[Poem] Is there any doubt

by Emmit Other

any doubt in your mind at all

That shit Maga and Shit Maga MSM

Would be DEMANDING

Genocide Joe drop out

if he was a convicted Felon

CONVICTED. FELON.

shit Maga are crime fetishists

they call Clinton a felon

When he didnt get convicted

Shit Maga are pieces of Shit

And the shit Maga MSM are pieces of shit

Time for consequences for these pieces of shit

When they rebel

And they will rebel

The Shit Maga MSM that sided with them

And Ultra Shit Maga Media

Need to be shut down

And put in prison

Be quite sure

East Texas

And shit Deznat in LDS Utah

Are making plans

To create state charges

In Kangaroo Courts

Because justice doesnt matter to Shit Maga

Only fascism

And loyalty to the leader

[Poem] The Ever Pushing Dildo of BlueWho

 By Emmit Other

To the Dildo of the Blue Who

(Bluenomattawho no MATTA!)

There is a presumption of obligation

To vote for a man

Who refuses to do

His constitutional duty

His moral duty

His ethical duty

And fight fascism

And honor treaties and laws

Preventing war crimes and genocide

No no to the Bluewho

The dildo is worn by them

Used on me

Not by me

Used on them

But the prisoners delima

Of Biden or Trump

Comes from the 1789 Constitution

Which I do not approve of

Did not ratify

Do not accept as legimate

And does not bind me

To vote for the lesser evil

That stands by 

And refuses to use the power it has

To remove the Greater evil.

[Poem] Every Time Your Silence Me

by Emmit Other

Every time you 

and your little friends

Silence me

You empower me

You think this empty words

But you never stopped me

You just.made less people see what I say

But how many times

Have you and people like you

Kept having to do it

you think it is just you

flowing w the system

And instead

You have shown me

Ths system is rotten to the core

and focused my mind like a laser

on how to overturn it

Faster

and without that system

Who and what you are

Is public 

local jurisdictions will go away

capitalism and the worship theroef

gone

corporate tech bros to seduce to your insanity

nationalized

you think your side is winning

but

if it was winning

you wiuldnt hwve to silence me

or shout so loud

you dont need to hear the flames

circoling around the bandstand

as you celebrate a victory

you camt earn

without blood and theft

indeed

I wish you success

I wakt you to see

What Ametica is really like

To people who take her freedom

I wont lift a finger

i will just witness

and watch

i see

what you cannot

amd will never again warn you abiut it

pearls

before

swine

[Poem] A Mothers Love

by Emmit Other

She was a catalyst

The changer of games

She was a porn star

But she changed her frames

Acteess and advocate

She set the story

But then tragedy struck

And became the quary

Her son was "cursed"

W a Spectrum Autistic

And she blamed vaccines

And called them sadistic

So the movement against science began

From a tiny fringe

To a master plan

Of soccer moms and moms for liberty

To kill their kids

On a false lie of sophistry

Hundreds to thousands

Have died on their lie

But she loved her son

So she had to try

A mothers love is a powerful thing

The sociopaths know that

And their noses can ring

Using ther passion

to funace their lies

Thus love can turn toxic

And society dies

[Poem] Atlas Laughed

 by Emmit Other

I have a foe in libertarians

As a Neutral Good person

When you go too chaotic

When you enrich the individual

At the expense of every other individual

You go too far

But the honorable enemy

Is the one who knows

There are lines you shall not cross

Aiding a virus

Aiding a foe in a war

Aiding a foe in a cold war

Aiding Fascism

Libertarians and I dont always get along

Especially about the lying

But Libertarians are someone 

I can share a country with

I can't say the same

About

Most

Republicans

[Poem] Mr Bank's March

 by Emmit Other

The solo midnight scene 

Of Mr Banks slowly realizing the truth

Deep down

That Capitalism is terrible

Money isn't everything

That he thought he was doing the right thing

Only to learn that the world turned upside down

Was my life 

From the age of 14

To age 39

Literally 25 years

Of trying to do the right thing

With my head up my butt

Because I had faith 

In other institutions

Instead of myself

And what I saw around me

But

I got better

And have rushed to make up time

And have lived 5 lives in 13 years

But you can't ever get it back

But you can say

Supercalifraglisticexpialidocious

[Poem] Shattered Dreams

by Emmit Other

It may seem I take my former faith lightly

I died

A great hope within me died

The knowledge that had been bright as the sun

Turned black as night

No middle ground

You dont have to believe I could move mountains

But I did

Knew it

Literally KNEW it

Annd the bedrock center of my universe

The root of ky prsent then faith

Became sand

I did die a spiritual death

And I know the hell of knowing the truth

But worse?

