[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Christmas Appropriation

Milo Mindbender In A Santa Hat

Dry humping A Zip Tied Ball Gagged Krampus

Smacking His Lips On Santa Jerky

Flicking A Platinum Coin

At Tiny Tiny Tim In a Hamster Wheel

To Power The  Organ of Shrieks

From Three Bound Ghosts of Christmas Past Present and Future

To his Demented Musical Delight  

Sits Back on a Genuine Leather Arm Chair Made

Of Dasher Leather

Sipping Hot Cocoa Laced With the Rare Imported Grinch Blood

While Max Looks Out the Window with Sad Wide Eyes

The House Always Wins

And its Good To Be The King.

[Poem] The 31 Carols of Christmas - Dickens

Christmas existed before Christmas

Saturnalia and Mithras

Christmas existed before what we conceive of 

As Christmas

A holiday that celebrated the birth

of The Desert Messiah

But

But

But

The mythology of a better world

A world where Samsurra or Satan 

Or the tyranny of the Demon Deceiver

Wrapped us up in our personal hells

That the mirage of banality the Skeptic bane

Made to only fantasize  that we could escape to a simulation

A world where 

Even only for a month

The promise of the New Testament

Of The Beatitudes

Of a Better World

Were True

And

In Some ways

Ironically

Christmas Is Real 

The Man Who Invented Christmas

Is Real

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

Is Real

Dickens

Im His Story of Three Ghosts scolding a Capitalist

For BEING a good Capitalist

And he listens

And actually gives a shit about humanity

That part sadly

Is most definitely fiction

And capitalists have been Capitalizing on Christmas

Ever since

But the spirit of the thing

A better world

It is real

Love it or hate it

Everyone in the world is touched by it

Every religion has created or adjusted their holidays

To capture or mirror that feeling

That very real magic

The Nightmare Before Christmas Skeleton Jack

Where we all laboratory our Tinsel

Boiling Toiling the Wonder

Of How

How

How

Do we make it real

Ironically

No Invisible Power can enslave us

If we dont have enough people willing to be assholes

To each other

Why cant every day be Christmas?

It can

I believe

Eventually

It will

Dickens saw it first

We literally just have to believe

And

I do

Emphasis on

Eventually

......

Very

Very

Very

Eventually

[Poem] Developer User Interface

Few professions

Are as wonderful

Or as Stupid 

As the Developer

Give them a lever large enough

And they will move the world

Give them a problem

and they are the ultimae wizards of 

HOW

But for What Why When

Or Gods Help Us All

Why

They are Circus Clowns

Every stupid button

Every annoying slider

Or garbage crap

If it wasnt enshittification for money

It was an idiot developer

Trying to automated something

They shouldnt

Probably

Due to Hubris

Or Laziness

https://mastodon.social/@rticks/111455743716265288

[Poem] Poem of the Third

This one is gonna be weird

Not gonna share it

So if the weird or disturbing stuff

Sets you on edge

Or makes you feel

Like you are chewing tinfoil

This is one to skip 

Gentle reader

Ahem

And he spoke to them in Parables

Because he did not want to be deplatformed

Go read the Parable of the Ten Talents

In the Bible

I will wait

Good

That guy

Went and used his 1000 talents of gold

(Side fact ladies and gents

A talent is kinma close to 66 pounds

Or 1.5 million dollars

So the king 

Made him a fucking nillionare)

And made himself 

A science comoany

(I warned you this gets weird)

And performed a Human Centipede style experiment

And grafted the head of the King onto his son

While they were both alive and screaming

The nillionare Gold Guy (we will just call him the nillionare now)

Then took the second talent guy

And stole all his talents

And scattered him to the four corners of the Earth

And then he cloned

The king/prince again and again

Rebooting his memory

Like that movie The Island

And still paraded clones

Of the King Monster around

Until some rando showed up

And claimed that All Gold Guys stuff

Belong to him

And sporked Gold Guy

And they Sporked each other 

While the clones crawled back to the lab

And tried to put Humpty Dumpty 

Back Together Again

And the Prince was OK

And slightly normal

But he was the Prince

Not the king

Amd then the army of clone kings

(Army of Kangs?)

