[Play] A Handgrenade Loose in King Arthur's Court - Act 1 Scene 4

 Scene 4

King Arthur, Sir Pelimore and Grenademan all stand around a map of Camelot.

Sir Pelinor

What you're seeing now is a map of Camelot.  As you can see, we are under siege from all sides.  Never has the realm been in greater peril.  I wish we could do something sire.  (Looks at King Arthur)

King Arthur

Quite right, Sir Pelinor.  It’s my fault for insisting that we try to find the grail and scattering the knights to the four winds.

Sir Pelinor

It’s not your fault your majesty, its the only way we can get you well.  What think you, Sir Grenademan?

Grenademan

THIS DOES INDEED LOOK DIRE.  WORRY NOT KING ARTHUR, FOR THE FORCES OF GOOD SHALL TRIUMPH OVER THE FORCES OF EVIL.

King Arthur

Must you be so...loud?

Grenademan

(slightly less loud but still loud) IS THIS BETTER?  

King Arthur

Barely.

Grenademan

EXCELLENT.  WHICH IS THE GREATER PRIORITY FOR THE DEFENSE OF THE REALM, BLOWING THE FORCES OF EVIL TO SMITHEREENS, OR FINDING THE GRAIL?

Sir Pelinor

Both.  We need both.  Without the Grail, Arthur is doomed.  The land is the king, the king is the land.  And if we don’t stop the armies of Mordred, then we shall never have TIME to find the Grail.

Grenademan

DIRE INDEED.  PERHAPS IF I SHOWED YOU THE SECRET OF GUNPOWDER….

King Arthur

What is this Gunpowder? Unless it is the blade of Angels, I doubt it is enough to save us without the grail.

Grenademan

THE FORCES OF EVIL CANNOT WIN BECAUSE THE FORCES OF GOOD ARE INDESTRUCTIBLE.  GUNPOWDER IS AN EXPLOSIVE CHEMICAL MIXTURE THAT MAKES THINGS EXPLODE.

King Arthur

I assure you, I am not indestructible.  Evil can and does triumph in the world, though this Gunpowder does sound interesting.

Grenademan

THE DESTRUCTABILITY OF GOOD IS A MYTH, LIKE BIGFOOT.  WE SHALL TRIUMPH.

Pelinor

What is a Bigfoot?

King Arthur (aside to Pelinor)

I do believe Sir Grenademan may be a bit ...mad.

Pelinor

Perhaps he too spent too much time chasing after the Questing Beast? But Alchemy is a subject I know well.  If our Knight Alchemical can teach me this secret it may be a great boon to us.

King Arthur

Very well.   (To Grenademan) We bid thee teach Sir Pelinor of this Powder of The Gun that we may blow our foes to tiny bits.

Grenademan

TALLYHO! COME FORTH SIR PELINOR! LET THE EDUCATION OF TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENT COMMENCE.

Sir Pelinor shrugs at King Arthur and they leave the stage.