[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 68

Grenademan races through the assembled crowd of French People and French Knitting Women and blows up the guillotine, freeing the woman. 

FRENCH PERSON #1

What is this?! 

FRENCH PERSON #2

It is the silly people we saw before! They’re trying to free the prisoners! 

Inoria

Oh crap. 

Hawkqueen

We’d better get back to that cape or we’re toast. 

CHAINSAW FRED

Why didn’t you two help the girl? 

Inoria

It would have –OW! 

A major fight ensues between the French people and our heroes. Grenademan is surprisingly successful, doing well for a change, freeing prisoners who run away. The other three fight with more French people and close in on Grenademan. 

Inoria

This could be very bad for the space-time continuum 

CHAINSAW FRED

(Starting Chainsaw)

Alright, enough of this…. 

Fred cuts a swathe through the French People and assorted psychotic knitting French people and they touch Frank’s Cape. 

Gate Keeper Part I

Hastur has the unenviable job of acting as gate keeper for the IINS for magical creatures that want to emmigrate to the USA.  Then he gets cursed.

By T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin, Edited by Fiona Skye

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[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 67

GRENADEMAN

ER…EXCUSE ME…. 

Inoria

It’s utterly fascinating, why, there could be such a world for every hope and dream ever conceived by mankind…there really could be a Narnia, or a Shangri-La, or a place where trickle down economics really works. 

GRENADEMAN

SOMEONE IS ABOUT TO GUILOTEEN THAT WOMAN OVER THERE…SHOULDN’T WE BE ACTING WELL…SUPERHEROIC, SEING AS HOW WE’RE WELL…YOU KNOW…SUPER HEROES? 

Inoria

Oh no. Any action we take here might affect the cosmic balance of our own dimension. Why, who knows what disturbed dreams that children might be having back in our own world.

Hawkqueen

Those things seemed pretty disturbed as it was without any of our help. 

CHAINSAW FRED

Do you people ALWAYS talk like this? Is there some special school you go to? 

Inoria

Where is Frank? 

GRENADEMAN

TALLYHO!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 66

FRENCH PERSON #2

Madrigras was last week you silly people. 

FRENCH PERSON #1

Perhaps they are simply celebrating the Revolution? 

FRENCH PERSON #2

That must be it. 

Hawkqueen

Where in the HECK are we? 

CHAINSAW FRED

I think the question is more when…somewhere around the time of the French Revolution 

Vengeance

Therese! Who has seen her?

Therese Defarge! 

Inoria

I know that name… 

Knitting French Woman

She never missed before. 

CHAINSAW FRED

Ancient ancestor of yours? 

Hawkqueen

No. It’s the name of one of the characters in Charles Dicken’s novel, “A tale of Two Cities” 

Inoria

No, don’t you understand, somehow we’ve been transported not to another time, but another dimension entirely. I would suspect it a reflection of the collective unconscious. 

Grenademan Vs the Zombies Chapter 5

Written by T.C. Ricks

Read by Matt Franklin

Edited by Fiona Skye

Given the organized response against them, Doc and the Circle seek to gain more recruits in the safest way possible...a science fiction convention.

 

 

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[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 65

Fred, Hawkqueen and Inoria grab Grenademan’s Cape. 

GRENADEMAN

YOU DON’T TUG ON GRENADEMAN’S CAPE. YOU DON’T SPIT IN THE EYE OF THE OLD LONE RANGER AND YOU DON’T MESS AROUND WITH MY CAPE. EMPHASIS ON THE CAPE PART. HINT, THAT’S MY CAPE. 

Fred

So what are we supposed to be doing here? 

GRENADEMAN

MY CAPE PLEASE. 

Inoria

Honestly…I have absolutely no idea, but it makes about as much sense as everything else that’s been going on.

GRENADEMAN

YOU ARE GETTING COOKIE CRUMBS ON MY CAPE. WAIT, SORRY, THAT’S FROM DEAD GINGERBREAD MAN.

Inoria grabs Grenademan’s cape. There is a large flash of light and they all vanish.

EXT. REVOLUTIONARY FRANCE - DAY

The four appear inside a rowdy crowd in revolutionary France. A large guillotine sits to one side. No one immediately pays attention to them.

FRENCH PERSON #1

I hear they are up to thirty seven today! 

FRENCH PERSON #2

That’s nothing. Last week they got rid of two hundred and fourteen. 

FRENCH PERSON #1

Let’s get a good front seat. Last time I could see the veins in his neck still pumping. 

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 64

GRENADEMAN

THE SUPERHEROIC WORK IS A GLORIOUS WORK. 

Inoria

Actually, it’s times like this that I really wonder why I get up in the morning.

 

They blow up the last of the gingerbread men. The Candy Queen cries and runs away.

Hawkqueen

This is almost enough to make me give up chocolate…almost. 

FRED

Right. So how do we get out of here? 

Inoria

That’s a very good question. 

Hawkqueen

You’re supposed to be the technical expert. 

Inoria

Look, I don’t have any idea what was done to us, that doesn’t make it easy to replicate. 

FRED

We know it had something to do with Frank’s cape.  

Hawkqueen

It was of the same formula Thorne was looking for.

Inoria

That’s it. It’s just crazy enough that it might work. Quick, everyone grab hold of his cape…