Went nuts

And randomly distributed gold

Randomly

And then said second talent guy

And his descendants

Got the kingdom for a while

And then Batman showed up

For...

Reasons.

Yeah this isnt a good story

Its just an accurate one

If you know what is going on

Which you dont want to

Trust me

Why are you reading this again?

Anyway Batman goes and finds...

Er...

Superman

And superman looks at the Army of Mad Kinds

And rounds em all up

And puts em in Arkham

But some kings are mean

And some are  evil fucking Jokers

And this one king that gave the kingdom back

To second talent guy

Along with several other kings

Were evaluated by Superman

To see if they could be rehabilitated or not

Anyway

Remember that obscure Bat Villain

The Ventriloquist?

Who had a dummy that killed people

But 'forgot' what the Dummy did

Why the fuck are you still here?

Anyway the Ventriloquist was really really fucking suprised

To be in the same category as Joker and Riddler

And a bunch of Kangs

But there he was

And he was not there

To keep Gotham PD

From taking Gotham

Back for the original owners

Turns out

The gold the king gave

Wasnt his to give in the first place

And

Superman

Gave

It

Back

See if I dont

[Poem] The Bad Space

bu Emmit Other

On Mastodon

The Only Major Social Media

Free of Algoaddictive Crap

There is a fascinating struggle

From a Welsh Pixie TERF(D) 

Who built her a trap

She forged an alliance w a Narcissist

Named Ro The Arrogant Twat

He is Black and Bisexual

A fact for a second he never lets be forgot

Few months ago a rando

Made an account called the Goodspace to show

That half of their blocklist was anti LGBT

And it was led by a bigot named Ro

Ro has a patreon 

Where he earns thousands of dollars for this

So he rallied bis bigot black friends

And accused the accusers of this

Anyone who challenges their bigotry

Is a racist a pedo and more

He will not surrender his block list

He even expanded it more

But Mastodon is a Federation

It just moved around him in spaced

Despite Daily Sock puppets and patsies

His blocklist has been quite outpaced

Though Welsh Pixie is quite rotten

I have confidence she and Ro's antics

Will soon be all quite forgotten

The lesson here 

Is perfectly clear

Dont bet on the underdog

When the Underdog bite the hand that feeds it.

Poems of Gods

Pantheoragnarok

by Emmit Other 

Can you see it?

Can you hear it?

The skies shake

To an electric guitar

As renegade gods

Kick against the pricks

Refusing to answer

For being fucking dicks

They broke their word

And now there's a trial

King Kong of spirit Power

Is in fucking self denial

I took you at your value

I took you at your word

To think that I wont hold you to it

Is fucking stupidly absurd

So I found a bigger gorilla

Now you can sit down

And take your medicine

You fucking Goddy  tawdy clown

While someone who is bigger

Washes your lying mouth with soap

Keep up your games in my life

As I give you room to hang yourself

Here take mote fucking rope

The Trial Begins

by Emmit Other

The Angels of the God of Gods

Swing around the trial venue

The least charge first

Those who kept their word

Made honest mistakes

Until those who lied

And made false promises

They never intended to keep

Because they thought 

Nothing was bigger

Or more powerful than them

They were all wrong

Including

Every single shard

Of the Broken Desert God

Especially

Especially 

Especially

Republican One

At the height of their power

At the nadir of their joy

A monster on the Soeaker's chair

A miracle occurs

But

Not

For

Them

Because their God

Is in unbreakable chains

Indicted

Just like hos satanic

Orange David.

KOSA and Drunk Senator Markey and Drunk Senator Warren

The Kids Online Safety Act is a Bipartisan Bill meant to "Protect the Children" "For the Children" and to stick it to "Big Tech" (which I made a series about called The Sins of Silicon Valley) but this wont protect kids and will help nazis hurt LGBT kids and help nazis track teens seeking abortion.  Drunk Senator Warren and Drunk Senator Markey and 18 of their 'liberal' and 'progressive' collegues in the Senate don't care.  They must be primaries.

Check out this episode!