[Play] A Hand Grenade Loose in King Arthur's Court - Act 2, Scene 9

 Scene 9

Herald One and Herald Two come on stage

Herald One

All throughout the land, people began to remember the thousands of lives they had lived before.

Herald Two

Lives lost and loves won.

Herald One

Skills gained and promises kept

Herald Two

Wisdom earned and secrets unlocked

Herald One

And so it was that Camelot aged that day

Herald Two

And thus the earned wisdom gained them a martial hand

Herald One

Its true.  Even the lowlist field remembered the last battle fought before the loop was run, a thousand thousand times

Herald Two

Mordreds forces, already harried by Grenademan’s insane devices, became routed

Herald One

And there was much weary rejoining.

Herald Two

And much bittersweet sadness, for all were resolved that this would be the last life they would live

Herald One

And so it was that many lives were changed that day.  Not all, of course.  Some were perfectly content as they were and always had been and always would be.

Herald Two

Never underestimate the capacity of a fool to be such.

Herald One

But for more

Herald Two

For most

Herald One

They awakened in them something new.  Thus the golden age of the West, its time of innocence, the foundation of half the nations of Europe and those that became imprinted on that culture as an ideal, became something more.  Much more.

Herald Two

A golden age of philosophy, science, art, literature, justice, and good governance.  There were still wars and plagues and calumnies but for some

Herald One

Some

Herald Two

There spread in the root of time on many earths a golden age that changed them for the better, and the game board became a foundation of democracy; the worlds changed, the stories changed, and when it was understood that Good does not need to end in tragedy or the unobtainable, betrayal and dust, they changed their thinking

Herald One

Wolves of the pack; to be proactive and fierce in protecting their liberty and freedoms, but protecting their own and nurturing the good of all for their own self interest.

Herald Two

Frank Noble, AKA Grenademan, had undone the curse they did not even know they were under.

Herald One

But his work was not done yet.

Herald Two

One more act for the hero to perform.

Scene 9

Herald One and Herald Two come on stage

Herald One

All throughout the land, people began to remember the thousands of lives they had lived before.

Herald Two

Lives lost and loves won.

Herald One

Skills gained and promises kept

Herald Two

Wisdom earned and secrets unlocked

Herald One

And so it was that Camelot aged that day

Herald Two

And thus the earned wisdom gained them a martial hand

Herald One

Its true.  Even the lowlist field remembered the last battle fought before the loop was run, a thousand thousand times

Herald Two

Mordreds forces, already harried by Grenademan’s insane devices, became routed

Herald One

And there was much weary rejoining.

Herald Two

And much bittersweet sadness, for all were resolved that this would be the last life they would live

Herald One

And so it was that many lives were changed that day.  Not all, of course.  Some were perfectly content as they were and always had been and always would be.

Herald Two

Never underestimate the capacity of a fool to be such.

Herald One

But for more

Herald Two

For most

Herald One

They awakened in them something new.  Thus the golden age of the West, its time of innocence, the foundation of half the nations of Europe and those that became imprinted on that culture as an ideal, became something more.  Much more.

Herald Two

A golden age of philosophy, science, art, literature, justice, and good governance.  There were still wars and plagues and calumnies but for some

Herald One

Some

Herald Two

There spread in the root of time on many earths a golden age that changed them for the better, and the game board became a foundation of democracy; the worlds changed, the stories changed, and when it was understood that Good does not need to end in tragedy or the unobtainable, betrayal and dust, they changed their thinking

Herald One

Wolves of the pack; to be proactive and fierce in protecting their liberty and freedoms, but protecting their own and nurturing the good of all for their own self interest.

Herald Two

Frank Noble, AKA Grenademan, had undone the curse they did not even know they were under.

Herald One

But his work was not done yet.

Herald Two

One more act for the hero to perform.

[Play] A Hand Grenade Loose in King Arthur's Court - Act 2, Scene 8

 Scene 8

Arthur, Pelinor, Lancelot and Grenademan are in the throne room, with Arthur in his throne, his knights by his side and Grenademan in front of them.

Arthur

So you can see how this looks, Sir Grenademan?

Grenademan

I DO KING ARTHUR.  I WAS ABSTRACTLY AWARE OF THE TALES OF WHAT MORGAN HAD DONE BUT NOT THE SPECIFICS OF HER VILLANY HERE.

Arthur

I will never understand this business of my life being a story elsewhere, but I trust your honor enough to accept it.  The bibble spilled by Morgana seems to back that up.  But what specifically happened when you went with her?

Grenademan

WE TRAVELED TO AN OBELISK AND I BLEW IT UP.

Pelinor

Can you describe this Obelisk?

Grenademan

IT WAS A BLACK OBELISK WITH WRITING ON IT.

Pelinor

And what happened when you made it a former Obelisk?

Grenademan

OBERON WAS LESS THAN PLEASED AND TOOK MORGANA AND MERLIN FOR PUNISHMENT.

Pelinor

I see.  I do not claim to know much of the Fae but this is most troubling.

Arthur

So this was supposed to somehow free us from the cycle of usage by these two beings?

Grenademan

THAT IS CORRECT.

Lancelot

That might be the source of these strange dreams I’m having.

Pelinor

Like what?

Lancelot

Where I fell in love with an ice skater.

Pelinor 

I had that dream

Arthur

What is an ice skater?

