EP Blingermeyer puts on a benefit for Earth. Short 5 minute podcast of questionable taste.
A chronology of my attempts at creative writings, and my attempts to present those to the world at large (ie selling them)
Saturday, April 25, 2020
Tuesday, April 21, 2020
Who, China?
Your filthy animal torture market causes you shame from a world outbreak? Golly. Lesson Learned? Nope. Just take over the World Health Organization and shut their mouth so another virus breaks out.
Friday, April 17, 2020
Fox is Shouting Fire in a Crowded Theater
If I went on national television and told people to kill someone else I would be arrested. If I said that someone was an alien, even if I believed it, and that person was killed, I would still be killed. Murder or manslaughter; I am responsible for the persons death no matter my intent.
We have now moved past whether or not Fox news is "Press" and beyond "Free Speech" or concerns about becoming a banana republic. Fox is a threat to the public good and must be shut down. Here is my case as to why.
Sunday, April 12, 2020
News of the Four Worlds: Pornucopia and Chickens
Robot 1 and Robot 2 are back with the latest news from Earth AND Terra about what happens when bored humans write really bad erotic fan fic.
Thursday, April 9, 2020
Thoughts on The Allies of Viruses
Recent news has forced me to break from my comedic break to share my thoughts on those who are, quite literally, allies to Viruses and helping to spread them and the only appropriate response thereof.
Wednesday, April 8, 2020
Monday, April 6, 2020
[Script] Title Scene for "The Long Road" by J Weilin
Title Scene
(Black Screen)
Words Flash: Hell is the People You are With (Satre)
(Black Screen)
Words Flash: War Is Hell - General William Sherman
(Black Screen)
By Proxy, In War, Hell is the People Who Put You There - Gunny
SCENE - Absolutely hellish battlefield with troops locked down. Troops are dying left and right.
SCENE - Orbiting ships bombard the battle field.
SCENE - Titanic explosions around the area, killing the enemy and the invading army.
REAVER, GUNNY, DOC, MAX, SMITH, WESSON are locked down in a culdesac.
GUNNY (Starts to speak)
They're KILLING their own-
(interupted by an explosion)
MAX
I have a plan. If we can get to this point here
(Max points to a holographic map)
We can get can access the storm drains in
WESSON
That's an awfully old map Max.
REAVER and DOC look at each other, dubious
SMITH
Let's do it.
SCENE-Max puts up the map and leaves heavy supressing fire. More orbital strikes blow up several men off scene. Actual counter artillery fire kills more.
MAX (speaking in communicator)
We are in the line of fire. Repeat-we are IN the line of fire.
The team moves forward, in cover formation.
WESSON
We're almost there. I can see it (his head is blown apart)
MAX
This is the only way we're going to be able to get off this planet. It's forward or dead.
SMITH
I am not dying today.
Max, Smith and Gunny look at each other, and they move in firing the last of their precious ammunition. Smith is atomized by hostlie fire.
DOC and REAVER get into the storm drain and tunnels beyond, but the enemy keeps coming forward with seemingly inexuastible numbers.
GUNNY is trapped until some fallen debris as MAX helps him out. MAX is shot in the course of doing this. GUNNY looks at Max.
MAX (Closeup)
Go. Go now.
Scene closes with Gunny leaving and Max firing at full auto at the enemy. Gunny runs down the tunnel with hints of those behind him.
SCENE - Black Screen
24 Hours Earlier
SCENE - Locker Room
CAPTAIN SCHLO is in an argument with GUNNY
SCHLO
Were you trained in Tarantico?
GUNNY
No but-
SCHLO
Are you an officer?
(checks Gunny's uniform)
SCENE: Close up of Gunny's face
SCENE: Close up of Schlo's face looking to the side
SCENE: Close up of Gunny's face
(beat)
Gunny looks to the same side.
SCENE: Close up of the brevets on Gunny's sleeve.
SCENE: Close up of the stars on Schlo's sleeve.
SCENE: Close up of Schlo
SCHLO
Then WHY are we having this conversation again
SCENE SMITH, WESSON and MAX are in a locker room, Schole and Gunny can be vaguely heard argueing in the background. They are all standing around watching a man in a suit on a sceen.
SMITH (slowly cleaning and assembling his gun) (Close up)
I still say he has something in his teeth.
Scene Video of a man in a suit
CORP GUY (volume low)
What's good for Amalgamated Dynamics is Good for Humanity
WESSON (arms crossed and folded) (Close up with arms)
I am not seeing it.
CORP GUY
We support our troops.
SMITH (close up)
Look at. Right there.
CORP GUY (on screen arms wide)
Let us ALL support our troops and our economy.
