[Script] Peter Pan vs Frankenstein vs Superman - Page 9

Scene: Superman looks around desperately.  Helst uses his x-ray vision and spots a small girl on a bike.

Scene: He flies around the building in a flash and blur.   The little girl is awed.

Superman: (coughing) Excuse me.  I need to borrow your bike.

(Little girl's lip trembles like she is going to cry.  Superman sighs and flies off, buys a bag of coal.  He crushes a few and gives the girl a handful of diamonds.  Girl smiles and her eyes sparkle with diamonds.)

Superman: What's your name little girl?

Girl: Lucy.

Superman: Thanks Lucy.  Can I have your bike?

(Lucy nods.  Superman gets on the bike.  He starts to pedal and the bike falls apart.)

Superman: Fuck it! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck shit shit shit shit damn damn fuck shit!

(Whilst swearing he pounds the bike into slag.  The girl looks horrified.  Superman kisses her cheek and sucks away the memory.  Then flies off.)

On the Beach in Terra

So, I have been asked (no I haven't, I mean its not like you can send letters to another dimension, though if you email one to redanvilcreative@gmail.com and there is a good chance that TC will be able to telepathically transmit it to me, but he has almost a perverse sense of humor as EP Blingermeyer so he might randomly replace words...I digress....) what the beach is like in Terra.

It's pretty.  I mean, the beach in Miami on the right day is gorgeous on Earth, but in Terra we haven't had Captain Planet villains try to destroy the world, and we solved the climate change problem a while ago (again, because while we might have Super Villains, we don't have totally nihilistic morons....) so its even more gorgeous.  The water is crystal blue, the sky is even bluer and the air is so crisp and clean it will make you want to weep.  It will especially want to make you weep if Ed's Onions and Onion Rings Emporium is open.

There are a few difference.  Since our oceans are not dumping grounds for all the chemicals that you can get away with, there are less Jellyfish, which means a better swim, and because the earth was pulled slightly closer to the earth by a Terran Mage (because he could), so we also have better waves for surfing.  Surfer culture plus Miami is pretty interesting.  The most interesting colored surf boards that you ever saw...

Still, even paradise can have its hazards.

The hidden soviet submarine base is a major tourist attraction, especially since the city refuses to acknowledge it exists which means hoards of toursists randomly snorkeling every year trying to find it. About one in ten does, and they have to be ransomed all over again by the Shadow State Department.  You thought the email server thing was a big thing in your world..imagine if it actually contained information about the hidden world.  I mean, for Christ's sake, you had the Guardian exposing information on the Nazi base on the dark side of the moon.  Fortunately, our populace has been selectively bred by vampires and fairies over the ages to deliberately ignore things that They Are Not Supposed to See, so most people ignored it...but our version of Elon Musk is currently planning an exploratory mission to the moon to see if its there.  I think that one way or the other, in years to come, Terra will resemble Earth less and less.  I am still mastering the techniques of Astral Project but I think this might make it prohibitively difficult to find you.

I will miss Earth, for all its abject stupidity.  I think all humans, no matter what world they live in, need stories and need to be part of stories.  Its a shame we can't meet somewhere in the middle between Terra and Earth...

Of the 9 in 10 that don't find the hidden soviet submarine base, there are about 1 in 20 who are eaten by Deep Ones.  The local Deep Ones have considerably more taste than Insmouth.  They are almost human looking and they tend to have perfected meticulously practiced Jersey accents.  In fact, the better the Jersey accent, the more likely they are to be a deep one.  More than half of them are pretty decent and really don't try to eat people.  They just accept that the world will end when the Stars are in Alignment and just party until it ends.

I am slowly preparing for an expidition to Carcosa to learn about my family heritage.  I dread this, but don't want to speak more of it at this time.  Until later faithful reader.

[Script] Peterpan vs Frankenstein vs Superman - Page 8

Scene: The lab.  The skies are dark and storming (for no reason).  A bike, created from many other bike parts, cars, a bit of boat and  stitched together with wire, duct tape and stitches.

Scene: Lightning strikes a lightning rod in the roof of the house

Scene: A table rises up into the sky.

Scene: The lightning strikes the bike

Scene: A reflector light on the bike lights up

Scene: The table descends

Dr. Frankenstein: It's ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

Frankenstein: Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah (clapping hands)

Scene: Peter, Superman and Frankenstein on Frankenbike are all lined up on bikes.  Dr. Frankenstein and Denny are on the side.

Superman: Ready?

(Frankenstein and Peter nod.  Twinkerbell flickers as a light on Peter's Bike)

Superman: Set

(Everyone moves to position)

Superman: GO!

(All hell breaks lose, Frankbike and Frankstein surge forward making the earth shake.  Peter and Twinkerbell take off into the air and Superman's bike's handle bars come off because he's too strong for the damn bike.)

Superman: Poop.

[Heliotrope] The Rearrangers

Did you ever wonder why you had such big business blunders on Earth? Well there's a rather famous book by one of TC's uncles that explains why people are so idiotic where you're from, Terra the situation is more complicated. I know that many of you haven't had a chance to read heliotrope yet, primarily because it hasn't actually been released yet.

