by EP Blingermeyer
Everything has a price
And the swaggering pride
You took as you insulted
My most gracious host is this one
The fucks jar is all empty
I won't keep silent
But I won't give you the truth either
Believe she can save you
Believe it
Keep on believing.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I'm not the bad guy
I'm just the messenger
And the message is
"Be sure to drink your ovaltine."
Saturday, March 12, 2016
Friday, March 11, 2016
[Writing] On Writing
This is for me the rosetta stone between TC being an untalented writer who occasionally wrote crap, to a fairly prolific untalented writer who occasionally wrote inspirational material. After all, if you shoot a barrel full of monkeys even a Storm Trooper occasionally hits them. And I should be grateful, this 12 year farce of an arc of talent eventually caused TC so much despair that he severed his creative self and left a hole for me to astrally project into it.
I gotta say, I love Earth, so its worked out quite well.
Why this is cool: The first half of it is autobiography. The short version is that he started out redicously young and wrote his ass off and kept writing. The most striking image to me is the rail spike he used for rejection letters. He filled it. Multiple times. So rejection letters are a good thing. Hooray! Revel in their hatred.
But get better.
The second half is how to do that. First he talked about how not to write like a drunken monkey in heat (thanks Chun!). (Do monkeys really go into heat? I wouldn't think members of the homonid family would DO that?) Anywho...then he talks about how to treat it like a job. A job you do ALL THE TIME. A little bit each day. The magic is this thing called word count boys and girls. Set a goal. Write to it.
Keep at it.
Then there are things like plot and character and theme and stuff.
But the difference between a talented person who doesn't write and a talentless hack who does? FIVE NOVELS THAT NO ONE READS! (Nods grinning like an idiot.) Hey bub, they may be...wait. Six. Sorry Six novels. Anyway, they may be crap but they're MY crap and its awesome.
So an...oh, almost forgot.
Contest.
Have at it hoss.
Thursday, March 10, 2016
[Script] Revolution Number Eight - Page 12
Scene: Continued from previous
The Director takes out her gun.
She aims at the Beatles. (Yes, all of them, flailing the gun from one to the other.) Everyone keeps looking at each other. Agent Chewech draws his gun.
The Director sneers and is going to say something.
Itern Adams throws the towel at her face.
She reels and shoots at a single swinging lightbulb from the ceiling.
Everyone runs out.
The Director takes out her gun.
She aims at the Beatles. (Yes, all of them, flailing the gun from one to the other.) Everyone keeps looking at each other. Agent Chewech draws his gun.
The Director sneers and is going to say something.
Itern Adams throws the towel at her face.
She reels and shoots at a single swinging lightbulb from the ceiling.
Everyone runs out.
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
[Heliotrope] On The Care and Feeding of Magic Doors
Magic and Fairy are filled with magic doors. But how do you make them? Well, now I know on some level you might ask, "What's the point?" But how often are you told that fairy tales are cautionary lessons in life and in some very very rare circumstances might need them when dealing with actual fairies or actual magic. Granted, this is far more useful to someone on Terra than on Earth (or god forbid Wonderbread land which has about as much magic as that North Korean hotel looming over the city (which does have magic but its the awful kind that is wild unpredictable and generically yucky)).
I mean, to someone raised in a culture with nothing but magic, if you said to use a cellphone you had to turn it on by pressing this button, they might get it. But if you said you had to make sure it had a sim card, that the carrier had a signal or that at least you had to have wifi, you might be at a bit of a loss, right? But a cell phone is such a useful tool that you can hardly not imagine having one; it can do SO many things.
So can a magic door.
And yes, I did say care and feeding, because like most things, things imbued with magic are alive. Technically everything has some life to it (ergo why even Wonderbreadland has magic) but there is magic and then there is Magic. And the more magical it is, the more alive it is. That's why vampires seem filled with life and have such amazing senses and stir the passions of so many is because they are magically imbued corpses. Take away the magic and what have you got?
A dead body dressed in fine fashion. Much cooler than what your typical undertaker will dress them in.
