[Play] A Handgrenade Loose in King Arthur's Court - Act 1 Scene 4

 Scene 4

King Arthur, Sir Pelimore and Grenademan all stand around a map of Camelot.

Sir Pelinor

What you're seeing now is a map of Camelot.  As you can see, we are under siege from all sides.  Never has the realm been in greater peril.  I wish we could do something sire.  (Looks at King Arthur)

King Arthur

Quite right, Sir Pelinor.  It’s my fault for insisting that we try to find the grail and scattering the knights to the four winds.

Sir Pelinor

It’s not your fault your majesty, its the only way we can get you well.  What think you, Sir Grenademan?

Grenademan

THIS DOES INDEED LOOK DIRE.  WORRY NOT KING ARTHUR, FOR THE FORCES OF GOOD SHALL TRIUMPH OVER THE FORCES OF EVIL.

King Arthur

Must you be so...loud?

Grenademan

(slightly less loud but still loud) IS THIS BETTER?  

King Arthur

Barely.

Grenademan

EXCELLENT.  WHICH IS THE GREATER PRIORITY FOR THE DEFENSE OF THE REALM, BLOWING THE FORCES OF EVIL TO SMITHEREENS, OR FINDING THE GRAIL?

Sir Pelinor

Both.  We need both.  Without the Grail, Arthur is doomed.  The land is the king, the king is the land.  And if we don’t stop the armies of Mordred, then we shall never have TIME to find the Grail.

Grenademan

DIRE INDEED.  PERHAPS IF I SHOWED YOU THE SECRET OF GUNPOWDER….

King Arthur

What is this Gunpowder? Unless it is the blade of Angels, I doubt it is enough to save us without the grail.

Grenademan

THE FORCES OF EVIL CANNOT WIN BECAUSE THE FORCES OF GOOD ARE INDESTRUCTIBLE.  GUNPOWDER IS AN EXPLOSIVE CHEMICAL MIXTURE THAT MAKES THINGS EXPLODE.

King Arthur

I assure you, I am not indestructible.  Evil can and does triumph in the world, though this Gunpowder does sound interesting.

Grenademan

THE DESTRUCTABILITY OF GOOD IS A MYTH, LIKE BIGFOOT.  WE SHALL TRIUMPH.

Pelinor

What is a Bigfoot?

King Arthur (aside to Pelinor)

I do believe Sir Grenademan may be a bit ...mad.

Pelinor

Perhaps he too spent too much time chasing after the Questing Beast? But Alchemy is a subject I know well.  If our Knight Alchemical can teach me this secret it may be a great boon to us.

King Arthur

Very well.   (To Grenademan) We bid thee teach Sir Pelinor of this Powder of The Gun that we may blow our foes to tiny bits.

Grenademan

TALLYHO! COME FORTH SIR PELINOR! LET THE EDUCATION OF TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENT COMMENCE.

Sir Pelinor shrugs at King Arthur and they leave the stage.

[Play] A Hand Grenade Loose in King Arthur’s Court A Play By Rhombus Ticks Act 1 Scene 3

 Scene 3

Merlin and Morgan walk on stage together, horizontally.  The location is a different one than the one Order and Chaos met at.

Morgana: A Hand Grenade Loose in King Arthur’s Court.

Merlin: A Costumed Loon Blows Up King Arthur

Morgana: An Insane Super Hero Blows Up The Past

Merlin: The Butterfly Defect.

Morgana: Oh that’s a good one.  How many times have we done this now?

Merlin: I’ve lost count.  More than five hundred, less than five thousand.  

Morgana: I wish we could forget like everyone else.

Merlin: Magic has a price.

Morgana: Its so cliché; Chaos opens the portals, and Order ensures that the basic story structure remains the same, the rise, the fall and the end of chaos.  They play games across the cosmos but this is their Poker.  I don’t get it.

Merlin: It’s comfort food.  They’re so far above us that we can’t understand even the slightest shard of them, but in some ways, they are both creatures of habit.

Morgana: That’s….disgusting.

Merlin: Isn’t it just?  Well, let’s get this over with.

Both take out two stones, one Yellow and the Other Green.  Each takes a stone.

Morgana: Order.

Merlin: Chaos.  Damn, I hate it when I am his champion with the truly random ones.  

*****

Morgana: I don’t understand why they don’t stick with you for Order and Chaos with me all the time.

Merlin: Chaos literally can’t do that.  Otherwise he wouldn’t be Chaos.

Morgana: Well why doesn’t Order just insist on it?

Merlin: Because if they didn't do games, it would be pure war...their minions and agents fight enough, if they did, whole universes would shatter...and Oberon and his wives wouldn't tolerate that, and God forbid higher powers than that got upset.

Morgana: Higher powers?

Merlin: Turtles all the way down, turtles all the way up.  Even if you can’t see it or they don’t see you.  

Morgana: I...guess.  Do you want to do a side bet this time around?

Merlin: Certainly, shall we say loser teaches a spell to the winner?

Morgana: I like it.  We haven’t done that one in a while.  What stakes?

Merlin: I set the stakes last time...your turn?