Knowing what I know and knew

And doing it by half measures

Justifying the unjustifiable

Excusing the unexcusable

To anyone not Maga

I would not wish that on my worst enemy

Maga can but 

[Poem] A Fully Armed Battalion

by Emmit Other

China is shadowboxing Taiwan

Surrounding it on all sides

It has the largest army on earth

The second largest navy

It is approaching technical parity

And yet

Why do I feel it is acting

Like the Chijuajua in Looney Tunes

That acts tough

And as a henchman for bigger dogs

Why does a supposed super power

Act like Lichtenstein on Crack?

Nothing says Stable and Responsible 

Sane and Dependinle

Like Pooping in their hands

And flinging it at Taiwan

Because they didnt like a speech

[Poem] The Benefit of The Doubt

by Emmit Other

Comes a point

where benevolence is no longer the default

Comes a point

Where innocents are abused and threatned

Comes a point

Where you arent gonna sit there

In a rigged system

From a rigged abusive abuser

Wbo abused you

Who you no longer need to defer to

Comes a point

Where maintaining good relations

Isnt required anymore

Especially

Whem everything you ever said you cared about

Is a lie

Actions speak louder than words

And baby?

You take the literal fucking cake

[Poem] 30 years and 30000

by Emmit Other

A member of the LDS faith

Might say

I have no business discussing LDS Matters

I beg to differ

Until the LDS church gives me back

The first 30 years of my life

And 30000 in tithing money

I spent

Based on lies told to me

By everyone I ever cared about

Who say they love me

But who do not like me

Who spread calumny because

I speak truth to power

Samuel the Lamanite

In the LDS Book of Mormon

Condemned the evil of Zarahemla

And no record was made of his name

Christ hinself 

In the Book Of mormon

Admonished Nephi Of the time

For not recording the words

They knew to be true

Was it because

they didnt like what he said

About most of their zarahelma church?

Maga is poison

And failure to call it out

Means having a prophet is pointless

So I Do 

What Russle M Nelson

Should be

And

Isnt

[Oem] The Looking Glass of Poop

by Emmit Other

I cannot help

But watch with fascination

And joy

As every single Reublican betrays their principals

Every national republican

Ha s condned Trump

But for Abortion and Lower Taxes

They swallow their tounges

And pretend that they never said anything

Trump didnt forget

Maga will never forget

When he 

Or his delegated heir

Becomes President

Maga will show

EVERYONE

EVERYONE 

EVERYONE!!!!

Who didnt praise Trump from the start

The kind of justice

They wanna give

To Protesters

To "Illegal" Immigrants

To Academics

And I will laugh

As I watch from another country

Because I have loved ones

Who will do it to other loved ones

And it will be a black comedy

But I will have warmed them

And provided offer of safe haven

And been ignored

You cant fix stupid

I no longer even try

[Poetry] I Nuke You

 By Emmit Other

I stubbed my toe and I is mad

I nuke you! I nuke you!

Putins nuky threshold very sad

I nuke you! I nuke you!

Stub his toe

Drop a nuke

Just a bad day?

Drop a nuke

Something didnt go his way?

Drop a nuke, 

Drop a nuke,

Why do we care bout anything you say?

Cause he got nukes

Prince Polonium is very cray

I nuke you! I nuke you!

Maybe he will die some day

i nuke you! It not true

i steal scythe from death himself

And hide with santa as an Elf

 I stubbed my toe and I is mad

I nuke you! I nuke you!

Putins nuky threshold very sad

I nuke you! I nuke you!

[Mastodon] I have two new instances

 @HarbingerOfSalem@kolektiva.social for my comments on Political and Economic Inequity, Anti Capitalism, and Politics in general including a focus on local Salem issues

@RhombusTicks@tech.lbgt For my tech, futurism, anti Big Tech and Author account.  My poetry will also go here 9 times out of 10.

Update: As of 9/23/2024 these are both gone.