SMITH (off screen) points with his finger at CORP GUY's face.
It's RIGHT there.
WESSON (close up)
I just don't see it
MAX (closeup, squinting)
I mean...maybe?
Scene: Max, wider shot. He ocks his own pistol and holsters it.
MAX
Let's finish gearing up.
Scene Schlo and Gunny are in a small room
GUNNY
Yes, you are in command. I'm not saying cut off the invasion. We both know that isn't going to happen. But if we deploy just 30 meters north we can LIVE through it.
SCHLO
No.
GUNNY
But I TOLD you this is a setup. We are being sent to die to bring in fresh recruits for their profits.
SCHLO
No. Fake news.
GUNNY
My sister WORKS in his office, she told me.
SCHLO
The answer is NO. Now go gear up with the others.
(Black Screen)
Words Flash: Hell is the People You are With (Satre)
(Black Screen)
Words Flash: War Is Hell - General William Sherman
(Black Screen)
By Proxy, In War, Hell is the People Who Put You There - Gunny
SCENE - Absolutely hellish battlefield with troops locked down. Troops are dying left and right.
SCENE - Orbiting ships bombard the battle field.
SCENE - Titanic explosions around the area, killing the enemy and the invading army.
REAVER, GUNNY, DOC, MAX, SMITH, WESSON are locked down in a culdesac.
GUNNY (Starts to speak)
They're KILLING their own-
(interupted by an explosion)
MAX
I have a plan. If we can get to this point here
(Max points to a holographic map)
We can get can access the storm drains in
WESSON
That's an awfully old map Max.
REAVER and DOC look at each other, dubious
SMITH
Let's do it.
SCENE-Max puts up the map and leaves heavy supressing fire. More orbital strikes blow up several men off scene. Actual counter artillery fire kills more.
MAX (speaking in communicator)
We are in the line of fire. Repeat-we are IN the line of fire.
The team moves forward, in cover formation.
WESSON
We're almost there. I can see it (his head is blown apart)
MAX
This is the only way we're going to be able to get off this planet. It's forward or dead.
SMITH
I am not dying today.
Max, Smith and Gunny look at each other, and they move in firing the last of their precious ammunition. Smith is atomized by hostlie fire.
DOC and REAVER get into the storm drain and tunnels beyond, but the enemy keeps coming forward with seemingly inexuastible numbers.
GUNNY is trapped until some fallen debris as MAX helps him out. MAX is shot in the course of doing this. GUNNY looks at Max.
MAX (Closeup)
Go. Go now.
Scene closes with Gunny leaving and Max firing at full auto at the enemy. Gunny runs down the tunnel with hints of those behind him.
SCENE - Black Screen
24 Hours Earlier
SCENE - Locker Room
CAPTAIN SCHLO is in an argument with GUNNY
SCHLO
Were you trained in Tarantico?
GUNNY
No but-
SCHLO
Are you an officer?
(checks Gunny's uniform)
SCENE: Close up of Gunny's face
SCENE: Close up of Schlo's face looking to the side
SCENE: Close up of Gunny's face
(beat)
Gunny looks to the same side.
SCENE: Close up of the brevets on Gunny's sleeve.
SCENE: Close up of the stars on Schlo's sleeve.
SCENE: Close up of Schlo
SCHLO
Then WHY are we having this conversation again
SCENE SMITH, WESSON and MAX are in a locker room, Schole and Gunny can be vaguely heard argueing in the background. They are all standing around watching a man in a suit on a sceen.
SMITH (slowly cleaning and assembling his gun) (Close up)
I still say he has something in his teeth.
Scene Video of a man in a suit
CORP GUY (volume low)
What's good for Amalgamated Dynamics is Good for Humanity
WESSON (arms crossed and folded) (Close up with arms)
I am not seeing it.
CORP GUY
We support our troops.
SMITH (close up)
Look at. Right there.
CORP GUY (on screen arms wide)
Let us ALL support our troops and our economy.
SMITH (off screen) points with his finger at CORP GUY's face.
It's RIGHT there.
WESSON (close up)
I just don't see it
MAX (closeup, squinting)
I mean...maybe?
Scene: Max, wider shot. He ocks his own pistol and holsters it.
MAX
Let's finish gearing up.
Scene Schlo and Gunny are in a small room
GUNNY
Yes, you are in command. I'm not saying cut off the invasion. We both know that isn't going to happen. But if we deploy just 30 meters north we can LIVE through it.
SCHLO
No.
GUNNY
But I TOLD you this is a setup. We are being sent to die to bring in fresh recruits for their profits.
SCHLO
No. Fake news.
GUNNY
My sister WORKS in his office, she told me.
SCHLO
The answer is NO. Now go gear up with the others.