Lancelot

Did you have the one about the Taxidermist?

Pelinor

I did! He was amazing

Arthur

What is a Taxidermist?

Lancelot

This would explain the strange dreams that people have been having all over the kingdom

Pelinor

We must put out word immediately and start to write these down so that our memories aren’t lost again.

Arthur

WHAT memories?

Grenademan

THE MEMORIES YOU LOST EACH TIME ORDER AND CHAOS RESET THE LOOP

Arthur

Oh.  (beat) Well then, let it be done!  While we still have time.

(Pelinor and Lancelot speed off)

Micronation - Chapter 1 - Watson to the Nutjob

Quiessence Prow hires a snarky assistant to take him around the world with his bodyguard and girl Friday, Darla to solve mysteries.  The first chapter is how Watson is hired, how Watson learns that Watson can be an honorific like Ceaser, and how Watson learns that he really really really really wishes he hadn't taken this job.

Check out this episode!

[Play] A Handgrenade Loose in King Arthur's Court - Act 2 Scene 7

 Scene 7 

Two Heralds Show Up

Herald One

And so Merlin and Morgana were cast into a realm of torture for defying Oberon.

Herald Two

And Grenademan returned to Camelot, where he proceeded to teach them of all manner of things involving technology.

Herald One

But there was a worm in the apple.

Herald Two

Rot in the gut.

Herald One

For you see Sir Galahad and Sir Kay went about court whispering of how Grenademan had went off with Morgana

Herald Two

And so doubt began to flow throughout the court about the honor of the so called champion who had helped them find the grail.

Herald One

Arthur and Pelinor and Lancelot fought these rumors of course, vigorously denying that Grenademan was evil, but as Mordred continued ravaging the land, every little loss was turned into a massive one.  

Herald Two

Every victory downplayed as certain doom.

Herald One

Make no mistake, Arthur was winning.

Herald Two

Mordred was on the ropes.

Herald One 

And yet, rumor continued to spread until Arthur felt he had to address the issue directly in front of the entire court.

Mommeries - Chapter 32 - A Ray of Light

Josie meets and dates Skip.  Skip meets the family.  They court each other and eventually become common law spouses.

Check out this episode!

[Play] A Hand Grenade Loose in King Arthur's Court - Act 2, Scene 6

 Scene 6

(Lights Rise) There is a large obelisk with some writing on it, Morgana and Grenademan stand before it

Morgana

And this lovely phallic object clearly not compensating for something among the greater powers of the universe is the Obelisk of Demarkation.

Grenademan

AND IF WE BLOW THIS UP WE END THEIR CYCLE?

Morgana

Yup.

Grenademan

STAND BACK.

Morgana

Don’t mind if I do.  (Moves away)

Grenademan

TO FIGHT THE FORCES OF EVIL! (Grenademan tosses a grenade and nothing happens except it bounces off the obelisk harmlessly)

(beat)

Huh.  INTERESTING.

Morgana

Order has a habit of preventing things like explosions when he wants.

Grenademan

BUT CHAOS CAN ENHANCE THEM?

Morgana

Well yes, but Chaos is under penalty right now, so Order is stronger than Chaos in this realm.  

Grenademan

AH, BASIC SCIENCE THEN.

Morgana

How in Hades is that Science?

Grenademan

BY REVERSING THE POLARITY OF THE UNIVERSAL CONSTANT OF GRAVITY AND PLANCK'S CONSTANT BY MAKING IT SCALED TO THE BACKGROUND DARK MATTER INTERCHANGED WITH THE MAGNETIC QUANTUM THROMBOTIZER 

(takes off several grenades from his bandolier and does mechanical things with them.  Director may provide a bench and a hammer that Grenademan can hammer on the bench and then turns around holding up a grenade in his hand smiling widely)

CHAOS GRENADE!  

Morgana

That was literally just a literal random splattering of science gibberish, wasn't it?

Grenademan

A CRITICAL COMPONENT OF MAKING A CHAOS GRENADE IS CHAOS.

Morgana

I….guess…that makes sense.  As much as pretty much anything you say or do can be.

Grenademan

STAND BACK!

Morgana

(beat)

I never got any closer after the first time.

Grenademan

TO FIGHT THE FORCES OF EVIL AND ORDER! (tosses Grenade)

There is a mighty explosion and the Obelisk is destroyed.  (The Director may consider making the obelisk inflatable and suddenly deflate in a highly audible fashion.)

Oberon (Voice Over)

WHO DARES DESTROY OBERON’S OBELISK?

Grenademan

IT IS I, GRENADEMAN, HERE WITH MORGANA.

Morgana

Leave me out of this.

Oberon (Voice Over)

THE CHAMPION OF ORDER PROMOTED THIS?

Morgana

Promoted? More like…suggested…vaguely.  Provided information.

OBERON (Voice Over)

BOTH ORDER AND CHAOS ARE IN PENALTY.

Grenademan

AND THUS TRIUMPHS THE FORCES OF GOOD!

Morgana

Fuck.

(Lights Dim, Morgana Screams)

Swamp Castle - Darwin's Cellphone

I wrote this story back in 2006, and read it and then offering a writing critique; the Spirit of the 20th Century convinces a waiter to steal a priceless fake artifact to accelerate the demise of a corrupt society.

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