Who could have foreseen what an .....interesting.....year 2020 was for all four worlds. Robot 1 and Robot 2 discuss in detail and also make predictions for the year to come.
A chronology of my attempts at creative writings, and my attempts to present those to the world at large (ie selling them)
Thursday, December 31, 2020
Friday, December 25, 2020
Saving Christmas (again)
by Emmit Other
There is power in belief
But so few consider the consequences
Such reckless belief might make Santa and his reindeer fly
You might not even mind the Krampus
Revived by a raft of Christmas horror movies
But now the existential Christmas Dilema
Is part of the Mythology
Like Mr Magoo
Santa needs constant saving
His head stuck in a bucket
Or jail
Or kidnapped by Martians
Or trapped in an office complex during am elaborate heist of Nakatomi Plaza
Like Camelot being invaded
By every rando and his aunt matilda
Incompotent Santa needs constant help
It makes Christmas ours
Democratizing the magical distribution of presents
Though by new the sleigh smells like a used restroom in the Back of Fucking Beyond
The elves really cant get the smell out
So when you see Santa
With his neck stuck in a plastic six ring beer holder
By all means help the poor bastard out
But let him do his job
Poor man has self esteem issues
Let christmas save itself for once
Thursday, December 24, 2020
To my Beloved
by Emmit Other
The stars burn eternal
But also with envy for thee
Envoy of Kindness
Sentinel for all creatures great and small
Keeper of Lore
Organizer of Archives
Solver of Puzzles
Patroness of the Arts
Fashionista Appreciator
Fellow Traveller to Exotic and Distant Lands
We roam the Earth
But in some ways the Cursed Year was blessing
More time with thee
Glory and Amber we Made the Hourglass stopper
In thine eyes I see my best self
Merry Christmas Most Beloved
Twas the Night Before Spacegoats
We take a beloved christmas poem read by a robot and add Space Goats to key parts...because what could be more 2020 than that?
Is this really a good idea?
by Emmit Other
I see a future
A thousand thousand years from now
When we are but a myth
Our seeds are scattered to the stars
Panhuman missives zeal from one colony to another
In the blink of an eye by quantum entanglement
The line between flesh and steel blurs
And Earth is lost
Only to be found again
Earth herself
Our cradle, reduced to a rancid Venus hothouse
Our reexplorers are saddened
But their sorrow turns to horror
As the only life in the Sol system
Is a never ending cave complex
Deep beneath the surface of Mars
Bat eyed mole men
Slink and slime around
Living on roaches and spiders and centipedes
Sapient enough to know horror
But with no record of how they came to be
Leon Stink has cursed the Martians
To a million years of evolutionary horror
Just so he could die with a feather in his cap
His grinning skeleton beaming down on the ruin of his colony
Orbiting in his car with his hand on the wheel
Stellar wind in the final strand of its vacuum preserved hair
Lord of the empire of Morlock horror
That panhumanity leaves
And never visits again
Monday, December 21, 2020
Conjunction
by Emmit Other
Chronos and Zeus
Battling it out again in the heavens
800 years past
Mirage of Mythology
Panoplay to the steely naked eye
Bookending the Year of Chaos
Aquarius hosting the galactic affair
Drowned in a glory of stars
Stars we cannot see due to the pollution of light
One era ends
Another begins
The Golden Age is ours
If we but claim it
Fire was stolen once
Lets steal it again
And go up to join them
Friday, December 18, 2020
Tuesday, December 8, 2020
The Fate of the World
In the war movie "Enemy at the Gates" about dueling Snipers in Stalingrad, the fate of the world comes down to two men. In the real world, the fate of the WHOLE FREAKING WORLD comes down to two senatorial elections.
Now is not the time to sit on your ass.
Thursday, November 19, 2020
Thief Disney
In the latest line of abuses against REAL artists, musicians and writers; Disney, the most VORACIOUS copyright baron of them all is screwing over a popular writer for royalties JUST because it can. It's gross and its high time to strip these giant zaibatsus of their copyright holdings since they have CLEARLY proven they cannot be responsible citizens.
Saturday, October 31, 2020
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of JK Rowling
Join Harry Potter and Kreacher as they confront She Who Must Not Be Named, the true threat to the characters of the Wizarding World. What will happen to Harry, and will you help him?