Morgana: Hmm.  I think this one has hidden potential.  I think he will do more good than ill.

Merlin: Are you kidding me? I’ll definitely take that bet.

Morgana: Done.  Let the games begin.

Merlin: I almost feel guilty.  Almost.

(both exit the stage)

Emmit's Corner - Conjunction

8 Poems by Emmit Other including:

Conjunction

Is that really a good idea?

To My Beloved

Saving Christmas (Again)

This Too Shall Pass

Prince Polonium

Awkward Duck Walk

Robinhood This!

https://poetizer.com/poem/1713821

Check out this episode!

[Play] A Hand Grenade Loose in King Arthur’s Court A Play By Rhombus Ticks Act 1 Scene 2

 Scene 2

Two Heralds, standing on different vertical levels, one above the other meet.   They are unable to touch but interact verbally.  

Herald One

Hark servant of Camelot, I see your vile colors still shine and thy banner stains the light.

Herald Two

Hark servant of Eastland, I see your foul mouth still pours forth vapors as the bog.

Herald One

Behold the assembled host of my master, six kingdoms harken to his banner, four thousand strong.

Herald Two

It is true that we are but two thousand, but behold the rabble at thy master’s feet, lickspittles, backbiting and quarrels infest thy number.  And Arthur is rightful king of all the Britons.  God is on our side.

Herald One

God is on the side of the latest armies.  We shall crush thy flotsam band.  Hark! See the first waves meet each other on the field.

Herald Two

What carnage! See the heads on lances on the valiant knights of Camelot!

Herald One

No less so that of Eastland! Now see the second wave sally forth.

Herald Two

(Winces) It is an ill omen.

Herald One 

(Laughs) You will rue the day!

Herald Two

What is this?  Merlin’s work assuredly, some portal opens up in the middle of the field.

Herald One

Your demon wormtounge will not save you.  God is on our side.

Herald Two

Your knights attack the newcomer, dressed in strange clothing and decorated in all manner of curious colors.  They will regret this.

Herald One

I find it highly unl….Great God! What is this?

Herald Two

Thunder in bottles and strange colors, slippery oils and noxious gasses that this alchemist from another world hues and cries on thy foul nights.  I told you Merlin would do us right.

Herald One

It’s...impossible.  So many explosions! LIke lightning called to earth on a cloudless sky.

Herald Two

Thou art in retreat!  Arthur wins the day!

Herald One

You will regret this.  We will win in the end.  (Leaves)

Herald Two

All hail this strange knight from afar! Welcome to Camelot stranger! Welcome Alchemist of wonder!

[Poem] Team Incompotent For The Loss

 Check out Emmit Other's poem!

https://poetizer.com/poem/3189820

Governor Warmed Over Stale Wonderbread

Lost to a Walking Talking Racist Dog Whistle

Centrists Battling Centrists in DC

To see which Luke Warm Pedialyte Crap

They Can Jam Down Our Throats 

Fingers Doing the Nixon V for Victory

While Actual Fascism Rears Its Ugly Head

I am Not Running Away

I am Simply No Longer Helping Team Mr Magoo

Old White Men and Old White Karens

Bore Me to Tears

And Their Fake Concern About Moonbeams

While The Most Powerful Man in The World

Twiddles His Thumbs and Shrugs 

'Who Me?'

If You Needed Me, You Would Act Like It

Bye

[Play] A Hand Grenade Loose in King Arthur’s Court A Play By Rhombus Ticks - Act 1, Scene 1

 Scene 1 

Order and Chaos stand opposite each other on stage.  When possible everything else should be cleared.

Order: Welcome Brother, another match on this, our favorite game board of Camelot.  I see that you have opened the portals to other worlds.  What randomness will you inflict on these poor folk this loop around? A spaceman? A Connecticut Yankee?  You have lost six times in a row to me.  Why not just give up?

Chaos: I love you, I hate you, I love you.  We are twins and yet could never be further apart.  These games of ours, they are how we prove each other the best.

Order: And yet...I keep proving that I am the better?

Chaos: Castles in Sand brother, castles in Sand.  You win the match but you lose the war; Camelot goes away.  

Order: outside of the scope of our match, what do I care for the inhabitants of this little mud ball?  Entropy is part of Order in the right context, it is the natural state of things in the fallen world.

Chaos: But it is here brother? In this realm of ideas where we play, this is the idea of Camelot, not just the mundane Earthly realm but the imprint of it upon every Other Earth.  Here, the stakes we play for echo throughout time.

Order: What is, is what is.  What must be is what must be.

Chaos: Are you so certain?  Wouldn’t you like for Camelot to finally be more than a blueprint for future societies but an island of order?

Order: What are you proposing?

Chaos: Let us up the stakes.  Let us play for more than the apex of the board, but its ultimate fate.

Order: Intriguing.  Let us see what this loop brings from your randomness, and mayhap I will consider it.

Chaos: Excellent, let the games begin.

Order: Let the games begin.

Realignment

The podcast will focus more on my writing for a few months and in this podcast I talk about past, present and future plans.

Check out this episode!