[Play] A Hand Grenade Loose in King Arthur's Court - Act 1 Scene 8

 Scene 8

Morgana and Merlin are on stage.

Morgana

Well?

Merlin

This is incredibly bad.

Morgana

What?

Merlin

Grenademan has a powerful chaos artifact.

Morgana

And?

Merlin

How can you not consider this a problem?

Morgana

How can you possibly care about what those two assholes care about anything? They use us as playthings and force us to remember it.  I’ve had to consult with Guenevere the Oxford Scholar for 400 cycles in a row now.  That’s centuries subjectively speaking.

Merlin

Can you put that away?

Morgana

Put what away? 

Merlin

Your ego, its suffocating the room, this is serious.

Morgana

Look, just because you have a man crush on Order doesn’t mean that this is my problem.  I think that this is just because you’re worried about losing our bet.

Merlin

What? No! I’m just looking out for both of us.  He has to be sent away.

Morgana

That’s your solution to anything Chaos portals in, portal them away.  Order’s side.  Chaos’s side.  You want to keep Camelot clean and simple.

Merlin

Anything and everything all of the time.

Morgana

What?

Merlin

People have no idea how close Camelot is to all corners of Western Civilization.  Everything is connected.  This game between Chaos and Order is part of the reason the legend is so prominent.  It is a tragedy, like Romeo and Juliet.  The world needs it.  Its important.  I have a duty to keep it together.

Morgana

Nothing you said is wrong.  But you forget who you are talking to.  I know you Merlin.  This isnt about some higher duty.  This is you living in the past like some washed  up high school jock reliving their high school football days.  You’re terrified of moving on.  

Merlin

It did all the things we designed it to do.  People don’t understand what Camelot was supposed to do.  And its still doing it.  It represents the ideals of order and good and hope.

Morgana

Order you say?

Merlin

I mean….(beat) You can’t have Order without Chaos.

Morgana

So hope and believing in something greater than yourself?

Merlin

Precisely.

Morgana

Like Grenademan?

Merlin

No not like that idiot.  He’s a literal hand grenade loose in the court and will break everything.  He is a literal agent of chaos.

Morgana

And you are supposed to be championing chaos.

Merlin

I-(beat)

Morgana

We didnt have to switch up.  You were the one who got bored.  You were the one who pitched the idea of switching to them.

(Beat as Merlin doesnt say anything)

You just wanted Order to admit that he liked you as his champion.  You wanted him to acknowledge you.  And he didn’t. Because he’s Order.

Merlin

Abstralatoria! (Lights and if possible pyrotechnics pursue) 

Who are YOU to psycho analyze ME?  

Morgana

I knew magic when you were just an infant. 

Trajaliyia! (more lights and pyrotechnics)

You don’t intimidate ME.

Merlin

Know your place!

Morgana

My place is anywhere I want it to be.  

Merlin

You tread on dangerous ground.

Morgana

Do I?  Do I old man? Well, you say Grenademan is dangerous? That he is a problem? Let’s see just how much of a problem he can be.

(Lights go out, Lights go up, Morgana is gone.)

Merlin

I hate it when she does that.