Guest Poet

Joshua and John
By Redwin Tursor

In Joshua, God sends his chosen people to kill every person not like them
In John, God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son.
These days, it isnt that hard to see which God is in charge of things
Of course, you can say that you love the sinners
As you hack them to bits for wanting to organize
Just like ISIS does to Christian folk with a machate
But to read the trolls on the internet
There sure are a lot more soldiers of Joshua
Than followers of Christ
So on a day that we celebrate him coming back from the dead
Perhaps we can honor the reverse flying zombie best
By honoring his wishing when he said over and over again
"Look man, I am totally not my father"
Maybe there was a reason for that
Maybe there was a reason he said "just because some jackass does something in my name doesnt mean thet are following me."
Maybe he came back
Not to be with his genocidal followers or his killer dad
Happy birthday Jesus
Hope you are enjoying Boulder or Asheville

Grenademan Vs The Zombies Chapter 6 Part 1

Jarvi makes some Snark Zombies and starts to spread the love around.  His Henchwoman does good work.

Performed by Matt Franklin, Written by T.C. Ricks, Edited by Fiona Skye

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 69

GRENADEMAN

IT IS A FAR FAR BETTER THING THAT I HAVE DONE NOW, THAN I HAVE- 

Chainsaw Fred hits Grenademan on the shoulder as they begin to fade from view.

CHAINSAW FRED

Get you own line. 

GRENADEMAN

OW. 

EXT. SEA OF LOST SOCKS – DAY

An island in a sea of socks. A demigod sits at a podium game show style. The heroes fade into view. 

Chaos

Hello, welcome to the Sea of Lost Socks. Where’s that you ask? It’s a hole between dimensions, a place where things go when they haven’t got any other continuum to go to. Who am I? Glad you asked-My name is Chaos. I am a resident demi god bored out of my mind. Why am I answering your questions for you? Because every one asks the same thing. Like the inevitable next question… 

GRENADEMAN

WHERE ARE THE RESIDENT FORCES OF EVIL THAT WE MIGHT SMITE THEM? 

Chaos

Hmm. Actually, no, the question that most people ask is usually something like ‘How did we get here?’ or ‘Can you send me home?’ or the occasional ‘My you are a snazzy dresser, where did you get that fabulous wardrobe’. But I can do Resident Forces of Evil. Meet Frankenstein, the Lock Ness Monster, The Evil Psychotic Elvis Clone and Ralph the Wonder Hamster. 

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 68

Grenademan races through the assembled crowd of French People and French Knitting Women and blows up the guillotine, freeing the woman. 

FRENCH PERSON #1

What is this?! 

FRENCH PERSON #2

It is the silly people we saw before! They’re trying to free the prisoners! 

Inoria

Oh crap. 

Hawkqueen

We’d better get back to that cape or we’re toast. 

CHAINSAW FRED

Why didn’t you two help the girl? 

Inoria

It would have –OW! 

A major fight ensues between the French people and our heroes. Grenademan is surprisingly successful, doing well for a change, freeing prisoners who run away. The other three fight with more French people and close in on Grenademan. 

Inoria

This could be very bad for the space-time continuum 

CHAINSAW FRED

(Starting Chainsaw)

Alright, enough of this…. 

Fred cuts a swathe through the French People and assorted psychotic knitting French people and they touch Frank’s Cape. 

Gate Keeper Part I

Hastur has the unenviable job of acting as gate keeper for the IINS for magical creatures that want to emmigrate to the USA.  Then he gets cursed.

By T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin, Edited by Fiona Skye

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 67

GRENADEMAN

ER…EXCUSE ME…. 

Inoria

It’s utterly fascinating, why, there could be such a world for every hope and dream ever conceived by mankind…there really could be a Narnia, or a Shangri-La, or a place where trickle down economics really works. 

GRENADEMAN

SOMEONE IS ABOUT TO GUILOTEEN THAT WOMAN OVER THERE…SHOULDN’T WE BE ACTING WELL…SUPERHEROIC, SEING AS HOW WE’RE WELL…YOU KNOW…SUPER HEROES? 

Inoria

Oh no. Any action we take here might affect the cosmic balance of our own dimension. Why, who knows what disturbed dreams that children might be having back in our own world.

Hawkqueen

Those things seemed pretty disturbed as it was without any of our help. 

CHAINSAW FRED

Do you people ALWAYS talk like this? Is there some special school you go to? 

Inoria

Where is Frank? 

GRENADEMAN

TALLYHO!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 66

FRENCH PERSON #2

Madrigras was last week you silly people. 

FRENCH PERSON #1

Perhaps they are simply celebrating the Revolution? 

FRENCH PERSON #2

That must be it. 

Hawkqueen

Where in the HECK are we? 

CHAINSAW FRED

I think the question is more when…somewhere around the time of the French Revolution 

Vengeance

Therese! Who has seen her?

Therese Defarge! 

Inoria

I know that name… 

Knitting French Woman

She never missed before. 

CHAINSAW FRED

Ancient ancestor of yours? 

Hawkqueen

No. It’s the name of one of the characters in Charles Dicken’s novel, “A tale of Two Cities” 

Inoria

No, don’t you understand, somehow we’ve been transported not to another time, but another dimension entirely. I would suspect it a reflection of the collective unconscious.