[Play] A Hand Grenade Loose in King Arthur's Court - Act 2, Scene 4

 Arthur, Percival, Lancelot, Grenademan and the Queen all sit around a round table

Percival

Tell me more about this ‘Galliger Gun’ you think will help us Sir Grenademan?

Grenademan

GATLING GUN, AND I BELIEVE WITH TWENTY SKILLED SMITHS, YOUR HELP AND THREE ASSISTANTS WE CAN CREATE THEM AND DEPLOY THEM TO VARIOUS KEY OUTPOSTS THROUGHOUT THE REALM

King Arthur

And you think this will stop Mordred?

Grenademan

I DO.  AS LONG AS WE KEEP MAKING AMMO AND TRAIN PEOPLE ON HOW TO USE THEM, HIS ADVANTAGE OF SURPRISE AND MOBILITY WILL BE ENTIRELY NULLIFIED.

Lancelot

If I hadn’t seen the wonders of your breakable potion bottles, I would never have believed it Sir Grenademan, but I think this just might work.

Percival

How long will it take to make?  

Grenademan

IF I HAVE ALL THE PEOPLE AND MATERIAL I ASK FOR, TWO WEEKS.

Morgana (V.O)

What a wonderful if not doomed idea.

(Lights dim)

Morgana Enters

(Lights Go up)

Grenademan

NEAT.

Arthur, Guinivere and Lancelot

WITCH!

Morgana

I’m glad to see all of you too.  I come with a message from Order.

King Arthur

Who?

Morgana

It’s so amusing that you are manipulated day in and day out and have no idea who is truly in charge.

Lancelot

What do you mean witch?

Morgana

I mean that your entire kingdom, your entire lives, are an ongoing match between two greater beings of Fairie, Order and Chaos, in a loop that has happened hundreds of times and that will happen hundreds of times going forward.  You are a game, and Chaos has cheated, so Order is taking his due penalty on Chaos’s part.

King Arthur

What nonsense is this? Speak plainly.

Moragana

I did speak plainly, your lack of comprehension is not my problem and certainly not Order’s problem.  Here is what you need to know, however, in your limited sphere of comprehension.  Order offers you a boon against Chaos’s interference.  Henceforth, he shall prevent Chaos from doing disruptive things to your efforts to defend yourselves, such as the random transformation into barnyard animals.

King Arthur

That was you?

Morgana

No, that was Chaos.  And his champion, Merlin.

King Arthur

Merlin?  Merlin has betrayed us?

Morgana

My good king, Merlin hasn’t worked for you or Camelot in general for hundreds of cycles, from your perspective he hasnt in thousnads of years.  He works for Order or Chaos.

Grenademan

THIS SOUNDS LIKE SLAVERY TO THE FORCES OF EVIL.

Morgana

(beat) Well, when you put it that way, I imagine it is.  Greater beings toying with lesser is a form of enslavement I suppose, in much the way a 12 year old child might cause problems for an ant farm they shake up every few days.

Grenademan

THEN WE SHALL FIGHT THE FORCES OF EVIL.

Percival

What of the Gatling Guns you were going to give us?

Grenademan

THIS IS THE GREATER EVIL.  HOWEVER, I WILL DICTATE THE PLANS SO YOU CAN CONSTRUCT THEM IN A FEW DAYS.

King Arthur

Surely you cannot mean to seek alliance with this witch?

Grenademan

ONLY UNTIL THE GREATER EVIL IS SMITED.

Morgana

Oh my, this is truly amusing.  Sure, by all means, let’s take on the greater fae power we have no possible chance of defeating.

Grenademan

LET US GET STARTED WITH THE TECHNOLOGICAL INSTRUCTION SIR PERCIVAL.