Tuesday, October 27, 2020
After the Coup - Rebuilding
After a successful struggle, the very international institutions we built to stabilize the world (and exploit it) will make it harder for a legitimate government to create a new constitution to meet the needs of the people since currently we recognize non democratic actors like Russia and China as 'stabilizers' as well as the habit of the 'peace industry' to give all factions including the American Taliban a seat at the table.
Monday, October 12, 2020
After the Coup - Organization
Organizing in the United States of America after a coup is no easy task. Knowing which organization to trust is a matter of understanding who is leading the movement and what their plan is, and whether or not you want to risk association with them.
Wednesday, October 7, 2020
After the Coup - Resistance
After a coup happens in the United States, the desire of every ethical and courageous person to resist. But how much do you resist? What lines will you cross? What price will you pay? What price are you willing to risk others paying for your efforts?
You need to know ALL of these things.
Wednesday, September 30, 2020
After the Coup - Survival
It's real folks. "Stand By" is as much of a signal as you would ever need to take the threat to our freedom seriously. But are you PREPARED for what might be coming? And even if it isn't in the next few months, the desire to take our freedom is a threat in the 2022 and 2024 cycles at least.
This is the first of four sessions on preparing yourself for a coup.
-Survival
-Resistance
-Organization
-Rebuilding
Saturday, September 26, 2020
The $ins of $ilicon Valley - Dune and Fading Suns
The end of Part 1 of the series. I wrap up my conclusions on the toxic culture of Silicon Valley and some of the steps we need to take to avoid science fiction cultures that restrict technology and put it in the hands of a few.
Sunday, September 20, 2020
Saturday, September 19, 2020
The $ins of $ilicon Valley - The Public Square
The Dark Lords of Silicon Valley effectively control speech if you are not a millionare and they dont do it with Neutrality. They may not be monopolies, but they are, collectively, effectively monopolies and we should not allow them to decide how our content viewing is prioritized. Its one thing to put ads in, its another to say 'a private platform' controls what see and hear.
Thursday, September 10, 2020
Mommeries - Part 27 - Caspar
Recollections from Caspar, Wyoming including kids getting lost near Dead Horse, Cowboy Ed, The Loss of Moonboots, Hodgie the Piece of Crap Abuser and the Very Very Very Interesting Family Reunion Why I Smashed My Face To Bits
Monday, August 3, 2020
The $ins of $ilicon Valley - The Two Towers
The root of Silicon Valley Culture stems from Wall Street Culture, which is ultimately the root of all evil. I agree, that 'lack of money' often causes evil, but more so 'lack of accountability' makes evil and Wall Street has learned that it has no master but itself except in the most dire of circumstances or random arbitrary examples. Silicon Valley Tech Chuud culture can't be fixed until you take the $$$$$ out of the equation or at least mute it.
Sunday, July 26, 2020
The Nail
Nothing else we do to stop Trump matters if we can't vote, and if we don't fund the USPS, we will NOT be able to vote.
Sunday, July 12, 2020
The $ins of $ilicon Valley - You Move Fast and Broke it, You Bought It
Is there anything a Silicon Valley wouldnt try to sell for a buck? Nothing is off the table for them; whether its our jobs, our culture, our friendships or families. For all the good done with their magical boxes, they dont ever compensate for the damage they do except with a few token donations or solophistic platitudes.
Thursday, July 2, 2020
The $ins of $ilicon Valley - Treason
Facebook and Twitter know EXACTLY what they are doing when they let the russian bots run rampant on their toxic networks. It needs to be stopped.
Saturday, June 20, 2020
The $ins of $ilicon Valley - The Tyrant of Mars
Why are we going to let a guy who says a virus doesnt exist so he can risk lives to sell more electric cars be in charge of a colony a hundred million miles away? What is wrong with a system that allows such a sociopath such unchecked power?
Monday, June 15, 2020
The $ins of $ilicon Valley - The Magniot LIne
Even a virtue assigned to the tech world has all kinds of holes in it. While an individual might have protection inside of the companies that actually bother to care about it. When a secure company shares their data with an insecure company (facebook) or government (China) then it doesn't matter how secure they are INTERNALLY, they are absolutely insecure out of their narrow walled garden.
Saturday, June 13, 2020
The Irredeemable Party
At what point does a party's brand become so toxic that you are evil simply being involved with them any more?
