The Story of My Stories

I am not my title character.  Frank Noble never gives up....not ever.  He is the exception to the rule that says that we have have flaws; he has flaws, but he does not give up.  He is special and there is a reason the Helm of Mambrino works for him.

I have kept writing through a lot.  "You'll always have your day job."  Many many rejections, the understanding that my early stuff was awful, being told not to write by professionals, (seriously, like actully told not to), repeated non reads by friends and family (Though many have also been very helpful in this regards), non sales, non increases in the listenership of the podcast, the rejection of guesthood, now twice....

But this last time....

I've gotten better...exponentially better, but the repeated traige of friends and family....the repeated manifestation that they regard my contributions and ideas as valueless....

This is not all my family nor is it all my friends but you must understand it is a huge number.

Then I look at the success of people who aren't really that much better than me...some of them are...some of the aren't.

Mostly its because they are slightly better and more likable.

I try VERY hard to be likable...but it is not enough.

I can't just writ for me.  I know that's wht I'm supposed to do....its why the best writers are introverts...they could give a fuck about the outside world....

i...just.....amtired.  I am tired of losing friend, of dleted manuscripts, of rewrites and needing one more edit, and finding out that that isnt enough and you need another pass or another specialist or a better cover...if you go it on your own and just sync some more money into it...

I haven't completely shut the lights off but I'm damn close.

Who am I kidding?

The podcasts in the queue are it.

Its been real folks.