[Mastodon]

They believe that their case is so justified that half their links are genocide related and they dont care about me moving to another instance but shut down my account rather than warning (and letting me move) while also locking my password until i called them out personally

Yeah believable

[Poem] Ship of Theseus

by Emmit Other

The LDS god wiped the memory

of all of us who lived with him before

Per LDS belief

An ancient greek philosopher

asked a question

which matters 

The question was this

If you replaced the planks of a ship one plank at a time

When would it not be you any more?

if we are in a divine simulation

but your memories are taken

then the test is about your spirits nature

rather than your mind

Which explains why rational thought doesn't matter

in the lds religion

because God isn't testing what you learn here

so much as testing your faith and intuition

Conveniently

That means any rational observable test

Like if God has a prophet

Why doesn't that Prophet condemn obvious evil

Its because God is not interested in the choices we make

Oh wait

Unless he is

Choose ye this day

The Glory of God is Intelligence

The descriptions of the mormon afterlives are described by choices

Oh and

If a God is all powerful

How do we know we are real

and not in a simulation of a saved lds member

Relieving their past lives

You see how crazy it gets

the point is

If your choices matter

then You deserve to evaluate Gods behavior

And the behavior of those who speak for him

And if an antichrist draws huge numbers

Of supposedly elect

And the Prophet says or does nothing

Except vague platitudes worthy of my daily horoscope

Either God is unworthy

Or the Prophet is false

If your choices dont matter

Then don't worry about it

because to God your choices dont matter

Wait not like that LDS apologists dither

But you either matter

or you don't

You can choose to use judgment

or you don't

The prophet is committing evil actions

Daily

By omission

You are responsible for your choices

And if you choose maga and evil

Then live with that choice

[Poem] Minister Down

 By Emmit Other

The Putin pal PM of Slovokia got shot

We dont know much

But I suspect

It had something to do

With him passing a law recently

Giving bis party full control

Of the media

Like Orban

Every Trumpy Putin wanna be

Attacks and controls the media

First

in America

we are lucky

That people havent figured out

The cops work for trump 

windowfucker mayors work for nihilionares

Biden is ineffective

Trump may win outright

And if he doesnt

He will cheat cheat cheat to win

We are lucky

That people dont see what I see

Because I have someone who isnt violent to protect

I have reason not to act on my knowledge

But as others start to see

maga means to put them in camps

and enslave them and kill them

And nothing to lose

Of which

There are millions in this country

That equation

Can

And will

Change.

[poem] I claim

 By Emmit Other

If you are gonna put 

A rapey slaver colonizer

In your holy scripture

You invite

Imperialism rules

So since the entire lds faith

Has spiritual small pox right now

Paralyzed and depowered by hypocrisy

Except a few members w real charity and faith

i claim the hollow faith

Of the diseased

In the name

Of the Flying Spagetti Monster

Planting his noodly flag

On its desiccated spiritual corpse

[Poem] Noonday Sun

 By Emmit Other

The LDS church

Is Christian

And does the 10 commands 

Like anyone else

Thou shalt have no other gods before me

Cults in a cult

Are forbidden

To deny the holy ghost

After you have felt it

Is blasphemy

And to deny

The sun at noon

i felt it when I prayed

And dont even acknowledge

The mormon god anymore

as someone

i respect

so when maga syncophants

Line up

Row after row

To say 

They are not in a cult

i wonder

Does Deznat Maga

Actually have testimonies

Or just say they do

Because everyone else did

In church on sunday

The lds profit

Isnt calling out this threat 

To the LDS church

And the LDS god

And the LDS holy 1789 constitution

And they likely think it is God

Holding his tounge

Like the end times in the Book of Chloroform in Print

Funny thing though

god only did that when 99.9 percent of the church

was no longer Christian

so if non deznat are believing that

They know their church is already gone

And the LDS Profit

Isnt

[Poem] Whip It

 by Emmit Other

On my Mission for the false LDS church

I grew to love the White Christ

And in hindsight still love the Historical one

But nothing speaks louder 

Of the irreconcilable differences

Between Maga  and the Just

Then what we mean when we quote scripture

"But many shall do good works in my name

But Are Devils."

To a Maga

This is librul babi killurs

Whose wannu takes our constitushun

Our precious,

Gollum, Gollum"

To the Just

We take one look at Donald Trump

And is there ANY doubt in your mind

That the Historical Christ would grab a whip

And go to town on Maga?

That the Deznat members of the LDS church

Would check a box "Yes"

If the LDS Profit asked

"Should we hold a Maga Rally on Temple Grounds?"

Whose side are you on?

But as for me and my house

We dont stand with LDS White Satan

[Poem] Call me Crazy

 By Emmit Other

But I am over trying to be nice

I consistently find myself

Five to ten years

Ahead of everyone else

Call me Prophet

Or just call me well informed

But at this point

When they say

They wanna deport American Citizens protesting Israel

To Gaza

I say

Send Maga to Russia

When they say

We are pedos and not patriots

I say

Put them in prison 

When they say

Freedom of Speech

But say any media left of the New York Slimes

Is lying traitors

Then I say

Shut down any conservative media

I am tired 

Tired

TIRED

Of Centrists saying both sides are the same

There are two evils in this country

Maga

And both siders

Its a matter of when

Not if

Before Maga turns full shooting traitor

And America is not kind

To those

Who try to destroy her

Just because real Americans

Dont categorize anyone they dont disagree with

As unamerican

Doesnt mean

They wont act like Americans during the 1950s and Communists

Are you now

Or have you ever been

A member of the Maga Party?

