Oops

Written by T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin

Originally written for the 500 Writing website (http://www.the-five-hundred.com)

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[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 55

Henchman #1

Don’t bring one!

 

Chainsaw Fred starts to fight the four of them, beating them all until Henchman #1 goes for his gun, and shoots Fred, who goes down.

Henchman #1

Well…what do you know. One that wasn’t bullet proof.

 

Henchman #2

Must have been the sidekick. 

Henchman #3

Can’t be….has a better costume.

 

Henchman #1

Good point.

 

INT. WAREHOUSE WITH DEVICE - DAY

Hawkqueen, Inoria, Frank, and Fred are all chained to a wall. Doc Shadows and J.R.R. Thorne enter. There are gleaming control panels all about. The device they saw before is now in front of them. 

DOC Shadows

Ah, I see you’re awake.  

J.R.R. Thorne

Just in time for me to reveal my evil plan. 

DOC SHADOWS

If you don’t mind, I’ve got things to do. This is nothing I haven’t heard before. 

Inoria

I didn’t think ANYONE revealed their evil plans anymore. Not after Hopscotch made a fool of himself on national television. 

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 54

Henchman #2

He’s even loud when he screams in pain.

 

Henchman #1

Actually in practice I’ve found that most people are loud when they scream.

 

Henchman #2

You’ve got a legitimate point there, hadn’t thought of that.

 

From a distance, a car drives up with its headlights on. It comes to a stop and CHAINSAW FRED comes out dressed in a hockey mask with bullet proof riot gear type armor and a rather large, nasty looking chainsaw. He starts the chainsaw. 

Henchman #2

ANOTHER one? Sheesh, this must be two for one day. 

Henchman #1 takes out the gun and gets ready to shoot.

Henchman #2

Don’t you EVER get tired of paying for more wasted ammo? 

Henchman #1

Right.

Henchman #1 puts the gun away, Henchmen 1-4 proceed toward Chainsaw Fred while Henchman #5 continues to kick Grenademan.

 

Henchman #2

At least this one had the sense to bring a chainsaw-whoa! 

Henchman #3

Well you know what they say about bringing a knife to a gunfight.

 

Henchman #4

What do they say about bringing a knife to a gunfight?

Grenademan Vs the Zombies Chapter 3 - Part 2

by T. C. Ricks

Performed by Matt Franklin, Edited by Fiona Skye

The family comes to the realization that this is all horrifically real.

Now for sale on Amazon.

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 53

Henchman #2

Right. Looks like we do this the old fashioned way. 

Henchman #4

Kick the crap out of him?

 

Henchman #2

That’s it.

 

The Henchmen proceed to circle Grenademan.  

GRENADEMAN

HAHA! NOW YOU SHALL FACE THE WRATH OF THE MIGHTY –(interrupted)

The henchmen begin to clobber him and then stop. 

Henchman #2

What was that?

 

GRENADEMAN

THE MIGHTY FISTS OF –oof (interrupted again)

 

The henchmen begin to clobber him again.

Henchman #1

The mighty fists of oof? So is that your name? The Mighty Oof….funny, swap a letter there and I get oaf. 

Henchman #3

Hey, his grenades tinkle when I kick him…it makes kind of a musical sound.

 

Henchman #4

Say you’re right-it does. 

GRENADEMAN

OW! 

Henchman #2

He’s even loud when he screams in pain.

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 52

Henchman #3

Yeah? You remember that job we did for Deathroach? Captain Potato showed up, we must have unloaded at least what? 

Henchman #2

Half a dozen bullets into him and (interrupted)

Henchman #1

Whatever.

Henchman #1 shoots his gun at Grenademan. Grenademan successfully lobs the grenade but also gets knocked back. 

Henchman #1

There, see?

 

Grenademan stands back up.

GRENADEMAN

HAHA VILE FORCES OF EVIL! I CANNOT BE-

 

Henchman #1 shoots the gun again and Grenademan goes down again. Grenademan stands back up. Again. 

GRENADEMAN

BEHOLD FORCES OF EVIL! I CANNOT BE DEFEATED!

 

Henchman #1 starts walking up and points the gun inches from Grenademan’s forehead, cocks it one more time.

Henchman #1

Bounce this…

(interrupted)

The grenade explodes behind him, a blinding flare goes off. The shot goes wild. 

GRENADEMAN

HAHA! ONCE AGAIN THE FORCES OF GOOD TRIUMPH OVER THE FORCES OF EVIL! 

Update and Forever West

The first few chapters of Forever West are now available online.

I am ill today so not sure how much writing I'll get done.  The story a week thing isn't going to work.  It's too much too fast, and even though I've got some neat tricks, I believe the cycle will require 8 business days with a story being edited, a story being planned, and a story being written.  Planning the short story out in advance makes a titanic difference.  I divide it into five parts, now thinking four, and add to them in the story so I know where the story is going before I even start writing the second part, I know where I'm writing TO.