The Republican Party crossed that line a LONG time ago and its time to stop celebrating "the good republicans"
Tuesday, May 26, 2020
Mommeries - Part 26- Driving and Digestion Problems
More time in Houston in the mid seventies. Driving, digestion problems, a 4th pregnancy, a city in transition and fun with Anesthesia.
Thursday, May 21, 2020
The $ins of $ilicon Valley - Petty Little Frankensteins - Digital Immortally
Digital Immortality is a question of When, not If. Do we really want the Dark Lords of the Valley having watch over our future Digital souls?
Tuesday, May 19, 2020
Mommeries - Part 25 - Cats, Rats, Snakes and Spiders
Houston is an interesting place and it is even more interesting when your house is near a swamp. The perils of nature and nuture revealed.
Saturday, May 16, 2020
The $ins of $ilicon Valley - Petty Little Frankenstins - Digital Intelligence
Digilital Intelligence (ie AI) is going to happen. But if it must happen why are we allowing the Dark Lords of Silicon Valley to be the ones to make it so?
Sunday, May 10, 2020
The $ins of $ilicon Valley - Toxic C.H.U.U.D. Culture
The problem isn't technology, it's culture and the people who control it. This is an introduction to my newest series exposing the dangers these bad gatekeepers and those who own and fund them pose to society and our future.
Friday, May 8, 2020
Paradise Lost and Space Goats
Robot 1 Reads Paradise Lost with key words replaced by the sound of a space goat.
Saturday, April 25, 2020
Spagetithon
EP Blingermeyer puts on a benefit for Earth. Short 5 minute podcast of questionable taste.
Tuesday, April 21, 2020
Who, China?
Your filthy animal torture market causes you shame from a world outbreak? Golly. Lesson Learned? Nope. Just take over the World Health Organization and shut their mouth so another virus breaks out.
Friday, April 17, 2020
Fox is Shouting Fire in a Crowded Theater
If I went on national television and told people to kill someone else I would be arrested. If I said that someone was an alien, even if I believed it, and that person was killed, I would still be killed. Murder or manslaughter; I am responsible for the persons death no matter my intent.
We have now moved past whether or not Fox news is "Press" and beyond "Free Speech" or concerns about becoming a banana republic. Fox is a threat to the public good and must be shut down. Here is my case as to why.
Sunday, April 12, 2020
News of the Four Worlds: Pornucopia and Chickens
Robot 1 and Robot 2 are back with the latest news from Earth AND Terra about what happens when bored humans write really bad erotic fan fic.
Thursday, April 9, 2020
Thoughts on The Allies of Viruses
Recent news has forced me to break from my comedic break to share my thoughts on those who are, quite literally, allies to Viruses and helping to spread them and the only appropriate response thereof.
Wednesday, April 8, 2020
Monday, April 6, 2020
[Script] Title Scene for "The Long Road" by J Weilin
(Black Screen)
Words Flash: Hell is the People You are With (Satre)
(Black Screen)
Words Flash: War Is Hell - General William Sherman
(Black Screen)
By Proxy, In War, Hell is the People Who Put You There - Gunny
SCENE - Absolutely hellish battlefield with troops locked down. Troops are dying left and right.
SCENE - Orbiting ships bombard the battle field.
SCENE - Titanic explosions around the area, killing the enemy and the invading army.
REAVER, GUNNY, DOC, MAX, SMITH, WESSON are locked down in a culdesac.
GUNNY (Starts to speak)
They're KILLING their own-
(interupted by an explosion)
MAX
I have a plan. If we can get to this point here
(Max points to a holographic map)
We can get can access the storm drains in
WESSON
That's an awfully old map Max.
REAVER and DOC look at each other, dubious
SMITH
Let's do it.
SCENE-Max puts up the map and leaves heavy supressing fire. More orbital strikes blow up several men off scene. Actual counter artillery fire kills more.
MAX (speaking in communicator)
We are in the line of fire. Repeat-we are IN the line of fire.
The team moves forward, in cover formation.
WESSON
We're almost there. I can see it (his head is blown apart)
MAX
This is the only way we're going to be able to get off this planet. It's forward or dead.
SMITH
I am not dying today.
Max, Smith and Gunny look at each other, and they move in firing the last of their precious ammunition. Smith is atomized by hostlie fire.
