Thursday, April 30, 2015

[Script] Tossing Grenades at Windmills - Page 75

CHAINSAW FRED
I can’t believe I’m asking this…but what about Frank? 

The Wizard
Ah yes, Frank-well, I thought long and hard about this, but I think I finally choose the perfect thing.

The Wizard gives Frank a fortune cookie.

GRENADEMAN
IS THIS A SUPER SECRET NINJA FORTUNE COOKIE? 

The Wizard
No, it is, I think a moment of clarity. Open it when you are at your darkest hour and read it. I think you’ll like the results. 

GRENADEMAN
OF COURSE CITIZEN WIZARD. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE IN FIGHTING THE FORCES OF EVIL. 

Inoria
Alright…all we need to find now is a
(interrupted)
 
Mr. Wizard and Wizard pull out a thick plush carpet 

Inoria
Right. Scruff people…scruff like you have never scruffed before! 

The four heroes proceed to scruff across the carpet, turning Frank’s cape inside out as they grab a hold of it. The lights flash again and the four vanish. 

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

[Script] Tossing Grenades at Windmills - Page 74

Inoria
Of course! Why didn’t I think of that? 

Hawkqueen
And how exactly do we reverse the polarity on a CAPE? 

Mr. Wizard
Turn it inside out and then walk across a very thick plush carpet. The resulting static electricity should be sufficient to send you back to your home destination.

Wizard
But before you do, I have something for each of you. For you Fred, some more gasoline for your chainsaw, because you’ve been using it constantly for half the movie now, and continuity demands that you fill it up. For you Hawkqueen, here are your hawks. I snookered them from Thorne, and I think you’ll really need them in the final battle. For you Inoria, I have a book. 

Inoria
Tell Me Why? 

The Wizard
It has the answers to hundreds of questions in a simple to easy read format. 

Inoria
Wow…thanks! 

Hawkqueen
Thank you for getting back my birds! Mephistopheles…Amber…Are you ready to claw the bad man’s eyes out? Yes you are, yes you are sweetums. 

Saturday, April 25, 2015

I Got My Mike Back


Hi All.  T.C. Ricks. I got my mike back and give a few comments on the podcast and my current writing plans.


Check out this episode!

Thursday, April 23, 2015

[Script] Tossing Grenades at Windmills - Page 73

Wizard
Yes, but you chose that title for the
(interrupted) 

CHAINSAW FRED
Just shut up already. Sheesh, it’s pretty obvious he’s the Wizard from the Wizard of Oz. Books people. They’re amazing things.  

Wizard
Yes, that would be me. And I’ve come to help you all. 

Hawkqueen
Well-just how exactly did you get here? 

Wizard
It’s funny you should say that, when I was rising up in the balloon, hoping to head for Kansas…there was a strange willowing wind, and much to my consternation, I ended up here. It’s not so bad though, you get to meet the most interesting people. 

Inoria
Well Mr. Wizard…do you know a way to get us back to our own dimension?
 
Mr. Wizard appears.

Mr. Wizard
He’s not Mr. Wizard. I am. And yes, I know how to get you back to your home dimension. It’s rather simple really. Reverse the polarity on Frank’s cape. It will take you straight to home. 

Preparations

So, I finally have some ideas about where to go w Novel 6 for November and will be starting with a round robin Fairy Tale Jamboree with some friends.  The stories will be creative commons so they will get them too, but I will use them to fashion a prequel and what nay be the seventh novel to spring board into just who or what the divine family is that uses some of the interesting bits I habe cobbled together can do.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

[Script] Tossing Grenades at Windmills - Page 72

CHAINSAW FRED
Who are you? 

The Wizard
I am the Wizard. Perhaps you’ve heard of me. 

GRENADEMAN
THE WIZARD OF SPEED AND TIME? 

The Wizard
No. 

GRENADEMAN
THE WIZARD OF WALL STREET? 

The Wizard
No, the other one. 

GRENADEMAN
THE WIZARD OF DEATH CASTLE? 

The Wizard
You just made that one up. 

GRENADEMAN
I DID NOT. 

The Wizard
Yes, you did. 

GRENADEMAN
I
(interrupted) 

The Wizard
It isn’t very super heroic to lie Frank. 
GRENADEMAN
ER. WELL. PERHAPS, I THE COSMOS, BEING AN INFINITE SERIES OF POSSIBILITIES, THUS CONTAINS THE POSSIBILITY THAT SOMEWHERE THERE MUST BE A WIZARD OF DEATH CASTLE. 

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Grenademan Vs the Zombies Chapter 6 Part 2


Jarvi makes some Snark Zombies and starts to spread the love around.  His Henchwoman does good work.

Note: Continues mid sentance.

Performed by Matt Franklin, Written by T.C. Ricks, Edited by Fiona Skye


Check out this episode!

