[Heliotrope] The Rearrangers

Did you ever wonder why you had such big business blunders on Earth? Well there's a rather famous book by one of TC's uncles that explains why people are so idiotic where you're from, Terra the situation is more complicated. I know that many of you haven't had a chance to read heliotrope yet, primarily because it hasn't actually been released yet.

But one question you are likely to ask, is why something so incredibly valuable as spells of time travel would be lying around for anyone to pick it up. That's a very good question. First, the book in question was in the Royal Library. So it was reasonable for them to assume that the book was at least somewhat guarded. Another thing you have to remember, is that where I am from stories are much rarer and good stories are rarer still.  Time travel stories are very difficult. We simply don't have as many of them for people to learn some of the things that you can do with it.

Among Outer Fairy, another reason time travel is not is the Hooligans from middle fairy called the Rearrangers.  This group of goblins enjoys causing as much Havoc as possible. Even other goblins are embarrassed by them. Ever wake up one day and find your entire life and turned around? Perhaps you were a well-loved American superhero who fought Nazis, only to wake up and find out that you are one... You can thank the Rearrangers. In our reality, we had a new Coke. But it wasn't caused by poor marketing. It was caused by goblins. One morning we had Coke they tasted good. The next morning we had garbage. Sometimes they let people remember... And sometimes they don't. Sometimes Han shot first... And sometimes last. In case you were wondering, and our Star Wars who shot last in the original.  As I said, in our universe the stories aren't as good.

Fairies by and large don't mind a reputation for Mayhem. But the adjusters are so sloppy about it, they often make it look like they're just idiotic middle managers you haven't got any creativity left.  Point for point you can't tell the difference between Earth idiots and a lot of really stupid things on Terra. Are you going to use time travel for totally lame things? Why even bother...

So in case you were wondering... Yes it was a brief opening between Terra and Earth because the mentally deficient people at Marvel Comics to turn Captain America into a Nazi.  Reality breeches have consequences.

[Script] Peterpan vs Frankenstein vs Superman Page 7

Peter Pan: What are the stakes?

Superman: If you win, you get to court Denny.

Frankenstein: And if my monster wins?

Superman: He keeps away from your family.  Forever.

(Peter looks stricken)

Peter Pan: No!

Superman: And if I win, and, by the way, I can go faster than the speed of light, you all face justice. Frankenstein for assault and Peter Pan for lewdness and assault.

Frankenstein Monster: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Superman: That's the deal.  Otherwise we rumble.  Either of you wanna take those odds?

Denny: Excuse me, I'm right here.  Don't I get a say in this?

(He pats her head)

[The 500] Falling Behind

It was my last day as a taxi driver.  Twenty years ago, no one would have cared.  They would have gotten another job somewhere; truck driver, retail worker, fast food.  Those were the glory days before the robots.  Its not like they didn't warn us, we needed to have some kind of a system to accomodate people who weren't developers.  But we just didn't care.  God knows I didn't.  I was having a great time.  I remember the teens with fun; twenties were better.

But you kinda noticed it, even then, even if you didn't want to.  Robot here; robot there.  But hey, work hard, play hard.  It was a free market.  It's all good.

And I did work hard.  I got my first job as a taxi driver when I was 19, and I was good at it.  That's why it took me so long to notice; sure Uber and Lyft and all of the alphabet soup medicine companies were doing ride sharing; but the companies were assholes.  I was the driver with a personal touch.  People got along with me and I got along with them.

Eventually, the robots took all the jobs from the uber drivers who were taking it from taxi drivers.  And I just smirked because people were always gonna want a personal touch, not some fucking robot to drive them somewhere. I had survived the touch times, and now I was In Like Flynn.

The job changed and I changed with it.  Needed to wear a tux while you were driving? No problem.  Needed First aid training? No problem.  Needed to be able to be a fully liscenced bar tender capable of running the mini bar while driving? No problem.

I got training in psychology, etiqutte, fashion, self defense, stunt driving and the local history of the city.  The bar kept going up and up and I went with it.  There came a point where Taxi driver was synonymous with Rocket Scientist or Brain surgeon.  And I reveled in it.  At a time of 33% unemployment, and the rest of the world reached Post Industrial status, the United States became a backwater gulag for all but the 1%.

I was the 1%, so I didn't care.

But the higher you rise, the harder you fall; a lesson I learned all too well.  It wasn't Robots or Ninjas (they became a thing in 2025, don't ask) or cyborgs (2030) or zombies (2035), but keys. I lost the keys to the car.  Its a simple thing, right? I mean people lose their car keys, but not if you are a Taxi Driver.  You are expected to be the best of the best.   You are in the care of this 2 million dollar vehicle.  It is smarter than you are, but you are its human face.

If you lose your keys; its like mixing up the medication on your elderly grandparent.  Who wouldn't want to steal a taxi?

So of course my Taxi fired me.  I don't blame it.

