Scene: A large bunker door is built into the side of a hill. JARVI shows up at the edge and begins chanting.
Voice Over: Like most things surrounding an apocalyptic event, the world ended on a bet. Funny thing about wagers though. To some, a wager is as serious as a riddle. Humans spin oaths, wagers and random riddles about like they are nothing. But there are older beings and older powers that take such things immensely seriously.
Jarvi: You said that you could survive a zombie apocalypse. You said put or shut up. Well, now you’ll all see!
Jarvi begins chanting and there is thunder and lightning and the undead arrive on the stage and wander to the door.
Jarvi: $2000 you said Doc. You showed me your little bunker and offered me an out saying I’d have to prove that you couldn’t. Well I am. With ACTUAL ZOMBIES!
Zombie begin to pound on the door.
Jarvi pulls out a Napkin and reads, “Be it hereby witnessed by the undersigned that The Band of the Grey Orc’s Head does wager Jarmos Almandine that within 30 days they can construct a shelter of sufficient strength to survive a Zombie Apocalypse. The wager shall consist of $2000. Judgment shall be rendered on impartial evidence alone without speculation.”
Jarvi: You want evidence Doc? I’ll give you EVIDENCE.
(beat, Zombies pound)
Jarvi: What they actual fuck? How can they not be freaked out right now?
Cautiously, Jarvi goes up to the door and listens as the Zombies part for him.
Here’s the story
Of a Lovely Lady
That was bringing up
Three very lovely girls…
Jarvi: TELEVISION? You think you can ignore me so easily! Minions, take out that generator. Take out the wires and the batteries on their little bunker. We’ll see how well they weather the madness of actual madness IN THE DARK.
Zombies move to obey.
Jarvi: That should teach them. Wait, what time is it. No, it CANT be near sunlight already! No! NONONONONONO!
The sun rises, the zombies collapse around the bunker door.
