Thursday, January 6, 2022

[Play] A Handgrenade Loose in King Arthur's Court - Act 2, Scene 3

 Scene 3


Herald One

And so our good knights traveled throughout the land, undoing Merlin’s foul deeds.


Herald Two

Merlin tried to turn Grenadman into a Dog and the spell bounced off of a mirror and right back at him, but it didn't last long.


Herald One

Long enough to expose his ugly old face.


Herald Two

Arthur was incensed when he found out and banished Merlin.  


Herald One

Speaking of Arthur, the grail was used to cure him of his ills.


Herald Two

As soon as he took a draught, he was cured.


Herald One

The Land is the King, the King is the Land.


Herald Two

Crops bloomed, the sun shown and suddenly prosperity spread throughout the land.


Herald One 

Sir Pelinor and Sir Grenademan (knighted by King Arthur) created wondrous inventions that spread convenience throughout the land.  The King started a university.  Lancelot was favored again in court.  Galahad was no longer the pure, since even his abrasive personality and lack of personal hygiene was not enough to dissuade those grateful for those who had saved the king and caused them to no longer be barnyard animals.


Herald Two

And they all lived happily ever after.


Herald One

Seriously?


Herald Two

Well, that’s what they thought until yesterday.


Herald One

There is, literally, in no world in the multiverse, ‘happily ever after’, even the afterlife has dull days.


Herald Two

How would you know?


Herald One

Seriously? (beat) Anyway, trouble loomed along the horizon.


Herald Two

Arthur had a son


Herald One

A son who had been grown faster than natural


Herald Two

Behold Mordred, the bastard


Herald One

And now he challenged the kingdom, his raiders slowly going deeper and deeper into the kingdom, pillaging and burning as they went


Herald Two

And so a council of the knights was called, to decide how best to solve the problem


Herald One

And at the command of Order, they had a most unexpected visitor…


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