[Play] A Hand Grenade Loose in King Arthur's Court - Act 2, Scene 6

 Scene 6

(Lights Rise) There is a large obelisk with some writing on it, Morgana and Grenademan stand before it

Morgana

And this lovely phallic object clearly not compensating for something among the greater powers of the universe is the Obelisk of Demarkation.

Grenademan

AND IF WE BLOW THIS UP WE END THEIR CYCLE?

Morgana

Yup.

Grenademan

STAND BACK.

Morgana

Don’t mind if I do.  (Moves away)

Grenademan

TO FIGHT THE FORCES OF EVIL! (Grenademan tosses a grenade and nothing happens except it bounces off the obelisk harmlessly)

(beat)

Huh.  INTERESTING.

Morgana

Order has a habit of preventing things like explosions when he wants.

Grenademan

BUT CHAOS CAN ENHANCE THEM?

Morgana

Well yes, but Chaos is under penalty right now, so Order is stronger than Chaos in this realm.  

Grenademan

AH, BASIC SCIENCE THEN.

Morgana

How in Hades is that Science?

Grenademan

BY REVERSING THE POLARITY OF THE UNIVERSAL CONSTANT OF GRAVITY AND PLANCK'S CONSTANT BY MAKING IT SCALED TO THE BACKGROUND DARK MATTER INTERCHANGED WITH THE MAGNETIC QUANTUM THROMBOTIZER 

(takes off several grenades from his bandolier and does mechanical things with them.  Director may provide a bench and a hammer that Grenademan can hammer on the bench and then turns around holding up a grenade in his hand smiling widely)

CHAOS GRENADE!  

Morgana

That was literally just a literal random splattering of science gibberish, wasn't it?

Grenademan

A CRITICAL COMPONENT OF MAKING A CHAOS GRENADE IS CHAOS.

Morgana

I….guess…that makes sense.  As much as pretty much anything you say or do can be.

Grenademan

STAND BACK!

Morgana

(beat)

I never got any closer after the first time.

Grenademan

TO FIGHT THE FORCES OF EVIL AND ORDER! (tosses Grenade)

There is a mighty explosion and the Obelisk is destroyed.  (The Director may consider making the obelisk inflatable and suddenly deflate in a highly audible fashion.)

Oberon (Voice Over)

WHO DARES DESTROY OBERON’S OBELISK?

Grenademan

IT IS I, GRENADEMAN, HERE WITH MORGANA.

Morgana

Leave me out of this.

Oberon (Voice Over)

THE CHAMPION OF ORDER PROMOTED THIS?

Morgana

Promoted? More like…suggested…vaguely.  Provided information.

OBERON (Voice Over)

BOTH ORDER AND CHAOS ARE IN PENALTY.

Grenademan

AND THUS TRIUMPHS THE FORCES OF GOOD!

Morgana

Fuck.

(Lights Dim, Morgana Screams)