[Writer Stuff[ Interesting Article from Ma

Writing tips for non editors here

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Use spell check
Don't say weird stuff
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youreyalltheretheirthey're
antidestablishmentarianismsupercalifragilisticexpelialadocious.

And now.

Hamster Olympics.

[Heliotrope] Madam Glitterbell's

When one considers that fairy tales are not only spread among the human population, but others as well, then there can be unforeseen consequences.   For example, the tale of the little mermaid was a cautionary tale for mermaids in Outer Fairy until about twenty years ago when some disney dvd's began to leak through Terra.  Not every Earth story leaks over, but the ones that do cause...interesting effects.

It should be noted that Madam Glitterbell's has existed for over twenty centuries, serving Roman Legionaires at the time of Ceasar.  Madam Glitterball is not just a brothel.  Madam Glitterbell is an institution.  Rumor has it that she is half fairy, but no one dares ask what the other half is.  She certainly LOOKS human but seems to be effectively immortal.  The resort exists in the legendary city of Stays In, by the Desert by the Sea.  It has ...well, according to rumor, if you have a Slot A, they have a Tab B.

When Blixie the Mermaid, daughter of the Duke of Baja, saw the DVD of the little mermaid, she was determined to get a prince.  She was convinced that her natural magic would let her get legs, and while this was technically true, it also did not get rid of the pervasive smell of fish.  Fish breath. Fish hair.  And it only got worse as she stayed on land.  Attempting to douse herself in sea water would not help and perfumes were few and far between.

After several months of this, her gold ran out and she desperately returned home, only to find that her father had disowned her.  There are few options for a royal mermaid tainted with the scent of human; and without the magic to remove the smell, there were few that would have her.  Madam Glitterbell was one who would.

Blixie was reluctant to provide these exotic services at first, but when combined with her services as a night singer, she continued to say long after she had successfully paid for the Periapt Against Omega 3.

[Script] Revolution Number Eight - Page 6

Scene: The four musicians and the intern sit in the room talking.

Paul
No manual for this I'm afraid.   We're just making it up as we go along.

John
Yup.  Day by day.  It's seriously not good.

Intern Adams
What are you doing?

Ringo
Keepin Mr. Tax Man from gettin us down.

Intern Adams

What?

John

They're going to use the signal to take over the world.  We're not letting them so we're making a signal of our own....but...

George
Band aint what it was.  At all.  So its takin time.

Both Sides are the Same

A universe where a third of the population have the intelligence of infants.

Check out this episode!

[Writer Stuff] When the Mentor of one of your Mentors says something

Jim Butcher is pretty much a template of how I've figured out a novel should work.  Short chapters.  Lots of actions.  End every chapter you can on a cliff hanger.  Dynamic but sympathetic characters.  Interesting and intracate settings.

So when the woman that taught him to write a book writes something, he is naturally going to publish it on his blog.

I definitely think it is worth checking out.

[Script] Revolution Number Eight - Page 5

Scene: The four musicians and the intern sit in the room talking.

Intern Adams
What words were you using earlier? I didn't understand them.

John
You mean the counterpoint of the surrealism of the underlying metaphor?

Intern Adams
The...what?

George
Stop it.  Just tell im.

Intern Adams
Tell me....what?

Paul
Look, there was this alien signal and it like told a lot of things but they only got radio signals a hundred years ago.

John
So they think that the British Empire is still the most powerful government on Earth

Ringo
It's Hilarious.

John
I just imaging if we had no

Ringo
Yeah yeah.  We all know. We've heard it before.

Intern Adams
Is there some kind of...manual for this? Like where its written down?

[Heliotrope] It the Blue Fairy Time to Get it Right

Everyone has heard of the little wooden boy who became real and lived with his lovely father Gepetto.  Jape....I am too lazy to google the name of the Itallian Puppeteer who got eaten by a whale.  And while we're at it, remind me to tell you the real story of what he did to piss off the whale enough to eat him.  No, not literally right now, I mean another time.  Whales generally don't just go eating people you know, especially big ones, and last time I checked aint' no bible chapter about the great prophet Gillato.  Gape...gil....

So anyway the Blue Fairy.  There once lived an old man who was a maker of butter churns.  He was the finest maker of butter churns in the land.  Now, understand that this is a colloquialism becuase land is relative when there are a thousand little kingdoms, so he was in fact the only butter churn maker in the land, but was actually a remarkably good butter churn maker and did it better than anyone else in a two hundred mile radius but the finest butter churn maker in a two hundred mile radius doesn't sound very fairy tale like, does it? You see? It takes time to get these things right.

Anyway, the butter churn maker had a passion for sculpting.  He started with soft butter, and eventually moved to wood.  The forest near him was infested with noxious butter eating termites though so these proved poor materials with which to learn to sculpt.  Thus, he eventually turned to stone.  He started making faces, and then worked with other materials.   He eventually began making artistic stone butter churns, and was known throughout the land (200 mile radius).  He grew quite rich but as time is want to do, he grew old.  Granted, immortal creatures don't...but humans still do.  Stop distracting me.

He grew lonely in his old age, and sought to have a child with a local maid.  Alas, he smelled for bathing was something he considered a somewhat optional activity.  So the rich but lonely butter churn maker looked for a shallow bimbo throughout the land who would sell herself for coin and he found one but alas, though he loved her, she was not capable of having a child.  This, and the fact that...let's just say that the butter churn maker was somewhat ignorant of what it actually took to make a child and the shallow bimbo was willing to let it stay that way soooo..

Eventually, she grew bored and left.  This made the butter churn maker very sad. So he began to make a super super realistic butter churn, pouring his whole life into the butter churn that was shaped like a boy, wishing on the great northern star that his little stone butter churn boy would come to life.

And then he died.

The blue fairy, arriving five minutes too late, felt sad and wept tears of bitter procrastination.  They fell onto the little stone butter churn boy, granting him life.  She swore that the next time she would get it right, and left.  The poor stone butter churn boy was left alone and confused in the world, entirely unknowning of the great sacrifice that his father had made to bring him to life.  But the Blue Fairy is a bit...confused.  I mean, let's face it, her hobby is granting inanimate objects life and it only occurred to her later to give the things she animated some kind of a purpose.

But that is another story.