[500] Nickelodean Discordian

For "This Too Shall Pass" in December by T.C. Ricks Hello. And welcome to the Basalt Causality Generator Attraction. Please relax and strap yourselves in. By harnessing the singularity inside of a black hole and tapping into a local super string, we here at Basalt enterprises allow you to experience the full cat of the rectangle eating pizza. The forthrightness of the meaty hand that feeds the kittens with great tenderness upon the frothy beards of giant feet tickling the rectangles of the nectar of nighttime gods eating the things no man could comprehend from beyond the ninth winter wall of breakneck speeds into an alley from which no return was possible, the second time around. Do not be alarmed as this can cause headaches of the fourth and red lightning striking the stroke of midnight which streams with bleeding pain into the cobwebs of sorrow as they adroitly down the stone wall to a firm granite foundation of gelatin sold in Popsicle form by the rappist who rhymes with the music only hearable by the slithering snake among the stars of dimensions uncounted, behold the sky parting, behold the peeling back of time to reveal that which must not be known and cannot be remembered; words without meaning and stakes of all things unmentionable, unspeakable, not horror but a perfect sanity, the perfect understanding and reversal of entropy, that horrible eternity, the static spiritual equinox of balance and chi, the nightmare of heaven and paradise and the absolute understanding that justice is absolute and meaningless before the throne of the wrong God unspeakable in its nameless name pounding off every atom in all of creation in every world or shadow of worlds which cannot exist yet do between the electrons, perceived in the nameless dark of every child's bed on which the kinky kinking of twisted seduction beyond the travesty that is innocence can no longer reveal the ignorance of chained tomes that are made of flesh and bone that rot in the ground untouched beyond time and beyond the stasis which only things from beyond the curtain of reality can ignore, that flat thing we call our world that is no more than a thin disincorporated shadow on the plethora of wisps without shame or number in the tesseract unending ever bending of the things unseen by all but the third eye, which even now is blinded by truths for which not only words can not be formed, but are prevented from forming by their mere existence snuffing out the synapses of any lesser being that dare prethinking them before they even thank you for trying out our attraction. While you are here, don't forget to try the devolution chamber and the ring toss. Remember, if you get a hundred tickets, you can have a small stuffed animal. If you get a thousand tickets, you can get your very own giant panda (stuffed). Have a pleasant evening. The exit is to your left. Come again!