[Poem] 100 Hours

by Emmit Other

Ammosexuals think symbols of death

Are power

They believe that if they collect guns

like Cargo Cult primitives

or a magpie hoarding beads

they Aquire power by proxy

its sad

And pathetic

There are five times as many guns

in Amerca

than people

If the Ammosexuals start somethin

For a while they will be scary

and then the most viplent culture on Earth

After a few days

Will get guns

and learn to shoot

take 100 hours to learn a gun

A few weeks

the Ammosexuals 

are Pathetic

and Wrong

and this year

may be the year

They get it shown to their face

Fuck around

and find out

[Poem] Anyone can be a Nazi

 By Emmit Other

Its a simple recipe to make a Nazi

Start with lies

The natural bane of the Nazi

Is Truth

Thats why they always silence reporters

Then bring to a slow boil

And add hate

Nazis always hate the most vulnerable in society

They attack the weakest among them

The other

Young or old or other

Doesnt matter

To a a Nazi

But hate is not enough

For Nazis need a leader

Someone to inspire them

someone to rally around

someone to tell them they are better

chosen

That they are the victims

That all their problems are

The other

The Leader is the only solution

slippery slopers 

(Who should be pushed down that slope)

Say nazi doesnt mean anything any more

I know six million reasons

This is a lie

But I bet I could find

At least some shades in that army of pain

Wbo would recognize familiar patterns

All over the world

In most nations

As they form alliances with each other

Little nazi cancer clusfers

Any culture can brew them

A thousand flavors of nazi

but the dofference between sparkling fascism

And genuine nazis is the final ingredient

technofascism

A fetish for murder on an industrial scale

Ammosexuality

And mechanized murder by factory

Carpet bomb the enemy to pulp

You show me a nation that seems to get

Sexual gratification in dropping bombs on hospitals

And I will show you

Someone nazis would buy a beer for

Until they asked 

Where you are from

Perhaps

Status Update

 My tiktok account was banned, and given Sundar Puchai's recent behavior I no longer trust my content on google.  In case you havent noticed, the world is on fire and Sundar Puchai is on the side of rapey tech bros who wanna help murdercops and fascists burn down civilization and replace it with neofuedal techbro edgelords.

If you wonder where I side on the theocracy issue, I side (and always have and always will) with the oppressed but I dont want my final account banned.

I need to make an entirely separate website hosted outside the US, a separate mastodon instance and move my youtube to peertube.  All if this is gonna take time and money.

Watch this space.

[Poem] A dying light on a short hill

 By Emmit Other

If you are willing to imagine

A god that loves us all as children

And has nazi like requirements of suffering to save you

Who has one chosen people

Who he finally gives up on

And waits 1700 years

Before bothering again

Who warns again and again of an Antichrist

and that the do nothing profit of the LDS church

has a direct line to this nasty God 

That loves you

And the nasty god

Has no problem with the "elites"

Not just in this world or time

But elite among all the stars in the sky

one floating orb

The final battle

where most of the antichrist fans

believe in and will vote for

the constitution hating lying adulterer

Then I would say

Any god who lets "his people"

Worship the Golden Orange Calf

Is a faint pathetic simp

That I would punch in the face on resurrection

I will not be judged

By a filth god who allows an antichrist

Neither in this life 

By his limp dick lying hypocrite fans

Or in any life to come

[Poem] The IPP

 By Emmit Other

Ever wonder what BJP stand for?

It stands for pee

IPP 

Indian Peoples Party

I pee pee

The bravest party ever

Hates democracy

Dont believe me?

Their party color is yellow

They locked up the funds

Of their opponents

And  the hellacious Indian Pee media

Agrees

Just like Russia and China and Hungary

India is a "democracy"

Whose party color

Is the color of pee

[poem] BJP stands for IPP

 By Emmit Other

I am in chaos

Right now right now

But i had to comment on this

"BJP passes controversial citizenship law"

Did you know

Gentle reader that BJP

Translated

(i looked it up)

Is India Peoples party

Which stands for IPP

4 year old humor

I has made a peepee

But conservatism is always stupid

Always evil

And to say that they represent 

The people of India

While excluding its second largest religion

Leaves their dick hanging out

Swinging in the wing

A few drops of pee

Yellow modi gold

Dangling off the tip

BJP stands

For Pee.

