reading a fascinating book called The Art of asking by Amanda Palmer and I think it's time I honestly assess what kind of an artist I am. Lots of people do art for different reasons and there are some who steal the work of others or try to intimidate others through our door turn their gifts into very dark and very destructive purposes. From a purely subjective standpoint or it can be a lot of different things to a lot of different people; whether that be literature, poetry, visual art, film or even performance or dance.
but the thing is that ultimately what makes art art ease the subjective lens through which our reality or an imagined reality is displayed for everyone else. Because the experience and the motive of the artists and their life story as much a part of that lens fabrication is what is filtered through it motivation and style are definitely part of an artist's work. I am not a conventional artist and never have been and probably never will be. I am a real artist simply because of the fact that I had been paid for it, I seek to constantly better my skill, and in my work has been regarded with esteem by peers who I know to be a fact are what might be considered much more conventional artist...
but what I'm probably never really going to have our fans, certainly not hardcore fans so when I listen to a book like the art of asking which basically involves an artist bonding with the community that is interested in their body of work I find myself wondering should I even do it? And the truth of the matter is of course I should but should I adjust my work to Simply doing things that amuse me or should I still continue to do things that are at least semi comprehensible to other people...
I don't have an answer to that question. the question of should I give up writing at all, which was suggested to me a number of years ago at Worldcom by so-called experts, has been answered with the definitive no. and very soon I'll be writing my 7th novel which will complete a self set goal. I fully intend to keep riding after that although how much writing I don't know.
the real question for me is, should I even continue prose writing at all? my poetry is good personal and very often the most compulsive thing that I have to do is an artist even though I have also worked in visual medium and in prose writing. but I must admit I enjoy my prose writing even if it's incredibly painful, I enjoy thinking about it I enjoy thinking what to do with it and I enjoy pretty much everything about it even if very often it's very much a love-hate relationship. very soon I'm going to be selling 20 copies of my book in the Decatur Book Festival and given previous experience with most of my Artistic Endeavors I fully expect very little. an attempt to get the book spiders in the Sugar Factory signed by the Fantastic artist who did the art for it might trigger to buy the booksome of her fans I don't know.
but the thing is is that if no one's actually going to buy these things and it is purely for me wouldn't it make more sense to stick with ebooks and continue to turnout material that I don't have to pay to edit or pay to make covers for or ever dream of hiring my friend to do the audio books, and the answer is I don't know. because the truth is I enjoy the work that my work inspires in other artists in fact it's the greatest satisfaction I get. and it has more meaning to me than simply going to some artists and say draw me a pink spider with a sunset in the background in a world full of toilet clouds... it has meaning because someone else's life was touched by mine through my art even if I had to pay them to do it.
maybe I should pay people to start reading my books I don't know... for most people that would not only be dishonest at a certain level but economically stupid but on the other hand if I actually enjoy it who the fuck is anyone to say otherwise?
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