But one question you are likely to ask, is why something so incredibly valuable as spells of time travel would be lying around for anyone to pick it up. That's a very good question. First, the book in question was in the Royal Library. So it was reasonable for them to assume that the book was at least somewhat guarded. Another thing you have to remember, is that where I am from stories are much rarer and good stories are rarer still.  Time travel stories are very difficult. We simply don't have as many of them for people to learn some of the things that you can do with it.

Among Outer Fairy, another reason time travel is not is the Hooligans from middle fairy called the Rearrangers.  This group of goblins enjoys causing as much Havoc as possible. Even other goblins are embarrassed by them. Ever wake up one day and find your entire life and turned around? Perhaps you were a well-loved American superhero who fought Nazis, only to wake up and find out that you are one... You can thank the Rearrangers. In our reality, we had a new Coke. But it wasn't caused by poor marketing. It was caused by goblins. One morning we had Coke they tasted good. The next morning we had garbage. Sometimes they let people remember... And sometimes they don't. Sometimes Han shot first... And sometimes last. In case you were wondering, and our Star Wars who shot last in the original.  As I said, in our universe the stories aren't as good.

Fairies by and large don't mind a reputation for Mayhem. But the adjusters are so sloppy about it, they often make it look like they're just idiotic middle managers you haven't got any creativity left.  Point for point you can't tell the difference between Earth idiots and a lot of really stupid things on Terra. Are you going to use time travel for totally lame things? Why even bother...

So in case you were wondering... Yes it was a brief opening between Terra and Earth because the mentally deficient people at Marvel Comics to turn Captain America into a Nazi.  Reality breeches have consequences.

[Script] Peterpan vs Frankenstein vs Superman Page 7

Peter Pan: What are the stakes?

Superman: If you win, you get to court Denny.

Frankenstein: And if my monster wins?

Superman: He keeps away from your family.  Forever.

(Peter looks stricken)

Peter Pan: No!

Superman: And if I win, and, by the way, I can go faster than the speed of light, you all face justice. Frankenstein for assault and Peter Pan for lewdness and assault.

Frankenstein Monster: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Superman: That's the deal.  Otherwise we rumble.  Either of you wanna take those odds?

Denny: Excuse me, I'm right here.  Don't I get a say in this?

(He pats her head)

[The 500] Falling Behind

It was my last day as a taxi driver.  Twenty years ago, no one would have cared.  They would have gotten another job somewhere; truck driver, retail worker, fast food.  Those were the glory days before the robots.  Its not like they didn't warn us, we needed to have some kind of a system to accomodate people who weren't developers.  But we just didn't care.  God knows I didn't.  I was having a great time.  I remember the teens with fun; twenties were better.

But you kinda noticed it, even then, even if you didn't want to.  Robot here; robot there.  But hey, work hard, play hard.  It was a free market.  It's all good.

And I did work hard.  I got my first job as a taxi driver when I was 19, and I was good at it.  That's why it took me so long to notice; sure Uber and Lyft and all of the alphabet soup medicine companies were doing ride sharing; but the companies were assholes.  I was the driver with a personal touch.  People got along with me and I got along with them.

Eventually, the robots took all the jobs from the uber drivers who were taking it from taxi drivers.  And I just smirked because people were always gonna want a personal touch, not some fucking robot to drive them somewhere. I had survived the touch times, and now I was In Like Flynn.

The job changed and I changed with it.  Needed to wear a tux while you were driving? No problem.  Needed First aid training? No problem.  Needed to be able to be a fully liscenced bar tender capable of running the mini bar while driving? No problem.

I got training in psychology, etiqutte, fashion, self defense, stunt driving and the local history of the city.  The bar kept going up and up and I went with it.  There came a point where Taxi driver was synonymous with Rocket Scientist or Brain surgeon.  And I reveled in it.  At a time of 33% unemployment, and the rest of the world reached Post Industrial status, the United States became a backwater gulag for all but the 1%.

I was the 1%, so I didn't care.

But the higher you rise, the harder you fall; a lesson I learned all too well.  It wasn't Robots or Ninjas (they became a thing in 2025, don't ask) or cyborgs (2030) or zombies (2035), but keys. I lost the keys to the car.  Its a simple thing, right? I mean people lose their car keys, but not if you are a Taxi Driver.  You are expected to be the best of the best.   You are in the care of this 2 million dollar vehicle.  It is smarter than you are, but you are its human face.

If you lose your keys; its like mixing up the medication on your elderly grandparent.  Who wouldn't want to steal a taxi?

So of course my Taxi fired me.  I don't blame it.

But being unemployed is a 60 hour job now; you never have time to train or look for a real job.   Church, dancing, proxy voting, training in the Trump value book..it never ends.

I enjoyed my moment in the sun.  I regret nothing.

Except losing my keys.

[Writer Stuff] Broadleaf Writer's Association

A friend of mine belongs to these guys.  There website can be found here.  I am doing grant writing for them because they're a worthy cause.  If you are an indy author, you need all the help you can get.  Now there are writing associations in Miami, but for one reason or another they haven't really appealed to me yet.  I'll find the right fit, but Decatur and Atlanta has a thriving literary tradition, and the Broadleaf association is the perfect example of how such an association should work ideally.