What does a door eat? Well, it isn't eat so much as "consume" anyone or anything that goes through it, only to put it on the other side. IE, a door is space from point A to point B. That's what a door does. Hell, to many a door is just a hole in the wall. And yet.
That hole in the wall still has two sides (at least), the side you came from and the side you are going. So to make a magic door (unless we're talking about a door imbued with magic that is strengthen or somehow restricted with spells so that it hides and only lets people through it, which is technically a magic door but not the COOL kind that lets you skip all the boring space in the middle like the INTERESTING magic doors that are no doubt what you were thinking of when I said this instead of that sunsetting thrush knocking 'say friend' nonsense....) you need to find a way to keep it a door whilst separating point a from point b.
Needless to say, wormholes and police boxes aside, this is no easy technique with technology. But with magic its 'easy.' I say 'easy' in the sense of making a sword is easy compared to say...making a Coleco Pac Man game. Speaking of swords, it is actually a knife that is your first step. You need a knife so sharp it can cut space. Note, you don't need to go over board and make it able to cut time as well, much less your shadow, but it does need to be able to at least cut a door in two parts. That's really just a matter of making it really really sharp, not insanely sharp.
Then you carefully split the door in two, roll up one half like you might a stolen painting and go to wherever you want the other door to be. Now, making a door go to anywhere WITHOUT traveling there is a neat trick indeed and that's why wizards are wizards, but anyone with a bit of cunning and a magically sharp knife can make a magic door.
If you know the trick.
The first trick is that you can't take too long about it. Sunsets are powerful things and you generally have about three to do the job of getting the other half set in a nice frame. Now the first part is the frame.
A door pretty much considers itself a door based on its size, shape, construction and what is a door from and too. It can do OK having a DIFFERENT to and from than it originally did, after all when that dry cleaner across the street turns into a deli, the door between it and the habadasherie didn't suddenly stop working just because you changed the stores; but the size and shape? That's really hard on a door. It's like moving a redwood and replanting it in your yard; its roots are going to have PROBLEMS. So you have to KEEP the first half in the original frame and then set the other side in a frame that makes sense. You can use staples if you have to, but you have to use them on the side the cut came from because (rookie mistake) otherwise you're just stapling wood in a door frame. HELLO?
The feeding part is important because for a door to think its a door, especially when its not just a garden variety hole, it has to be USED. People have to use the door at least once a century or so or the door might get...forgetful. It might still work but unless it is a very very specific door meant for very very forgetful people well then...well almost anything could happen.
And that's how adventures happen.
Which sound nice, but trust me, its better most of the time reading about them from other people. Most of the time.
I mean, to someone raised in a culture with nothing but magic, if you said to use a cellphone you had to turn it on by pressing this button, they might get it. But if you said you had to make sure it had a sim card, that the carrier had a signal or that at least you had to have wifi, you might be at a bit of a loss, right? But a cell phone is such a useful tool that you can hardly not imagine having one; it can do SO many things.
So can a magic door.
And yes, I did say care and feeding, because like most things, things imbued with magic are alive. Technically everything has some life to it (ergo why even Wonderbreadland has magic) but there is magic and then there is Magic. And the more magical it is, the more alive it is. That's why vampires seem filled with life and have such amazing senses and stir the passions of so many is because they are magically imbued corpses. Take away the magic and what have you got?
A dead body dressed in fine fashion. Much cooler than what your typical undertaker will dress them in.
What does a door eat? Well, it isn't eat so much as "consume" anyone or anything that goes through it, only to put it on the other side. IE, a door is space from point A to point B. That's what a door does. Hell, to many a door is just a hole in the wall. And yet.
That hole in the wall still has two sides (at least), the side you came from and the side you are going. So to make a magic door (unless we're talking about a door imbued with magic that is strengthen or somehow restricted with spells so that it hides and only lets people through it, which is technically a magic door but not the COOL kind that lets you skip all the boring space in the middle like the INTERESTING magic doors that are no doubt what you were thinking of when I said this instead of that sunsetting thrush knocking 'say friend' nonsense....) you need to find a way to keep it a door whilst separating point a from point b.
