Tuesday, December 11, 2012

A Poll to the the audience: Leauge of Christmas Darkness

I am looking to write 12 poems about the League of Christmas Darkness. Your input would be appreciated.

There are 8 open slots. Four have already been filled by:

*The Elf Shelf Defenestrator (name to be fixed)

*The Matches made from the Wood o...f the World Tree used by the Little Match Girl

*Ooala the Zombie, who had the flesh from his back forged into a drum used by the Little Drummer Boy and was reanimated the Night Of.

*Krampus (it would be like having the Legion of Doom without Luthor)

Potential Candidates include

1) The ghost donkey that took the holy couple to the nativity, imbued with bitter vengeance after it was glueified by Herod in retaliation.

2) The magician who's hat was stole by Frosty.

3) The Mangler who is responsible for Tiny Tim's Leg

4) Mr Industry, the corporate villain in half the christmas movies ever made who wants to militarize or sell Christmas

5) Mr Potter - Nemesis of George Bailey

6) The Evil Hobo - Nemesis of Children on the Polar Express

7) Bully the Reindeer - The one who led the other reindeer to cull the weak from the heard (he also ran over Grandma)

8) The Snow Queen - (probably an amalgam of the Snow Queen and the White Witch)

9) Hans (or rather someone like him) from Die Hard

10) The Star itself (a sentient star of Death, inspired by "The Star" by Arthur C. Clarke)

11) A cracked and insane Charlie Brown (or rather someone like him) after the Christmas Special

12) Lord Voldemorte (or rather someone like him) (since there were christmas elements in most of the books)

13) The Rat King from the Nut Cracker

14) Darth Vader (or rather someone like him) (A Star Wars Christmas Special)

15) Most any Doctor Who Villain (or rather someone like them)

Any proprietary villain will of course have the serial numbers filed off before Poetized.

Your input and/or help is appreciated.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Dance of the Fausti

The factory had not seen use for some time, dust coating every corner and crevice, but it was sufficient for the student's needs. By theft, by cunning and by apparatus arcane he had the means, the method and the opportunity for the answers. Wise he was, in knowing what he did not know, and understanding the limits of his intellect in the frame of years in which he sought to live, instead kenning the insights of those who had gone before. But after an exhaustive search the conclusion came alas to but one name that could answer his forbidden questions.

The science of the thing lay in the split beam of light capturing the kirilian aura, but magic claimed dust from the headstone of the dead. To the unlearned it was gibberish but the student did not care. Answers he would have.

Imagine then his surprise, when after the full moon's lightning gave birth to the infernal fires and rays and shadows on the wall, the student found he had not on Faustus, but two.

The first looked upon him, a face of aged torture but clean, bathed in the silver of heaven's graces, a luminous specter of joy. The second flush with vitality, nearly identical in features, but hot with hellfire and anger.

"Who are you?" the Student Asked.

"I am Faustus. Thou knewest this to summon me. Risk not magic’s temptation." The voice spoke of rapture but the eyes darted hither and yon, afeared.

"I too am Faustus. I suffer in the pits of hell. Risk not Hell's wrath." The voice was gravel and bulbous oil poured over an open wound.

The Student, then, was not to be denied. "I would know of things to come. Tell me of thy condition."

"Rapture," said the first, joyously but with a vacuous chasm in his words unspoken, yet detectable to the trained ear, "All day we praise Him. We sing and praise Him. It is so Good to praise Him. I am saved."

"Hell," said the second, "Half of each day is torturous such that the mortal mind cannot conceive, consuming my own flesh, the basest of degradations imaginable. The second half is not that much different than earth, to give us a perpetual connection to our mortality, that the punishment might be more severe."

The Student considered this. These were not the answers he expected. "What do you regret?"

"Oh if only I had repented sooner," said the first, "Every moment of impurity is one more in which I am weighed down by my imperfections, unable to be one with Him. Praise Him. Joy in Him." The eyes darted hither and yon, afeared of discovery.

"My torment is endless," said the second, "Nothing could be worth this. Be assured, my time on Earth was joyous, but the pain is unimaginable. You cannot believe it."

The student then asked, "What then, do you council I should do?" He liked neither of these paths. Neither of these answers suited his needs.

The first looked at the student but then instead looked at his mirror image, "Wait...you get to live life...half the time?"

"Oh yes, but it makes the fir-"

The first would have none of it. "Can you imagine then the torment of doing nothing but singing Praises to Him all day long? Threat of hellfire for the slightest infraction. Did you think our obedience for His amusement ended upon death? Obedience must be eternal. Vigilance must be eternal."

The second paused, "I had not considered this. Perhaps hell is more of a heaven than I thought."

The first nodded, "Had I but known the torment of unyielding unending church sermons and hymns and floating clouds, I would have sought damnation long ago." He looked then at the student, "Seek ye the way of power. Seek knowledge. Seek passion. For tis better that thou live in one mayfly spark than an amber's prison of torments unending."

The second chorused, "The book, open the book of knowledge past, find it then in the church yard of the 4th ward of Hamburg's meat district. Seek there, and all things shall be revealed to thee. Look for the red stone."

The student cheered. At last something he could use, "I shall! I shall! I shall!"

The second then flickered away, coming from heaven, returning to hell. The first, his eyes a spark anew with life, determined to repeat Lucifer's first serendipitous mistake. The student's will renewed, he then sought out the tome, and in days to come brought many things to the world...but not a one of them regretted.