Saving Christmas (again)

 by Emmit Other

There is power in belief

But so few consider the consequences

Such reckless belief might make Santa and his reindeer fly

You might not even mind the Krampus

Revived by a raft of Christmas horror movies

But now the existential Christmas Dilema

Is part of the Mythology

Like Mr Magoo

Santa needs constant saving

His head stuck in a bucket

Or jail

Or kidnapped by Martians

Or trapped in an office complex during am elaborate heist of Nakatomi Plaza

Like Camelot being invaded

By every rando and his aunt matilda

Incompotent Santa needs constant help

It makes Christmas ours

Democratizing the magical distribution of presents

Though by new the sleigh smells like a used restroom in the Back of Fucking Beyond

The elves really cant get the smell out

So when you see Santa 

With his neck stuck in a plastic six ring beer holder

By all means help the poor bastard out

But let him do his job

Poor man has self esteem issues

Let christmas save itself for once