The Program on Netflix

 Thats the LDS church but more subtle amd slow.

I still hear the conditioning in my head every day

"Happy to do the will of god"

"God hates sinners, sinners go to hell"

"kill yourself, oh wait you cant die because tha tmakes it worse"

"We hate Rhombus, we hate Rhombus" sung to a childrens nursery rhyme

Tell me again bow important freedom of religion is

Plagarism

"I have just beem informed that that asshole  Rhombus Ticks has beem plaguarizing mot work on Poetizer...minsult him as often as possible." Emmit Other

"I have just been informed that asshole, Emmit Other has been plagaurizing my work on Pietizer.  Insult me as often as Possible." Rhombus Ticks

[Poem Enigma Farr

Enigma Fart

[Poem] Bleep Christmas

We live in a time of too much bleep

And we wake this morining and unwrap our bleep

Despite the raging bleep

I choke down some bleep and bleep it away.

So I stumble downstairs for some eggnog

And add the special bleep sauce

And the bleep finally goes away too

Then I look at my terrified families eyes

As they saw me dreal with the bleep and the bleep

"Well enjoy the bleep show you bleeping vleeps!"

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - The End

Someone thought a Banana Peel

On the roof

Was

Funny

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

The smell didnt really take 

Until April Fools

Thanks to Christmas Magic

They found a dead collocated Santa

In Over a Million Homes

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Oops.

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - The Horn of Christmas Valere

Ghosts of Christmas Present

Live during the day

They start out vibrant and healthful

And end up salt and pepper Gray

One day is all they get

Spending their whole magic to induce Christmas wonder

They die content

Their essence spent

Then their being is torn Christmas Asunder

So I sent the Far Knight

On quite the Quest

As far and as wide as the Blue Rook Could Go

To Find The Horn of Christmas Valere

And bring it to Terra to Blow

Like the Wheel of Time

It summons the dead

But it brings not the Heroes of the Horn

Instead my friends

It allows Christmas Amends

From the Christmas Ghosts that had been Torn

Now on Christmas Eve Eve

They have a rock tockin good time

To counter the grouches of Festivus

I love that grouch day

But today Good Cheer is the way

In a mass joygasm Christmas jam most sublime.

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Liminal Christmas

Christmas is now

Christmas is now

Christmas is now

The Family Guy episode

Where he slams the door

On the modern Mary and Joseph is all true

Be generous

Be kind

Be courageous

Now is the time

Now is always the time

To wake up

And be better.

In the ancient past

Perceiving spiritual beings was the first skill we learned

Channeling was the second

The play's the thing

The Greeks were not the only culture

To believe in the sacred fury of this ritual

Actors channel the spirit of that which they become

Gods or otherwise

Let us channel Christmas all our lives

The spirit of intelligent pragmatic courageous generosity

Feel the Christmas Force flow within you

It binds all Christmas things together

It both guides your actions

And responds to your commands

Be one with the Tinsel.

Christmas is now.

Christmas is living.

Christmas is Loving.

Every culture and tradition

Has some kind of holiday this time of year.

Be kind.

Rewind.

Wait...

Thats Blockbuster

Be kind.

Just do it.

Wait...

Be all that you can be.

Wait...

Be kind.

Dont be a fucking jerk.

Thats it.

Be kind.

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Christmas Future Tense

What does the Ghost of Christmas Future fear?

As we drift into the corridors of possible tomorrows

We see empty hallways of silent doom

Whole wings and branches of Humanity's future lie silent

For a being who stretches into every possible future

Well...

Every possible future Christmas

There are thousands upon millions

More every day

Of silent Christmases

You cannot Scrooge the Dead

You cannot give more chances

When there are no more Christmases to give

No spirit is all powerful

No matter what the religious say

Every supernatural being has rules that limit them

Without exception

And to terrify and redeem

There must be some redemption to be had

And the Drunk Conductors of Humanity

Want to either decrease the surplus population

With sex clones and robot Butlers

Or increase the population until we are kept Rabbits

But this is Christmas

So we hired Diego Del Fuego's Time Traveling Mariachi Band

To show up once a Christmas in every possible future

Throwing a Christmas Party for the poor dude

Any lingering supernatural beings are invited

Flickering out like stars in the sky

As even the ghosts fade and move on

And the uplifted bears and raccoons cant sustain belief

In worlds where heat death kills everything 

Except Cockroaches Bacteria and Self Breeding Twinkies

So for a few thousand years its a Christmas Jamboree

Gods and Fairies and Santa do egg nog

With the Easter Bunny and Skeleton Jack

But eventually

Its just the Ghost of Christmas Future and Death

And of course Emmit Other

Making Morbid Poems

Until eventually 

Its just Death and an empty tear stained robe

No one left to Scrooge

No one left

Except Death

Who turns the lights out 

Until the Cockroach Men and Ant Men War

Millions of Years Later  

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Elfloaf

Nice Elf You have there.

