[Script] Dog Mirror Leaves Act 3

Act III

Scene: Cat on counter, knocking treats on floor, dog eating them up.  For 10 minutes.

Roll credits.

During the credits, human comes home and finds the kitty litter box empty screams.

More credits.

Human finds the treats empty and screams.

More credits.

Human stands in front of two way mirror with DIM saying “You looking for a good game of poker?” - Feints (queue to black)

[Script] Dog Mirror Leaves Act 2 Page 2

Third Poker Dog: How did he whip out that badge?

Dog: Huh?

Third Poker Dog: Dogs don’t have thumbs

Deg: I do too.

Third Poker Dog: Oh? Show us.

Deg: Right here. (raises paw)

Third Poker Dog: I knew it! No thumbs!

Dog: But...we’ve all been holding cards.

Third Poker Dog: Damn it, you’re right.

First Poker Dog: What does this have to do with the meaning of life?

Cat: The meaning of life is to serve me.

First Poker Dog: Where the hell did you come from? Get him boys!

Second Poker Dog: Wait, I don’t have thumbs either! Someone stole my thumbs!

Scene: Cat goes up to Dog.  

Cat: This is a silly place.  Let’s go home.  The emergency backup human has left the closet open and you can eat my poop.

Dog: REALLY?

Cat: Yes, really.

Dog: Hooray!

Mommeries - Part 20

The baby race.

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[Script] Dog Mirror Leaves Act 2 Page 1

Act II

Scene (Interior): Time has passed, there is a lot of money on the table.

First Poker Dog: So, what do you think about the existential nature of the universe?

Dog: I … um … er … (suddenly, anxiously starts licking his behind)

First Poker Dog: That’s not a bad idea.

Second Poker Dog: Is it licking my behind or your behind?

Third Poker Dog: Or licking my balls?

First Poker Dog: Not all of us have balls, how can that be the meaning of life?

Second Poker Dog: (beat) Not any more.

Dog: Drinking out of the toilet?

Deg: So do you guys actually play poker? I haven’t seen any real poker playing, just dogs posing and pretending to be playing poker. What’s actually going on here?

(Dog whips out a police dog badge)

First Poker Dog: Now you interrupted my speech about the difference between Aristotelian thought and the correlation to later ecclesiastical reforms with St Thomas Aquinas.

Second Poker Dog: Not the angels dancing on the head of a pin, again.

[Script] Dog Mirror Leaves Act 1 Page 4

Second Poker Dog: Hey!

Third Poker Dog: Hey hey hey

Fourth Poker Dog: Hey hey

Scene (Wide shot): All the dogs start barking.

Dog: (Makes an effort to sniff First Poker Dog’s butt….)

Scene (Interior) There is much butt sniffing.

First Poker Dog: Alright! Let’s play some poker!

Molly and Mr Missile Part 2

Ordained Ordnance can stop unholy things.

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[Script] Dog Mirrors Leaves Act 1 - Page 3

DOG: Just kidding. (happy dog face) I don’t eat cards unless they’ve been handled by someone who’s been eating something really good (wink). Thanks for letting me borrow your tux. My human looks mighty snappy in his. haha!

DOG IN MIRROR: Whew. So many of us eat ANYTHING it's just hard to get a good game going.  Step on in and I will show you where to play.  

SCENE (Interior) Dog walks through the mirror.  

SCENE (Interior) Dog and Dog in Mirror walk into a walk in closet.  

SCENE (Close Up) Dog in Mirror nods.

Scene (Interior) Dog is wearing a Tuxedo and wags his tail.

SCENE (interior) A hidden casino. Dogs in Tuxedos and evening gowns at various tables playing card, roulette, slot machines. Dogs dressed as wait-persons are carrying trays of toilet water in martini glasses, close-up of staff scooping poop out of cat litter boxes, carefully putting toothpicks in each poop and arranging them “appealingly” on a silver platter, etc. D.i.M. takes a drink and a “treat.”  An Iguana wearing a sun visor is running an old fashioned 8 button calculator in the back with a ticker.

D.i.M.: Mmmmmm!” Pre-processed protein. Chicken? I think?

DOG: Yes.  Can’t you smell it?

D.i.M: I don’t have as good a sense of smell as you.

DOG: Oh.

Scene (Close Up of Dog) Dog looks sad.

Dog (VO) Wow.  That must really suck for him.  Poor guy.  I wonder if tried to smell a meteorite and it smashed him in the nose and it did things to him.

Scene (Interior) D.i.M motions over to his shoulder to Dog

D.i.M: What’s up? Everyone is waiting.

Scene (Interior) Wide shot of a poker table.  It matches a “classic” painting loosely with 4-5 dogs.

Poker Dog: Hey Dog, how you?