DOC and REAVER get into the storm drain and tunnels beyond, but the enemy keeps coming forward with seemingly inexuastible numbers.
GUNNY is trapped until some fallen debris as MAX helps him out. MAX is shot in the course of doing this. GUNNY looks at Max.
MAX (Closeup)
Go. Go now.
Scene closes with Gunny leaving and Max firing at full auto at the enemy. Gunny runs down the tunnel with hints of those behind him.
SCENE - Black Screen
24 Hours Earlier
SCENE - Locker Room
CAPTAIN SCHLO is in an argument with GUNNY
SCHLO
Were you trained in Tarantico?
GUNNY
No but-
SCHLO
Are you an officer?
(checks Gunny's uniform)
SCENE: Close up of Gunny's face
SCENE: Close up of Schlo's face looking to the side
SCENE: Close up of Gunny's face
(beat)
Gunny looks to the same side.
SCENE: Close up of the brevets on Gunny's sleeve.
SCENE: Close up of the stars on Schlo's sleeve.
SCENE: Close up of Schlo
SCHLO
Then WHY are we having this conversation again
SCENE SMITH, WESSON and MAX are in a locker room, Schole and Gunny can be vaguely heard argueing in the background. They are all standing around watching a man in a suit on a sceen.
SMITH (slowly cleaning and assembling his gun) (Close up)
I still say he has something in his teeth.
Scene Video of a man in a suit
CORP GUY (volume low)
What's good for Amalgamated Dynamics is Good for Humanity
WESSON (arms crossed and folded) (Close up with arms)
I am not seeing it.
CORP GUY
We support our troops.
SMITH (close up)
Look at. Right there.
CORP GUY (on screen arms wide)
Let us ALL support our troops and our economy.
SMITH (off screen) points with his finger at CORP GUY's face.
It's RIGHT there.
WESSON (close up)
I just don't see it
MAX (closeup, squinting)
I mean...maybe?
Scene: Max, wider shot. He ocks his own pistol and holsters it.
MAX
Let's finish gearing up.
Scene Schlo and Gunny are in a small room
GUNNY
Yes, you are in command. I'm not saying cut off the invasion. We both know that isn't going to happen. But if we deploy just 30 meters north we can LIVE through it.
SCHLO
No.
GUNNY
But I TOLD you this is a setup. We are being sent to die to bring in fresh recruits for their profits.
SCHLO
No. Fake news.
GUNNY
My sister WORKS in his office, she told me.
SCHLO
The answer is NO. Now go gear up with the others.
Sunday, March 15, 2020
Lord Potato's Timeshare in Heaven and Extended Celestial Warranty
Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures and EP Blingermeyer is now selling an episode to the Reformed Church of Lord Potato. Thankfully, 35 minutes of this hour will only be broadcast in Terra but here are 25 minutes of your life you will never get back.
Run.
You have been warned.
Sunday, March 1, 2020
News of the Four Worlds - We Didn't Start The Fire
The REAL TGAW Podcast, not that political drivel TC dishes out but Robot 1 and Robot 2 with hard hitting commentary on FOUR worlds. Did they uncover the real source of the Corona Virus outbreak?
Wednesday, February 12, 2020
11 Fixes For a Broken Everything - Cultural Engineering
It isnt enough to fight to fix the world one time; you have to make it better in ways that last and that means creating institutions to meet the needs of people. We not only need to do this but the demand is so large that we need to actually study this, teach it and distribute the knowledge of how to do so at a high school level.
Sunday, January 26, 2020
11 Fixes For a Broken Everything - The Root Value of Truth
Fake News isnt just some abstract problem that makes elections harder. Honor and Truth are the things that let us live and get through every day.
Saturday, January 18, 2020
11 Fixes For a Broken Everything - Oliver Twist Courts
If it isn't being enforced, it shouldn't be a law. We need special prosecutors outside the regular chain of command in the justice department for laws people dont enforce OR we need to get rid of the laws that even orphan courts dont want to make happen.
Sunday, January 12, 2020
11 Fixes For a Broken Everything - Shackling Milo Mindbender
There will always be Milo Mindbenders in the world. Wealth Taxes and Income Taxes solve some of the problem but they find ways around it. The only long term sustainable solution (besides changing the fundamental nature of humanity) is making sure that Milo works for US rather than just himself to get what he wants.