[Play] A Handgrenade Loose in King Arthur's Court Act 1 Scene 12

Lancelot, Galahad and Grenademan ride into a clearing.  

Bill the enchanter enters looking quite hung over.

Grenademan

THIS IS THE NEXT PHASE OF OUR QUEST.

Lancelot

How do you know?

Grenademan

The Movie told me.

Lancelot

What is a movie?  You know what, don’t answer that question.

Bill

Ow.  Must you all be so loud.  (pours a hangover cure, and drinks it)

Grenademan

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

Bill

Not surprised.  Are you here to seek the grail?

Lancelot

We are.  Do you know where to find it?

Bill

I actually do.  (takes out a fold out map and shows Lancelot) You go that way, turn left, go about 12 miles and take a left.  There will be a large cave with some runes that say ‘Grail here’ and you can't miss it.

Lancelot

Thank you, very helpful

Galahad

That’s...it?

Bill

Excuse me?

Galahad

No riddles? No special tasks? Nothing?

Bill

I’ve got a hell of a hangover.  Sorry, I'm not in the mood, I can find a riddle book if you like.

Grenademan

IS YOUR NAME TIM?

Bill

I’m Tim’s understudy.  Tim is on vacay.

Grenademan

WHERE?

Bill

Albuquerque, lovely this time of year.

Lancelot

Where? Nevermind, I don’t want to know.

Galahad

I feel cheated.

Grenademan

I HEAR ALBUQUERQUE IS LOVELY THIS TIME OF YEAR.

Bill

Not really.  Assuming you can even get there, what with the left turns and all, its blistering hot and full of scorpions.

Lancelot

Let us ride!

Grenademan

TALLYHO

Galahad

This is terribly anti-climatic.