[Play] A Hand Grenade Loose in King Arthur's Court - Act 2, Scene 11

 Scene 11

Morgana and Frank appear near the toppled obelisk.

Morgana

Holy cow! That worked!

Grenademan

I AM PLEASED THAT WE SUCCEEDED.  I BELIEVE I HAVE SECURED THE SAFETY OF CAMELOT AND CAN RETURN TO MY HOME REALM.

Morgana

It will take a little bit of research, but its the least I can do.  

Mordred

Not.  So. Fast. 

Grenademan

HARK! THE FORCES OF EVIL!  (Tosses a grenade)

Mordred (Counters with a Tennis Racket)

HA! Arthur is not the only one to remember each cycle.  I remember the tennis player in King Arthur’s court.  I remember them all.

Morgana

By Hecate’s Blighted Eye

Banished Be to Hell

Mordred

A runecaster in King Arthur’s court.  Runes proof against arcane powers Morgana.  You are helpless against me.

Grenademan picks up a sword and begins fighting Mordred, who easily counters every blow and is clearly teasing Grenademan.

Mordred

Is that the best you can do?

Grenademan

NO, THIS IS.

Grenademan tosses a grenade and resumes the sword fight.  Mordred is slightly challenged but still proves the superior swordsman and strikes Grenademan with the flat of the blade multiple times.  The fight continues and Mordred starts to realize that his attempts to actually finish Grenademan off are dodged or stopped by annoying coincidence.

Mordred

Why won’t you just die?

Grenademan

THE FORCES OF GOOD WILL NEVER DIE!

Morgana, frustrated at multiple spells not working, tries something desperate.  (if possible, have her spell a hole in the ground and Mordred jump over it or, failing that, a rock.)

Mordred

Nice try, witch.

Grenademan changes to a different color grenade that explodes on impact but instead of pyrotechnics it is bright green paint.

Mordred

What the hell is that?

Grenademan

PAINT GRENADE.

Morgana

Oh is the mighty Mordred afraid of paint?

Grenademan and Mordred continue fighting but Grenademan lobs more paint grenades at Mordred who is finally forced to stop and remove his helmet.

Morgana

You’re not Mordred!  Who the hell are you?

Not Mordred

I am Johnny Silversmith.  And I’ve been fighting Monarchy for quite some time.

Morgana

Wait, you mean you’re a Spunky Young Patriot in…

Not Mordred

King Arthur’s Court.  When I was magically transported here by the enchanted Silver Tin, I knew that Mordred’s cause was ultimately just and that only by bringing an end to the monarchy, could I help America.  Mordred went back in my stead and I took his place.  I’ve been here for hundreds of cycles.

Grenademan

WELL, NOW YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL.

Morgana

I doubt King Arthur will be so merciful.

Grenademan

I DO NOT SUPPORT CAPITAL PUNISHMENT.

Not Mordred

You actually wear and use lethal weapons and you are against Capital Punishment?

Grenademan

SUPERHEROES DO NOT KILL

Not Mordred

Yeah right.

Grenademan

TELL IT TO ARTHUR, SUPERVILLAIN.