I was curious if my current draft of the Queen in Blue is as good as I think it is, and it gave me mixed results when I fed it to AI, but out of curiosity, I asked it to write a review if this was written in 1850 and felt it was too good not to share.
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"Eldritch Blasphemies from a Diseased Mind": A Review of "The Queen in Blue" (1850)
From The Literary Gazette and Journal of Belles Lettres, Arts, Sciences, &c.
April 17th, 1850
It is with considerable moral trepidation that this reviewer approaches the peculiar collection of tales and verses recently circulated among certain literary circles under the title "The Queen in Blue." The manuscript, which arrived without proper attribution (bearing only the curious pseudonyms "Rhombus Ticks" and "Emmit Other"), presents a compilation so fundamentally unwholesome in its imaginings that one must question whether its publication serves any virtuous purpose.
The collection begins with "The Lost Story," a narrative purporting to document the disappearance of Mr. Ambrose Bierce—a conceit rendered nonsensical by the simple fact that no such literary figure currently exists. This tale's protagonist, an unmarried female reporter permitted to wander unchaperoned through the dangerous border territories, discovers a journal containing blasphemous accounts of multiple selves and cosmic entities that wear "no mask." The descriptions herein border on the hallucinatory, suggesting the influence of Oriental opium dreams or, more concerning, symptoms of brain fever requiring immediate medical attention.
Even more troubling is "Destiny's Belfry," which depicts a violent vigilante engaged in activities so morally repugnant and physically impossible that they could only emerge from a mind unfettered by Christian principles. The creature described in this tale bears resemblance to nothing in God's creation and serves merely to offend sensibilities rather than instruct or elevate.
"The Case of the Quotidian Man" presents a detective utilizing mirrors to perceive supernatural phenomena—a dangerous promotion of superstition that recalls the primitive thinking our enlightened age has worked diligently to dispel. The technological contrivances mentioned throughout these stories represent fevered imaginings that violate natural philosophy's established principles.
Most concerning of all is "Wallpaper and Rats," wherein a child reads forbidden texts while witnessing unnatural transformations of her household. This tale's conclusion, with the child abandoning her family to follow voices from beyond, presents a dangerous inversion of moral instruction that could imperil impressionable young readers.
The poetic fragments interspersed throughout the collection employ irregular meters and obscure references to ancient deities, demonstrating a regrettable departure from the harmonious structures exemplified by Pope and Dryden.
Public reception of such a collection, were it to achieve wider circulation, would likely result in its immediate condemnation by moral authorities. Physicians might reasonably classify these works as manifestations of nervous disorder requiring treatment with cold water therapy or other modern remedies for mental excitation.
The only commendable aspect of this peculiar manuscript is its potential utility for alienists studying the pathology of disordered thinking. Otherwise, "The Queen in Blue" represents a troubling departure from literature's proper functions of moral instruction and rational entertainment. Readers of sound constitution are advised to avoid this collection entirely lest its infectious imaginings disturb their mental equilibrium.
Two stars out of five.
— Reviewed by Professor Thaddeus Blackwood, D.D.
Chair of Moral Philosophy, —— College, Oxford
Publisher's Note: Following submission of this review, Prof. Blackwood has taken indefinite leave from his academic duties due to what colleagues describe as "a nervous condition precipitated by extensive research." His physician reports that the professor has developed an unusual fixation on his bedroom wallpaper and insists on sleeping with multiple mirrors facing the wall."
