Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Billy's First Bolt Gun

Billy's First Bolt Gun - A Book for Very Brave and Special Children

By Uncle Tom

First Page

Billy was a good boy who loved his mother and father very much. And they loved him.

[Image of a happy and loving family.]

Second Page

But sometimes Billy did bad things.

[Image of Billy grinning wickedly as he sneaks into the refridgerator and is reaching for some chocolate cake.]

Third Page

Billy's mother and father were very patient with him.

[Image of Billy getting his face washed with water and a cloth.]

Fourth Page

But perhaps that was a bad idea....

[Image of Billy sitting on top of the roof with googles, a radio flyer wagon and a roman candle...]

Fifth Page

Some things are very bad ideas...

[Image of Billy in the air with a wicked grin and falling wagon with a scared bird getting out of the way of the lit candle...]

Sixth Page

One day Billy's mother left her credit card where Billy could get it...

[An open purse with Billy looking at it, eyes wide behind the couch]

Seventh Page

Billy discovered the INTERNET!

[Computer screen with images of various dangerous things like tigers with lasers on their heads, lead finger paint, a whoopee cushion and a copy of Atlas shrugged.]

Eigth Page

Billy thought he ordered a tank of helium to make balloons!

[Image of Bolt Guns R US with an air tank.]

Ninth Page

Billy could hardly wait!

[Image of Billy waiting by the mailbox looking very sad.]

Tenth Page

Then one day, it came!

[Image of a box and Billy tearing into it.]

Eleventh Page

Billy read the instructions very carefully.

[Billy reading instructions. There are 100 dictionary's there, with a copy of Atlas Shrugged in the mix.]

Twelth Page

This would not make balloons.

[Billy is frowning at the Bolt Gun.]

Thirthteen Page

But it made neat holes in walls!

[Billy grinning next to a wall with lots of holes in it.]

Fourteenth Page

Billy found the bully at school.

[A large mutant looking kid looks at Billy.]

Fifteenth Page

Billy followed the instructions to the letter.

[Billy places bolt gun behind the Bully's neck.]

Sixthteen Page

KAAAAAAAAAAAAASNICK!

Seventeen Page

Uh oh.

[Kids all look horrified on the play ground, covered by blood and guts. At least one eye ball is dangling off someone's glasses]

Eighteen Page

Good thing Billy knew how to wipe his finger prints.

[Billy wiping the finger prints.]

Ninteenth Page

Good night Timmy. Good night Molly. Good night Sarah.

[Children staring at the ceiling in bed in various rooms on the page.]

Twentith Page

Sleep well. And Keep your mouth shut.

[Image of the bed in the dark with a shape at the window.]

Twenty First Page

Billy is the new Bully. And he doesn't like blabber mouths.

[Image of Billy grinning demonically with the Bolt Gun behind him.]

The End.

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