[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 62

Hawkqueen

Make it stop! Make the evil stop! 

GRENADEMAN

EVIL?! THERE IS EVIL ABOUT? 

CANDY QUEEN

No, there is no evil about, but please, come sit and join us for a lovely meal. 

CHAINSAW FRED

There is something defiantly just wrong here. It doesn’t feel good. 

Inoria

I know. Besides being insipid-it just makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up-I mean the way they’re looking at us-it’s almost as if they were… 

CANDY CHORUS

Hungry! Hungry Hungry Hungry for some human flesh

Tastes so good with ketchup and a good potato mesh

Gobble up the heroes and throw them in the stew

Creeping up to fill our bellies we’ll all eat you! 

Chainsaw Fred starts his chainsaw.

CHAINSAW FRED

That’s what I thought.

Inoria

You know it makes sense in a morbid sort of way… 

Hawkqueen

What? 

Grenademan Vs Zombies Chapter 4 Part 2

Jarvi gets to work destroying the world.

Written by T.C. Ricks

Performed by Matt Franklin

Edited by Fiona Skye

Available on Amazon

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 61

Inoria

It looks like we’ve come through some sort of dimensional rift….we’re in (interrupted) 

Hawkqueen

We’re in-where the hell are we? 

CANDY QUEEN

Why, you are in Candy Land!  

CANDY CHORUS

We welcome you to Candy Land,

Candy Land, Candy Land

We’re so happy that you’re here in Candy Land, We Want to Happy Dance With Joy 

CHAINSAW FRED

I almost wish we HAD been killed back there.  

Inoria

Insipidity is getting rather tangible isn’t it? 

GRENADEMAN

GREETINGS DENIZENS OF CANDY LAND! I, GRENADEMAN AM HERE TO PROTECT YOU FROM THE FORCES OF EVIL! 

CANDY QUEEN

But, but there is no evil in Candy Land. Only happy lovely candy. 

CANDY CHORUS

Happy Lovely Candy on a Sunshine Day

Lovely Groovy Gumdrops and some Liquorish Hay

Have a lumpy dumpy blip bop time

We all wish you could stay and play! 

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 60

DOC SHADOWS

It could send you anywhere in time or space, rather than simply scatter your atoms across the cosmos. If I wasn’t so practical, I’d almost envy you your trip.  

Hawkqueen

Trip? 

Fred

TRIP?! I can’t go anywhere I’ve got a family to think of. 

DOC SHADOWS

I’m afraid it’s a bit late for that now. But at least you’re not dead. of course, one could argue that death has its merits. Indeed, one could defiantly argue that.

The device activates and they vanish.

EXT. CANDY LAND - DAY 

A grassy field, a sun lit day, the CANDY QUEEN sits upon her lovely throne in Candy Land with dancing candy canes and ginger bread men happily making merry all about the throne. They are singing. 

Gingerbread Men Candy Canes and Queen

(Insipid music) 

We are happy in Candy Land, Candy Land, Candy Land

Life is ever wonderful and Grand in Candy Land

It makes us Happy, Dance and Stand

To Live in Happy Candy Land

Lalala, heeheehee, Lololo, FweeFweeFwee

Dancing All the happy Day, we sing now and laugh and play. 

Grenademan, Chainsaw Fred, Inoria and Hawkqueen Appear. 

The Fires of Prophesy Part 1

A story of what happens when the ambitious try to meddle in the affairs of True Gods.

 

By T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin, Edited by Fiona Skye

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 59

Hawkqueen

God bless you. Maybe you aren’t entirely evil after all. 

DOC SHADOWS

I would have done that as a public service if I had the blackest of hearts. Now, you don’t have much time, seconds in fact. You need to take the acid vial that FRED Noble is using on his wrist chain as we speak.

Fred

Didn’t think there was much point in hiding my thoughts from a telepath. Wasn’t going to volunteer the information either.

Fred breaks free of his chain. 

Inoria

Fred Noble? What-Not that I’m not glad for the help, but I thought you hated anything and everything that had to do with super heroes. 

DOC SHADOWS

You’ll find that there is a great deal about the Noble brothers that you might not ordinarily suspect. Right now, however, I’d place Frank’s cape between yourselves and that rather nasty looking grayish crystal on the far side of the room. 

Inoria

And what will that do. 

DOC SHADOWS

It could send you anywhere in time or space, rather than simply scatter your atoms across the cosmos. If I wasn’t so practical, I’d almost envy you your trip.  

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 58

Inoria

Come again? 

DOC SHADOWS

What you see with your eyes is but a mental projection into your minds, while Thorne foolishly believes that I am not present or capable of knowing what he is doing. 

Hawkqueen

And the reason you want to do this is because…? 

DOC SHADOWS

Because as much as I dislike what must be done, I’m determined to do it. That doesn’t mean I want to see you all killed. 

Inoria

Fair enough. So you’re going to help us to escape? 

DOC SHADOWS

Not exactly. I’m going to help you to live. I can’t afford to have you attempt to alter my plans. 

GRENADEMAN

THE PLANS OF EVIL SHALL NEVER TRIUMPH! 

INORIA HAWkqueen DOC SHADOWS

(together)

Shut UP! 

GRENADEMAN

NOTHING CAN SILENCE THE MIGH-gurk 

DOC SHADOWS

I have temporarily disabled the portion of his brain that allows speech.