But being unemployed is a 60 hour job now; you never have time to train or look for a real job.   Church, dancing, proxy voting, training in the Trump value book..it never ends.

I enjoyed my moment in the sun.  I regret nothing.

Except losing my keys.

[Writer Stuff] Broadleaf Writer's Association

A friend of mine belongs to these guys.  There website can be found here.  I am doing grant writing for them because they're a worthy cause.  If you are an indy author, you need all the help you can get.  Now there are writing associations in Miami, but for one reason or another they haven't really appealed to me yet.  I'll find the right fit, but Decatur and Atlanta has a thriving literary tradition, and the Broadleaf association is the perfect example of how such an association should work ideally.

[Script] Peter Pan vs Frankenstein vs Superman - Page 6

(Superman flies over to Denny and hovers in front of her)

Superman: Shame on you for kicking that poor man in the testacles? Do you have any idea how much that hurts a male human?

Denny: He's not human anymore.  He's more fae than human.  And he's been stalking my family for over a hundred years.  He's the ultimate pedophile.

Superman: Ew.  Is this true? (Looks at Peter)

Peter: OW.  No.  I am just an innocent....

Twinkerbell tinkles and agrees.

(Superman puts his hands on his hips.)
Superman: Well clearly this is a kettle of fish in a barrel of monkeys.

(Dr Frankenstein and Frankenstein and Denny all look at each other confused.)

Denny: What?

Superman: There is only one way to deal with this...

Denny: A court of law where he respects the restraining order we took out 50 years ago?

Superman: Silly girl.  No.  Obviously this calls for a Bike Race.

(Dr. Frankenstein, Twinkerbell, Peter, Frankenstein all nod in agreement as if this makes perfect sense.  Denny looks incredulous.)

Denny: What?!

[Heliotrope] The Museum of Erotic Art - Miami

It is a known fact that Miami was established in large part for the entertainment of the Sunfires, who are royalty in Outer Fae.  What is not known so well is for the last hundred or fourty years; the city and all Outer Fairy has been under the iron grip of Grandfather Fiddleback.  Large amounts of this are already documented in the Heliotropic Book of Fairy tales which will eventually be released to the public.

Grandfather Fiddleback has systematically destroyed control of the Sunfires from the city one bastion at a time.  The Sunfires are relaxed, open to art an generally approve of being relaxed about sexuality; the Fiddlebacks are exactly the opposite.   In the 13th century, Miriam Fiddleback first imported large amounts of monotheistic ritual and worship into the state sponsored religion of Fiddleback territory.  You'd think in a realm of actual magic, a religion that offered almost nothing in the way of actual results or power for its worshippers would be ignored by the populace, even if it was imposed at the point of the sword, but you'd be wrong.  The Ooga Booga (what the Fiddleback mockery of Christianity and various other earth religions was called) proved to be quite popular, such that it was spread to other worlds.

So, bottom line, the World Exotic Art Museum, contrary to expectations is not secretly owned and staffed by Fae.  But it is, however, patroned by them.  The owner of the collection there, was one of the worlds great patrons of erotic art; and at one point one of them was kind to a member of House Sunfire.  Like all those who have even a drop of Fae blood, courtesy is repaid forever and unkindness is also repaid forever.  It is what makes individuals like Mr. Kind so deadly; they just o good in the world with no expectation of return and as result gain actually the more.  Of course, horrible horrible horrible things can and still do happen to good people but that is another story.

This quiet invisible struggle is not actually by a sunfire.  Except for Michael, they're all snuffed out; but one of the ladies in waiting by Wisdom Sunfire; Charity, who has carefully protected all of the artistic spots of Miami an the doors between Outer Fae and Terra so that at least the nobles could visit and see that Terrans were capable of amazing things and worthy of respect.  Charity employes several guards that stand viligant at all times, ready to help any noble bold enough to defy Fiddleback a way through; by right passage is theirs.  In practice, it just doesn't happen because Priests of the Ooga Booga stand guard in Sunfire City and Miami, disguised as regular folks to report anyone who defies Fiddleback and the Ooga Booga.

[Script] Peter Pan vs Frankenstein vs Superman - Page 5

Denny: What the fuck is going on here?

Superman: It should be obvious, this young man is being crushed by this monster.

Denny: First, his name is Frank.  He's a very sensitive soul.
(Denny walks forward and hugs Frankenstein.  Doctor Frankenstein looks uncomfortable at the humanization of his creation)

Peter Pan: No, I'm just an innocent victim in this

(Frankenstein crushes Peter's neck more, making him purple.)

Superman: Cut that out this instant!
(Flies faster than the speed of film and grabs Frankenstein's hand.  Frankenstein looks shocked and drops Peter in pain.  Peter immediately flies over and begins licking Denny's cheek.)

Denny: Ew!
(Kicks Peter in the testacles.  Peter stops licking and writhes around on the floor in pain.)