Operation Spear and Magic Helmet has had some curious side effects. In addition to the recurrent incursions by the United States Military on the woefully unequipped Texas Army, the populace has reached out for someone to blame. The current target de jour is the local Mennonite population. As my friend Emmit Other wrote in his poem, When Texas is bad, it is incredibly, moustache twirling rail road track tying stove pipe black hat wearing deed stealing cattle rustling milk shake drinking bad. But when it is good, it is ten gallon hat wearing kung fu ranger as kicking hi ho silvering alamo stomping awesomeness.
And so it was a few nights ago that that I was working out and I found my attention drawn to some quiet whispers outside. I looked out and couldn't see anything. Then I tried a trick I hadn't tried before, and used my discovered astral projection abilities to check out Terra rather than some distant realm. As I looked about I realized that there was a small cell of Texas Revolutionaries bypassing my house. Texas Revolutionaries are the baddest of the badass. They fight a government so crazy that they will fight someone who will fight the most powerful nation on earth with muskets.
It should also be noted that even though they don't believe in their government, they still abide by the accords of San Antonio 1914. The way they get around this is hand crafted hand canons, still based on technology from the old west. For example, one of them has a revolving shooter that has over 50 shots in a single barrel but is otherwise identical to a colt revolver. The leader owns a 96 caliber six shooter, and holds two of them in massive meaty hands. They spotted my tiny home near their objective and wanted to make sure that it wasn't some kind of a guard station.
Of course it wasn't and once they saw that I was 'asleep' they crept on to their main objective.
The government of Louisiana has always played footsies with the darker elements of Texas, and they found that reports of an asylum in West Louisiana that was illegally housing Mennonite inmates in direct violation of treaty, even after the most recent hostilities had been resolved (in about 7 and a half days) they were still sweeping some of their war crimes under the rug.
Like wolves they were, silent, and deadly and perfectly coordinated, with hoots and hand gestures and a few lights alone, they perfectly coordinated their efforts on the heavily armed asylum. One by one they took out the guards and then opened the doors. Blinking under the bright moonlight, their hats worn and edged, they were led to safety where they could signal for help on the main road. I saw it on the news, and was impressed to be witness of such a historical event.
Needless to say, Texas is going to be made to pay reparations. But these unsung masked heroes continue to do good in a state as rotten as they come. It just goes to show me that even when someone is 'evil' there are those who do good in their geographical confines. Conversely, some areas that one might think of as 'good' such as Scandanavia, have some of the darkest and most fascist people around.
In other words, people are complicated. Its easy to forget that. But I won't forget it again soon. How could I? I resolved to check in from time to time on these folks to see what they were doing. It was definitely the most interesting fringe benefit of the curious path EP Blingermeyer and TC set me on. Not all of life can be about talking mice and spoiled princes.
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