Thursday, April 16, 2015

[Script] Tossing Grenades at Windmills - Page 71

Hawkqueen
Hmm. On second thought, maybe that was a bad idea.
 
Another major fight ensues. It is a close one, but the heroes manage to defeat the randomly compiled Resident Forces of Evil and reduce them to tiny little bits of meat and shreds.  Chainsaw Fred decapacitates The Evil Elvis Clone. Inoria uses a vial of acid on the Loch Ness Monster. Hawkqueen picks up and throws Frankenstein away and Grenademan gets pummeled by the Wonder Hamster until it accidentally sets off one of the grenades and gets blown away.

Chaos
Congratulations! You win the rest of your miserable little lives, the insignificance and boredom of which will be far more punishment than anything else I could possibly hope to inflict upon you. You may wander as you will.
 
Chaos disappears.

Inoria
Well he does have at least one point… 

HawkQueen
His head? 
Inoria
No, I mean we are wandering as we will. I’m beginning to wonder if we’ll ever get back. We can’t just keep grabbing Frank’s cape and flickering through the universe like some cosmic remote control.

The Wizard appears. 

The Wizard
Perhaps I can help with that. 

Saturday, April 11, 2015

GateKeeper Part 2

Hastur has the unenviable job of acting as gate keeper for the IINS for magical creatures that want to emmigrate to the USA.  Then he gets cursed.

By T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin, Edited by Fiona Skye


Check out this episode!

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 70

Frankenstein, the Lock Ness Monster, Evil Psychotic Elvis Clone and Ralph the Wonder Hamster appear and look very upset. 

CHAINSAW FRED
(to Grenademan)
Remind me to kill you if we survive this. 

GRENADEMAN
AHA! THE FORCES OF EVIL! PREPARE TO BE VANIQUISHED VILE FIENDS! 

Inoria
This is a fascinating collection of random images. I wonder if it has some deeper significance 

Hawkqueen
Inoria, dear, I love you to bits, like a daughter even, but if you try to analyze the artistic meaning of something trying to kill us one more time I really will hurt you. I mean that. 

Inoria
But surely

Hawkqueen tosses Inoria into the approaching crowd of evil. 

Hawkqueen
Here. Take her. 

GRENADEMAN
TALLYHO! 

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Guest Poet

Joshua and John
By Redwin Tursor

In Joshua, God sends his chosen people to kill every person not like them
In John, God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son.
These days, it isnt that hard to see which God is in charge of things
Of course, you can say that you love the sinners
As you hack them to bits for wanting to organize
Just like ISIS does to Christian folk with a machate
But to read the trolls on the internet
There sure are a lot more soldiers of Joshua
Than followers of Christ
So on a day that we celebrate him coming back from the dead
Perhaps we can honor the reverse flying zombie best
By honoring his wishing when he said over and over again
"Look man, I am totally not my father"
Maybe there was a reason for that
Maybe there was a reason he said "just because some jackass does something in my name doesnt mean thet are following me."
Maybe he came back
Not to be with his genocidal followers or his killer dad
Happy birthday Jesus
Hope you are enjoying Boulder or Asheville

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Grenademan Vs The Zombies Chapter 6 Part 1


Jarvi makes some Snark Zombies and starts to spread the love around.  His Henchwoman does good work.

Performed by Matt Franklin, Written by T.C. Ricks, Edited by Fiona Skye


Check out this episode!

Thursday, April 2, 2015

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 69

GRENADEMAN
IT IS A FAR FAR BETTER THING THAT I HAVE DONE NOW, THAN I HAVE- 

Chainsaw Fred hits Grenademan on the shoulder as they begin to fade from view.

CHAINSAW FRED
Get you own line. 

GRENADEMAN
OW. 

EXT. SEA OF LOST SOCKS – DAY

An island in a sea of socks. A demigod sits at a podium game show style. The heroes fade into view. 

Chaos
Hello, welcome to the Sea of Lost Socks. Where’s that you ask? It’s a hole between dimensions, a place where things go when they haven’t got any other continuum to go to. Who am I? Glad you asked-My name is Chaos. I am a resident demi god bored out of my mind. Why am I answering your questions for you? Because every one asks the same thing. Like the inevitable next question… 

GRENADEMAN
WHERE ARE THE RESIDENT FORCES OF EVIL THAT WE MIGHT SMITE THEM? 

Chaos
Hmm. Actually, no, the question that most people ask is usually something like ‘How did we get here?’ or ‘Can you send me home?’ or the occasional ‘My you are a snazzy dresser, where did you get that fabulous wardrobe’. But I can do Resident Forces of Evil. Meet Frankenstein, the Lock Ness Monster, The Evil Psychotic Elvis Clone and Ralph the Wonder Hamster.