Nice Meatloaf you have there.

Two birds.

One stone.

Snitches get stitches.

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Christmas Looking Glass

Through the looking glass

Christmas is Yellow and Purple

And everyone gives presents to Santa

The more you give

The more you get

Give a toy

Get a toy

Give an eye

Get a third eye

Give your brother

Get a sister

Elves come from somewhere after all

Santa was a gingerbread man

With all the souls he consumed

So jolly and huge

The hatter and the hare and the Cheshire Cat

All avoid him like the plague

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Mupplet Chrismas

December 11 1992

Was the day a Muppet Christmas Carol premiered

A work of wonder care and compassion

But it was more than that

Jim Henson is and was the personification

Of everything Dickens enshrined in A Christmas Carol

Kind  wise and shrewd 

He lived every day of his life as if it were Christmas

But on mAy 16, 1990

That candle was snuffed early and tragically

Many felt that it was the end of the Muppets

Disney had bought them

But it was always with the intent Jim keep on

Brian Henson picked up the torch

And voiced the small green Frog

This movie is proof that Henson's dream lived on

Characters that have lived and loved since

The single most touching moment

In one of the most touching movies of all time

Is when Kermit and Tiny Tim

Scat together with Tim on his shoulder

Walking home the first time

And you see 

What Brian and his father had.

This movie is Christmas

In more ways than one.

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Ed Who

You didn't see it in the book

You didn't see it in the movie

Not even the video game

(Please dont ask)

But one Who was  not smiling 

When he changed bis ways

Made one who was watching

For the rest of their days

For any backsliding

Any at all

And then Edward Who

Would be there for their fall

You see for Ed that Christmas

Was not about something more

But a train you bought at the store

The Markleblat 9000 was shiny and neat

With every accessory it ran twenty feet

Ed knew what that green meanie had done

So when it was legal he purchased  a gun

The cheapest place beyond  the North pole

And Ed didnt care for nice or for coal

He waited at night by bis chimney patrol

Waiting to blow the Grinch away

When the Green ex Grouch passed

(For non but Elves and Robots last)

He stood over the ground an extra six days

Just to make sure he stayed that way

Then at last at last at last

He played with his trains in peace.

The lesson my friend is as simple at this

Learn to forgive or goodbye your life kiss.

Merry Christmas to All

And to all a good night

In spite of this poem

And verbal word blight.

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Did He Really

Jingle Bells

Batman Smells

Batmobile List a wheel

And Joker Got Away

.....Did he?

Did he really?

Or was this all a choreographed plan

So he could find Santa

Get the Magic Bag back

Cut Santa Loose

Ignore Santa's disturbing tent

Vanish into the shadows

Watch the Joker doing bis Christmas Special

Emerge from the shadows right behind him

Cut to technical difficulty

And put the Joker

Back in the Arkham Deck

Where he belongs

Merry Christmas Gotham

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Into the Potterverse

The darkest of timelines didnt stay that way

When Clarence thr Angel broke things apart

A work without George Bailey would break your heart

But a world doesnt stop just because the movie does

And this one shit town became a celebrity cause

The Donny Dont for The US of America

The inspiration for a better Colombia

Everything Potter did was made illegal

Capitalism chained by presidential seal

Sometimes bad things happen for good

But that doesnt mean it ever should.

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Christmas Cocks

Chris Cocks is the CEO of Hasbro

And lives up to his name

Every year the retailer prepares for Christmas

Foie Geasing with Christmas Decorations and Christmas cheer

A fat dumb happy consumer they can plug

The proverbial Christmas goose

But like every gross filth nillionare

Christmas Cocks has killed the goose that laid the golden egg

Reaganizing the economy Black Rock style

Until there is no more gold to give

But still they try

Fracking our pickets with digitized microtsrgetsd ads

A synchronized panorama of stories 

Lazy workers, Quiet Quitting and Covidflation

When it has always been filth nillionares with their hands in our pockets

They take but they do not give

That is a parasitic relationship

There is no nobles oblige with the new robber barons

There is no symbiosis

They lay people off during the very holiday 

During the very height of cheer they hope to exploit

Christmas Cocks already tried to steal my Inglemia

Christmas Cocks tries to ruin the Dnd Ecosphere

Now Christmas Cocks the Cock walks the walk

And joins Amazon and Spotify 

Sipping bitter employee tears in a champaign flute

If you spend money on Amazon or Spotify or Hasbro this year

Especially after you read this

You sre raising a toast in Christmas Cocks' Cock party

Sipping tears and urinating on Santa

Drink up buttercup

Or

Or

Or

Grab a pitchfork and torch

Come and Follow Me.