I'm at 4000 words on "Making Hitler"
2000 words on "Becoming a Demon"
The story being preplanned is "Rash Decision" where a father uses gene theraphy on his children to make them less 'wimpy' with predictable results.  Will likely be short, but I love the premise to the point I'm going to write it.

Weekends are going to be for scripts, and assuming I'm still not disastrously ill, I'll be starting this weekend.

Getting it Right

by T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin

Originally written for The 500 writing site (http://www.the-five-hundred.com)

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[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 51

GRENADEMAN

HMM…UPON EXAMINATION OF THE SURROUNDING BUILDINGS, IT APPEARS THAT THERE ARE LITTLE OR NO DEFENSES. A SIMPLE DIRECT ASSAULT SHOULD BE SUFFICIENT. 

Five security guards open the door to one of the buildings next to the fence. They don’t look happy.

Henchman #1

Hello there. What’s this? 

Henchman #2

Seems to be some kind of super hero.

Henchman #1

Super hero eh? Looks more like Tack man.

 

Henchman #3

I’ve got a bulletin. 

Henchman #4

News flash, there’s a guy with a thumbtack on his head that’s about to get the crap beaten out of him.

 

GRENADEMAN

FEAR OH FORCES OF EVIL! WOE UNTO YOU AS I LIFT THIS MIGHTY HAND GRENADE INTO THE AIR 

Henchman #1

Woe be unto you as I take my Glock 22 and lift it into the air and cock it like so. 

GRENADEMAN

AND TOSS IT AT THE FORCES OF EVIL 

Henchman #2

Wait a minute, aren’t these guys usually bullet proof? 

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 50

GRENADEMAN

YES INDEED CITIZENS, I AM MAKING MY ESCAPE FROM THIS LAIR OF MENTAL HEALTH, OFF AND YONDER TO STOP THE INSIDIOUS CHICKENMASTER AND HIS FOUL MINIONS FROM DESTROYING ALL WE HOLD DEAR. 

SECURITY GOON #1

Someone’s gotta turn the volume down on this guy. 

SECURITY GOON #3

Maybe we can get him to take some valium. Hey, where’s he going! 

GRENADEMAN

TALLYHO!

Grenademan tosses an explosive grenade that blows off the bars on one of the windows. He leaps out of it.

SECURITY GOON #2

I really don’t want to write the report up on this one, do you? 

SECURITY GOON #1

Nope-but we already called the cops. You going after him? 

SECURITY GOON #2

No way.

The doors in the hallway begin to open. The inmates look at the hole in the barred window. Dozens of them begin to run for the hole in the wall. The Security goons panic and run away. 

EXT. KENSINGTON RESEARCH FACILITY - NIGHT

Grenademan drives up on a motorcycle.

Grenademan Vs the Zombies Chapter 3 Part 1

by T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin

The group slowly rallies immediate family and friends and ponders what to do.

Edited by Fiona Skye

Now available on Amazon!

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 49

SECURITY GOON #1

There he is!

 

SECURITY GOON #2

Get im! 

Frank ducks back inside and closes the closet.

INT. CLOSET – NIGHT

He looks at the mask again. He puts it on. The guards bust the door open.

SECURITY GOON #1

He’s got that stuff-holy cow! He’s armed to the teeth!

The Security goons scatter back around the corner of the hall. 

SECURITY GOON #1

Somebody call the cops! 

SECURITY GOON #3

Already did, they’re on their way. 

GRENADEMAN

YO HO! FORSOOTH, WHAT WHAT TALLYHO AND ALL THAT, FOR BEHOLD AND THEREUNTO AND SUCH YAY VERILY, BEHOLD AND MARKED WITH WHAT AND WITH WHAT UNTO THE BOLD BEYOND.

INT. HALL IN THE ASSYLUM - NIGHT

SECURITY GOON #1

What the heck was all that? 

SECURITY GOON #2

You mean besides complete garbledygook…I think he’s trying to sound superher-GRENADE!

The goon points to a grenade skittering across the floor.

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 48

Voice #2

Shame? 

Voice #1

This one showed so much promise. 

Voice #2

The only promise this one shows is that he’s going to be here for a very long time.

Frank sits alone in his cell for a few seconds. There is perfect silence, followed by the occasional moaning, punctuated by more silence. Frank sees that they left the mask inside of the cell.

Frank looks at the door and then looks at the mask.

Frank gets a look of determination on his face and pretends to be asleep. Eventually the door opens and a caretaker comes in to get the mask.

SECURITY GOON #1

What idiot left this in here? Hey you, get up. The doc wants to see ya.

Frank springs up and slams into the guard, overpowering him. He runs out of the open door.  Frank runs into a hall in the sanitarium. An alarm is sounding; Frank enters a closet market, “Storage”. Several workers come by looking for him.

INT. CLOSET - NIGHT

Frank enters the closet and cuts the straightjacket tie on a ragged piece of shelving. He spots his personal effects.