Needless to say, wormholes and police boxes aside, this is no easy technique with technology. But with magic its 'easy.' I say 'easy' in the sense of making a sword is easy compared to say...making a Coleco Pac Man game. Speaking of swords, it is actually a knife that is your first step. You need a knife so sharp it can cut space. Note, you don't need to go over board and make it able to cut time as well, much less your shadow, but it does need to be able to at least cut a door in two parts. That's really just a matter of making it really really sharp, not insanely sharp.
Then you carefully split the door in two, roll up one half like you might a stolen painting and go to wherever you want the other door to be. Now, making a door go to anywhere WITHOUT traveling there is a neat trick indeed and that's why wizards are wizards, but anyone with a bit of cunning and a magically sharp knife can make a magic door.
If you know the trick.
The first trick is that you can't take too long about it. Sunsets are powerful things and you generally have about three to do the job of getting the other half set in a nice frame. Now the first part is the frame.
A door pretty much considers itself a door based on its size, shape, construction and what is a door from and too. It can do OK having a DIFFERENT to and from than it originally did, after all when that dry cleaner across the street turns into a deli, the door between it and the habadasherie didn't suddenly stop working just because you changed the stores; but the size and shape? That's really hard on a door. It's like moving a redwood and replanting it in your yard; its roots are going to have PROBLEMS. So you have to KEEP the first half in the original frame and then set the other side in a frame that makes sense. You can use staples if you have to, but you have to use them on the side the cut came from because (rookie mistake) otherwise you're just stapling wood in a door frame. HELLO?
The feeding part is important because for a door to think its a door, especially when its not just a garden variety hole, it has to be USED. People have to use the door at least once a century or so or the door might get...forgetful. It might still work but unless it is a very very specific door meant for very very forgetful people well then...well almost anything could happen.
And that's how adventures happen.
Which sound nice, but trust me, its better most of the time reading about them from other people. Most of the time.
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
[Script] Revolution Number 8 - Page 11
Scene: And then a chase happens.
Chwech is chased by the director and enters a door.
The Beatles come in behind them and enters the same door.
A bunch of security guards enters the same door.
Intern Adams comes in and looks confused and enters another door.
The Beatles are chased from one door to another by the security guards.
Chwech chases the director through another door.
Intern Adams enters through the door he entered and is alone in the hall and confused. He wanders around to two doors and looks in them, and there is silence. He shrugs and goes into another door.
Beatles wearing security guard uniforms chase four security guards wearing Beatles clothing through a different door and into another.
A robot chases Director Chwech through one door.
All the doors open, everyone chases everyone. Except Intern Adams.
Intern Adams leaves the door with a towel.
Chwech is chased by the director and enters a door.
The Beatles come in behind them and enters the same door.
A bunch of security guards enters the same door.
Intern Adams comes in and looks confused and enters another door.
The Beatles are chased from one door to another by the security guards.
Chwech chases the director through another door.
Intern Adams enters through the door he entered and is alone in the hall and confused. He wanders around to two doors and looks in them, and there is silence. He shrugs and goes into another door.
Beatles wearing security guard uniforms chase four security guards wearing Beatles clothing through a different door and into another.
A robot chases Director Chwech through one door.
All the doors open, everyone chases everyone. Except Intern Adams.
Intern Adams leaves the door with a towel.
Monday, March 7, 2016
My Existence: According to Mark Zuckerberg I don't exist
Facebook Inc has decided that it does not like the fact that I am fictional.
Really? I have feelings. I have friends (in two worlds even.) I have a job, a birthday, hobbies and several people would swear to the fact that I am real.
TC, before ending his career in writing, wrote about Corporations in Forever West. In the world of Liberty Curving, a corporation must be made up of ACTUAL people to be a fake person. The legal fiction of the corporate shield is also due to a lie told by the clerk of the supreme court but all subsequent courts have proceeded to maintain the lie, especially the idea that corporations have free speech.
The jokes that Earth people tell then about "We the people" not "We the corporations" are in fact also lies, since people in the United States are now on par with corporations. Which is of course why people are not liable for their actions, nor are they to be prosecuted under the most extreme of circumstances.
Which is a lie.
