Swamp Castle - Closing Comments

I talk about my experience with the writing track at SFWA and World Con 2011.

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[Script] The Sins of Silicon Valley - Act 2, Scene 6 - The Most Evil Company In The World

 Scene 6 - The Most Evil Company in the World

VO: We could talk a lot more about how Evil Amazon is….but we all know you’re here for the star of our show

[Elon Musk with a stupid smille comes sliding on to the stage]

VO: No, not you

[Gengis Khan slides on.]

VO: No.

[Stalin]

VO: No

[Rockfeller, Margaret Thatcher, Bush, Reagan, Trump, Henry the Eighth]

VO: No no no no no no, the most EVIL Person in the world who owns the most evil company in the world

[Mark Zuckerberg slides to the center of the stage]

Audience Side Effect: oooooooooooooooooooooh

[Screen shifts to a Facebook Logo]

VO: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence yes?  Well just why is Facebook the most evil company in the world? More evil than all these guys

[Screen shows East India Company, IBM, Microsoft, Google, Amazon and Apple all come on to the screen]

VO: Put together

[Logos come together and forms Facebook Logo]

VO: Several years ago, there was a movie that did a better job than we ever could that told the origin of facebook

[Screen shows images of the Social Network]

VO: The Social Network by Aaron Sorkin.  (Read Quickly) TLDR, Once upon a time, there was an amoral but adorkable guy named Mark Zuckerberg who had a solid idea, you know, for kids, no wrong movie, to take MySpace and increase it to steroids because he couldnt get a data and saw people and friendships as commodities and so it started as the facebook for collage (to get dates) and it was really super successful and everyone started using it so you could friend your mom, your roommate, your sisters cousins former roommate and even people who were absolutely nothing and smart people told Mark to learn the lesson of Steve Jobs and lock the company stock up so no one could ever steal it from him and so he stole Facebook 1.0 from the bros who helped bring us Bitcoin and Cryptofascism and made Facebook 2.0 which is one of the largest most powerful companies in the world and Mark lived happily ever after and Mark won and yaaaay Mark and everyone loves Mark because they love the facebook right? YAAAAY MARK.

Screen Goes Dark.

VO: Ahem.  Anyway.

[Script] The Sins of Silicon Valley - Act 2 - Scene 5 - Jar Jar Bezos

 [Scene] Musical score starts, Images of warehouses and lemonaid interspersed with smiling employees and lemons and lemonade and if possible pouring lemonade.

VO: One upon a time

There was a man Bezos

And he started a company 

Called Amazon 

That made electronic books for pesos

It burned up 

Most of the good bookstores

And left us Barnes and Noble

And turned the publishing industry

Into a pile of rubble

But then Jeff slowly changed

It to an everything store

He saw what Walmart did

And knew he wanted more

So bit by bit 

He changed amazon

Into a mighty beast

And made his own workers

Finger who was valued least

Suicide prevention 

Then became a thing in tech

Token pretense to worker health

Was the least they could do Heck

They coordinated to their devs all down

To make sure their takehome pay

Was aligned across the industry

And the worker got no say

Then he built warehouses

All across the land

Where you had to work your most

And each break was timed

If you took to long you would be toast

So to ensure your alacrity

We quietly do recommend 

You use a jar for your -

Amazon.com

Swamp Castle - Unfood

Freight is trapped on a ship designed for weight loss and while he can eat illusionary food to pass the time, his body needs a minimum caloric intake to survive.  Body horror and definite trigger warning as he does what it takes to survive.  Author's commentary and series conclusion the week after this.

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Considering

 That moment when you are 9000 words from finishing the first of a five book series (and it is your best to date) but you are still and 8 out of 10 writer vs 9 out of 10 poet...

And that every minute you write Armor of Stone you could be writing the Queen in Blue....

Swamp Castle - Dietötungderkünstlermachtdasglücklichekleinebäumemitdemglücklichenkleinenschnurrbartenstein

Franz tells his younger self to kill a Time Traveling Goebels who is going to hire him in the future.  Franz does this but his problems only start then.  

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[Script] Grenademan Vs The Zombies - Act 1, Scene 3

 Scene 3 

Back at the bunker, Ashley and Kevin enter the stage with Doc, Barbara and Smite.

Kevin: Hey Doc, we got here as soon as we could.

Ashley: What’s up?

(beat) Everyone looks at Ashley in an awkward silence.

Doc: Anyway…yeah, we might have all done something really dumb.

Kevin: Define dumb.

Doc: Jarvi might have learned to do some real magic.

Kevin: Seriously? This isn’t a practical joke is it?

Barbara: (Motioning to the dead bodies) Does this LOOK like a joke?

Ashley: Jesus, they smell.

Smite: Dead bodies tend to do that.

Doc: Right, so real magic might mean Jarvi was serious about the Zombie apocalypse

Smite: I don’t get you.

Kevin: Dude, remember, Jarvi is insane.

Ashley: And creepy.  Do you remember the way he stared at me at game night?

Doc: We’re getting off track.

Kevin: Maybe we should have invested in his start up. That’s really what this is about.

Barbara: Fuck that little fuck.  Some of us don’t have disposable income like that.

Smite: I know I don’t.

Doc: We’re getting off track.

Kevin: Define ‘on track’ in a situation like this Doc?