INT. HALL IN ASSYLUM - NIGHT

Frank emerges dressed as Grenademan, sans the mask. 

Frank

If I put it on….I may never come back out again.

Several large looks security goons come in and move toward him. Frank tosses a grenade at them but forgets to pull the pin.

The Process by Day

Lest I forget, I'm writing my notes down.  Obviously, this will not always match up exactly, but I want to try it at least...All of these assume I already have an idea but given that the good ideas list is up to 40, that's not that hard.

Week 1
Day 1- Determine target audience...different magazines have different standards and even within the same genre little things can matter
Day 2 - Map out major story points, character etc
Day 3- Develop backstory/universe
Day 4- Write first paragraph
Day 5- Refine Day 1-4

Week 2
Write Story

Week 3
Day 1 Do basic pass
Day 2 Poetry pass
Day 3 Grammar check
Day 4 Tenses/Common Words/Who am I?
Day 5 Dialog check

Writing Progress

Have had a few set backs on writing.  Lost my notebook, and the first story I started with, "Making Hitler" involves time travel and Nazis, which are hard for me to write, but it was a request so I am still going to finish it.

But I am starting the "industrial" part from scratch to try and get the rhythm right.  Even if it doesn't quite work I will adjust the process accordingly. 

At a high level, I want to do the prework the first week, the bulk writing the second, and the first edit pass the third.  Then I bury it for three months and do another edit pass.

It does mean choosing structures  that can be written in a week, 2500-5000 words but doesn't account for writer's block.

We'll try it first with the first story from my ideas list,"Becoming a Demon"

Eating the Seed Corn

Performed by Matt Franklin, Written by T.C. Ricks

Written for the 500 monthly writing site.

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[500] Nickelodean Discordian

For "This Too Shall Pass" in December by T.C. Ricks Hello. And welcome to the Basalt Causality Generator Attraction. Please relax and strap yourselves in. By harnessing the singularity inside of a black hole and tapping into a local super string, we here at Basalt enterprises allow you to experience the full cat of the rectangle eating pizza. The forthrightness of the meaty hand that feeds the kittens with great tenderness upon the frothy beards of giant feet tickling the rectangles of the nectar of nighttime gods eating the things no man could comprehend from beyond the ninth winter wall of breakneck speeds into an alley from which no return was possible, the second time around. Do not be alarmed as this can cause headaches of the fourth and red lightning striking the stroke of midnight which streams with bleeding pain into the cobwebs of sorrow as they adroitly down the stone wall to a firm granite foundation of gelatin sold in Popsicle form by the rappist who rhymes with the music only hearable by the slithering snake among the stars of dimensions uncounted, behold the sky parting, behold the peeling back of time to reveal that which must not be known and cannot be remembered; words without meaning and stakes of all things unmentionable, unspeakable, not horror but a perfect sanity, the perfect understanding and reversal of entropy, that horrible eternity, the static spiritual equinox of balance and chi, the nightmare of heaven and paradise and the absolute understanding that justice is absolute and meaningless before the throne of the wrong God unspeakable in its nameless name pounding off every atom in all of creation in every world or shadow of worlds which cannot exist yet do between the electrons, perceived in the nameless dark of every child's bed on which the kinky kinking of twisted seduction beyond the travesty that is innocence can no longer reveal the ignorance of chained tomes that are made of flesh and bone that rot in the ground untouched beyond time and beyond the stasis which only things from beyond the curtain of reality can ignore, that flat thing we call our world that is no more than a thin disincorporated shadow on the plethora of wisps without shame or number in the tesseract unending ever bending of the things unseen by all but the third eye, which even now is blinded by truths for which not only words can not be formed, but are prevented from forming by their mere existence snuffing out the synapses of any lesser being that dare prethinking them before they even thank you for trying out our attraction. While you are here, don't forget to try the devolution chamber and the ring toss. Remember, if you get a hundred tickets, you can have a small stuffed animal. If you get a thousand tickets, you can get your very own giant panda (stuffed). Have a pleasant evening. The exit is to your left. Come again!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 47

Dansen

Some cop you are. Come on, let’s get out of here. You’re being awfully quiet there Captain Cosmos

Smirk

You would be too if your world just turned upside down. 

The two cops take Frank away in the squad car.

INT. FRED’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Fred turns around and sees his wife and children there looking very upset and angry. Fred hangs his head and sighs.

INT. PADDED CELL - NIGHT

Frank is inside a Padded Cell again and in a straight jacket. Doctors can be heard talking outside of the cell.

Voice #1

Goodnight Dr. Noble, we’ll resume counseling in the morning. It’s good to have you back. 

Voice #2

I always knew he was crazy, just pretending to be sane/ 

Voice #1

Yes, it seems you were right. 

Voice #2

Darn right I was. Nobody ever listens to me. Even though I’m the one that works with them all day. I’m the one that can see that little cackle in their eyes, the way it gleams. 

Voice #1

Yes, well it does seem that sadly, this time you were right. What a shame. 

Voice #2

Shame?