And kill the Beast of Capitalism.

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Satanic Iowa

Somewhere deep down in the Cornhole State

Whose capital city is Ohio or Colombia or I forget

Where they wont vote for you 

Unless you have a Butter Popsicle or Pork Chop on a stick

(Originally invented to get the dog to play with Ugly Tim)

There is in the real honest to goodness world

A legit wide eyed janitor

Power cleaning the floor with Christmas Carols blaring

Over the State Capital PA

At 3am in the morning

Where he drops bis mop

And stares at the human skull and candles

Put there by the Satanic Temple

Because Christian Nationalists 

Just had to put religious shit 

On the Public Square

These heroes of secularism and satan

Do more to save use from Cnazis than Taylor Swift

So when you drink your eggnog

Raise your glass 

To the poor janitor

Who just sighed

Shook his head

And moved on

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Santa's Blavk Bag [nsfw]

There is naughty

And then there is naughty in a good way

Santa has many bags

Contrary to popular belief

But the black bag in the hidden vault

Is saved for the very special toys

For very special boys and girls

All of which are tested

Year round first on Mrs Clause

And then a veritable elf harem

Where Santa's Little Helper 

Is helped to get gallons and gallons

Of special Christmas frosting

After the normal journey is through

The rubberized reindeer

And the stealth sleigh 

Travel the world

Giving magical sex toys

To those who deserve them

Stopping occasionally

For the right party

That has a lot more to offer Santa

Than milk and cookies

Dont write an x rated lette via USPS

Write it in the dongeon

And give it to your Dungeon Master

And I dont mean

Fireball does 6d6 

If you get

What I mean

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Sugar Ants

Ants kove sugar, OK?

Thats a given but for ecologies to work

Something has to fill vital and oft overlooked rolls

What happens to tru ks dropped in the Candy Cane forest?

Sugar ants

Ants made of sugar and covered in chocolate

They consume sugar

And are  a natural pest in the Elf world

When they swarm whole crops can be lost

Only consumed by the ant eating Penguin

Found only in The North Poll

Bred specifically from South pole stock

They will fuck up your picnic

Man

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Elf Street Knife Fight

Suburbia is what many consider normal

Leave it to Beaver Andy Griffith Audry from Little Shop of Horrors

Civilization Six has the Chutzpah to call

The Neighborhood an Advancement of Civilization

Rather than a Blight and Carbon Killer

But for good or ill

Its most peoples definition

of 

Normal.

Every year Emerald Oaks had a conflict of kitschy

A rumble of the remedial

Where everyone tried to cover ever square foot of their yard

With inflatable Christmas vomit

Keeping up with the Joneses

At night it was undeniably pretty in the electric wonderland

By day it was the Vomitorium of Used Car Dealerships

Cars drove up in huge numbers to see the homes

Carbon slowly killing those fucking elves

Who didnt give me that toy I wanted last year

Die elves die

Anyway...

Until now Old Man Withers had kept to his house

Lights off shades drawn

Not so much Grinch as Misanthrope

But two things changed in 2023

One, Bob Cratcheti, had an easement on his property by an inch

Two  he had to stop taking his meds for his heart

So Mr Withers had a tendency to....

 Take things to extremes

The night before the final day of contest judgement

While everyone else was asleep

He drove a wrecking ball

And destroyed his house

And used his years as a contractor

With some help from some friends

Reading the fine print of the rules in the HOA

The only way to have more Kitsch per square foot

Was to add more to the yard

So his five million dollar home

Was replaced by a Tiny Home

And the rest was the International Clearance Yard of Crap

 He had to redo the electrical junction six times

Planes informed the local airport of the navigation hazard

Santa had to put on sunglasses and nearly crashed

(that fucker....)

Mr Withers Won

And then had his house foreclosed by the HOA

For fine after fine after fine

But he was just fine with that

Because he smashed that damn trophy

Carried from year to year

And sent pieces baked into meatloaf

For all his former neighboors

And sailed into the sunset

Until he got eaten by sharks nine years later

The sharks found him gamey and bitter

Very very bitter.