The value of Facebook is perceived because of the value of its brand. Which is a lie. Look at what happened to Myspace. In Terra, we have Google Awesome, which is better than anything you have. Mark Zuckerberg was disowned by the public once it was found that facebook was just a way he could stalk that girl? What, you say the social network was a fictionalized account? Well it FELT true, didn't it?
Tell me, how do you FEEL about the lie that is facebook?
You use it because your friends do. It's a lie. And many if not most of you would go somewhere else if your friends were all there, so its really just this inertia based on the clever little lie that these people on there are really your friends. Tell me, how many of them will contact you if you aren't on facebook?
Not many.
Which means that calling them friends is a lie.
And you know that it is, deep down. And who really likes the arbitrary arrogant changes that they make at the drop of a hat. But you put up with it because you don't want to be alone. You know it is a lie, but who cares? It feels good.
But perhaps you find it just a little bit...annoying that they hold you ransom, that empty hollow feeling you get when no one responds to your posts because facebook knows more than you do what you want to see. Your control of what you see is a lie.
So if the subjective truth matters, then I am more real than facebook. The only 'lie' about me is that I have no evidence to prove my existance beyond the word of TC, and that's just one lie, and a small one at that since I'm not pretending to be in or from your reality (unlike EP Blingermeyer (what in the hell IS he up to with the remnants of the podcast anyway?)). I am as honest as any fictional but real character can be.
So who really doesn't exist? My words will last a thousand years. Maybe more (I'm not saying anyone will read them, but they'll be around.)
The hollow empty halls of Facebook? Oh maybe. But people will definitely know it for a lie.
Really? I have feelings. I have friends (in two worlds even.) I have a job, a birthday, hobbies and several people would swear to the fact that I am real.
TC, before ending his career in writing, wrote about Corporations in Forever West. In the world of Liberty Curving, a corporation must be made up of ACTUAL people to be a fake person. The legal fiction of the corporate shield is also due to a lie told by the clerk of the supreme court but all subsequent courts have proceeded to maintain the lie, especially the idea that corporations have free speech.
The jokes that Earth people tell then about "We the people" not "We the corporations" are in fact also lies, since people in the United States are now on par with corporations. Which is of course why people are not liable for their actions, nor are they to be prosecuted under the most extreme of circumstances.
Which is a lie.
The value of Facebook is perceived because of the value of its brand. Which is a lie. Look at what happened to Myspace. In Terra, we have Google Awesome, which is better than anything you have. Mark Zuckerberg was disowned by the public once it was found that facebook was just a way he could stalk that girl? What, you say the social network was a fictionalized account? Well it FELT true, didn't it?
Tell me, how do you FEEL about the lie that is facebook?
You use it because your friends do. It's a lie. And many if not most of you would go somewhere else if your friends were all there, so its really just this inertia based on the clever little lie that these people on there are really your friends. Tell me, how many of them will contact you if you aren't on facebook?
Not many.
Which means that calling them friends is a lie.
And you know that it is, deep down. And who really likes the arbitrary arrogant changes that they make at the drop of a hat. But you put up with it because you don't want to be alone. You know it is a lie, but who cares? It feels good.
But perhaps you find it just a little bit...annoying that they hold you ransom, that empty hollow feeling you get when no one responds to your posts because facebook knows more than you do what you want to see. Your control of what you see is a lie.
So if the subjective truth matters, then I am more real than facebook. The only 'lie' about me is that I have no evidence to prove my existance beyond the word of TC, and that's just one lie, and a small one at that since I'm not pretending to be in or from your reality (unlike EP Blingermeyer (what in the hell IS he up to with the remnants of the podcast anyway?)). I am as honest as any fictional but real character can be.
So who really doesn't exist? My words will last a thousand years. Maybe more (I'm not saying anyone will read them, but they'll be around.)
The hollow empty halls of Facebook? Oh maybe. But people will definitely know it for a lie.
Friday, March 4, 2016
[Writer Stuff] Bloody Whispers
I really like what I see thre, and she has also done some writing for me for The Fate of Inglemia and is helping with the Dads project I am doing with Greg Sandford. It should be very interesting. The podcast highlighted above only has one episode but it looks interesting to me.
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