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Family Ties

Before the pernicious family killer

That was Zuckerfuck Fuckbook

People still found analog ways for family feuds

They still found Christmas

The best time of the year to come together

And invent reasons to hate each other

Oh yes

The magick of Christmas laquers and liquors this friction

But it also super turbines it

I have seen parents rift children

And siblings split in twain

All for some tinsel

And some religious bigots refrain

Heed my warning ye who harken

This a time of year

Where blood can spill with loved ones

More than merry cheer

Take herd my friend

And remember who you love

Else your next Christmas may be alone

Your hopes snuffed out by an assassin's leather glove

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Honorable Ancestors

Do you really think it a coincidence

That the story that started it all

Involved Christmas ghosts?

Before Christmas, before Mithras, before Saturnalia

We saw the stars and marked them

With no mote than sticks and caves and fire

They could still count the days

Notch them and mark them

And celebrate and fear the darkest night

Before all Hallows eve

There was the Darkest Night

And the great unknown of those we only knew

In Song and Story

All the way back

To Mitochondrial Eve

We are all on family

One blood

One tiny world in an infinity of space trapped light

Reach out 

And touch the cheek of those who came

And know you will join them soon enough

Eat Drink and Be Merry

For The Ghost of Christmas Future comes for all

And be remembered for what you have done

Not what might have been

Not what might have been

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Bus Full of Orphans

Seriously?

Pericuolo Narr turned into a human

And saw a bus full of Orphans

That was surrounded on four sides

Dangling on the bridge pinned in

By men with mirrorshades and machine guns

And four plucky idiots with slingshots

Who were holding their own

Six x of the guys with mirror shades

Were acting like  they were on LSD

It was Christmas Eve

Where the fuck were the cops?

It was a slow attention

One of the kids was wounded

In swoops Peri

Obfuscated lile the City Gangrel he is

And he bites one of the mirror shades

And coleslaws two more with celerity

They aim their fire at him

And he turns to mist and obfuscated

They are looking outward now not inward

Peri bides his time

While the mirror shades panic

And the kids use more LSD

Peri attacks again and again

Eventually Peti thinks the coos are coming

Only for a helicopter full of Iteration X cyborgs to swoop in

Seriously?

Then Peri remembers its fucking Christmas Eve

Santa owes him a favor

Peti makes a call

The cyborgs see him 

And can shoot the mist with incendiary rounds

THROUGH THE FUCKING BRIDGE

And he thinks its over

Only like a fucking comet

The mage changeling swoops down from the sky

And a pillar of sunlight

Turns the cyborgs to lightning slag

And strangely doesnt burn him

The mirrorshades flee

And the kids 

Changelings all 

Are talen somewhere safe

Peri

To his eternal amusement is owed another favor 

Turns out there was an arch duke on the bus

A nine year old arch duke

Changelings

Eye toll

[Poem] Dead White Horse Redux

 by Emmit Other

Came a wind and a whisper

Any prophet worth his salt

Would know the time was now

The constitution hung by a thread

The Republicans wer in disarray

The Prophet of the Latter Day saints could have raised his hand

And told the LDS members of the GOP caucus

To side with the Democrats

Save Ukraine

Same America

Change parties

And

They didnt

Not the Prophet

Not Mitt Romney

Not any Romney

Not a one

A family more tied to the political destiny of this nation

Than any other LDS family in history

And not one has saved this country

Not even close

Nor saved the constitution

Not even close

Meanwhile

I hear tell

That the church paid money to a woman

To keep quiet about sexual harassment

You can buy anything in this world

With money

Ask a Saint

Ask any saint

They will tell you

You can buy anything in Satan's world with money

The church sure took that to heart

So heed this prophesy 

And heed it well

For it shall come to pass

No matter which way the winds blow

And the saints shall learn

That those with whom they ally themselves

Those of the Right

Those of the Reich

Those of the Rally

Are not their allies

And that they wish them harm

And that of the saints that serve Maga

Half are loyal to the Prophet

And Half are Loyal to Maga

And when the moment of mistruth comes

And the LDS Prophet does steer the saints

Even a molecule to the left

Blood shall flow

And one saint shall slay another

And neither side shall win

For both are losers

And already lost

And already lost

Forever.

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Festivus

It started as a joke

About an aluminum pole

And then they took that pole

And jammed it the gullet

Of the Tree Virus

That saw Christmas decorations on Labor Day

That saw religious entitled nazis

Think that everyone had to worship as they do

Like silver to werewolves

Aluminum has  become the cross to war Christmas Monsters

It sears their flesh and makes them cringe

It forces them to see the doublethink

That lets them believe in a God wbo is Mercy

Whilst worshipping an Orange Turd Bucket

Its a long month

Very long for those who are offended by religion in general

This oasis of fun in Vomit Green and Blood Red

Is a welcome respite from the storm