[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 62

Hawkqueen

Make it stop! Make the evil stop! 

GRENADEMAN

EVIL?! THERE IS EVIL ABOUT? 

CANDY QUEEN

No, there is no evil about, but please, come sit and join us for a lovely meal. 

CHAINSAW FRED

There is something defiantly just wrong here. It doesn’t feel good. 

Inoria

I know. Besides being insipid-it just makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up-I mean the way they’re looking at us-it’s almost as if they were… 

CANDY CHORUS

Hungry! Hungry Hungry Hungry for some human flesh

Tastes so good with ketchup and a good potato mesh

Gobble up the heroes and throw them in the stew

Creeping up to fill our bellies we’ll all eat you! 

Chainsaw Fred starts his chainsaw.

CHAINSAW FRED

That’s what I thought.

Inoria

You know it makes sense in a morbid sort of way… 

Hawkqueen

What? 

Grenademan Vs Zombies Chapter 4 Part 2

Jarvi gets to work destroying the world.

Written by T.C. Ricks

Performed by Matt Franklin

Edited by Fiona Skye

Available on Amazon

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 61

Inoria

It looks like we’ve come through some sort of dimensional rift….we’re in (interrupted) 

Hawkqueen

We’re in-where the hell are we? 

CANDY QUEEN

Why, you are in Candy Land!  

CANDY CHORUS

We welcome you to Candy Land,

Candy Land, Candy Land

We’re so happy that you’re here in Candy Land, We Want to Happy Dance With Joy 

CHAINSAW FRED

I almost wish we HAD been killed back there.  

Inoria

Insipidity is getting rather tangible isn’t it? 

GRENADEMAN

GREETINGS DENIZENS OF CANDY LAND! I, GRENADEMAN AM HERE TO PROTECT YOU FROM THE FORCES OF EVIL! 

CANDY QUEEN

But, but there is no evil in Candy Land. Only happy lovely candy. 

CANDY CHORUS

Happy Lovely Candy on a Sunshine Day

Lovely Groovy Gumdrops and some Liquorish Hay

Have a lumpy dumpy blip bop time

We all wish you could stay and play! 

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 60

DOC SHADOWS

It could send you anywhere in time or space, rather than simply scatter your atoms across the cosmos. If I wasn’t so practical, I’d almost envy you your trip.  

Hawkqueen

Trip? 

Fred

TRIP?! I can’t go anywhere I’ve got a family to think of. 

DOC SHADOWS

I’m afraid it’s a bit late for that now. But at least you’re not dead. of course, one could argue that death has its merits. Indeed, one could defiantly argue that.

The device activates and they vanish.

EXT. CANDY LAND - DAY 

A grassy field, a sun lit day, the CANDY QUEEN sits upon her lovely throne in Candy Land with dancing candy canes and ginger bread men happily making merry all about the throne. They are singing. 

Gingerbread Men Candy Canes and Queen

(Insipid music) 

We are happy in Candy Land, Candy Land, Candy Land

Life is ever wonderful and Grand in Candy Land

It makes us Happy, Dance and Stand

To Live in Happy Candy Land

Lalala, heeheehee, Lololo, FweeFweeFwee

Dancing All the happy Day, we sing now and laugh and play. 

Grenademan, Chainsaw Fred, Inoria and Hawkqueen Appear. 

The Fires of Prophesy Part 1

A story of what happens when the ambitious try to meddle in the affairs of True Gods.

 

By T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin, Edited by Fiona Skye

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 59

Hawkqueen

God bless you. Maybe you aren’t entirely evil after all. 

DOC SHADOWS

I would have done that as a public service if I had the blackest of hearts. Now, you don’t have much time, seconds in fact. You need to take the acid vial that FRED Noble is using on his wrist chain as we speak.

Fred

Didn’t think there was much point in hiding my thoughts from a telepath. Wasn’t going to volunteer the information either.

Fred breaks free of his chain. 

Inoria

Fred Noble? What-Not that I’m not glad for the help, but I thought you hated anything and everything that had to do with super heroes. 

DOC SHADOWS

You’ll find that there is a great deal about the Noble brothers that you might not ordinarily suspect. Right now, however, I’d place Frank’s cape between yourselves and that rather nasty looking grayish crystal on the far side of the room. 

Inoria

And what will that do. 

DOC SHADOWS

It could send you anywhere in time or space, rather than simply scatter your atoms across the cosmos. If I wasn’t so practical, I’d almost envy you your trip.  

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 58

Inoria

Come again? 

DOC SHADOWS

What you see with your eyes is but a mental projection into your minds, while Thorne foolishly believes that I am not present or capable of knowing what he is doing. 

Hawkqueen

And the reason you want to do this is because…? 

DOC SHADOWS

Because as much as I dislike what must be done, I’m determined to do it. That doesn’t mean I want to see you all killed. 

Inoria

Fair enough. So you’re going to help us to escape? 

DOC SHADOWS

Not exactly. I’m going to help you to live. I can’t afford to have you attempt to alter my plans. 

GRENADEMAN

THE PLANS OF EVIL SHALL NEVER TRIUMPH! 

INORIA HAWkqueen DOC SHADOWS

(together)

Shut UP! 

GRENADEMAN

NOTHING CAN SILENCE THE MIGH-gurk 

DOC SHADOWS

I have temporarily disabled the portion of his brain that allows speech. 

Grenademan Vs the Zombies on Amazon

All five parts of the novel are now available on Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=t.c.+ricks

I had tried the preorder thing but it didn't work too well.  I'll be working on the print version later this year, and you can listen to it bit by bit in the podcast.

General update on my writing efforts tomorrow.

Grenademan Vs the Zombies - Chapter 4 Part 1

Jarvi has a conversation with Chaos about getting an upgrade.

Written by T. C. Ricks

Performed by Matt Franklin

Edited by Fiona Skye

Available for Sale on Amazon

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 57

Hawkqueen

I agree. Any ideas? 

Inoria

Can you contact the birds? 

Hawkqueen

No, they’re out of my range for some reason. Hmm, no they seemed to be tied up for some reason. 

Doc Shadows comes back into the room. 

DOC SHADOWS

That would be prudent wouldn’t it? I’ve worked with enough animal empaths to know how dangerous letting them run around can be. 

Hawkqueen

It really is you isn’t it? You’re not dead. 

DOC SHADOWS

Not for lack of trying I assure you. 

Inoria

You were supposed to be one of the good guys. 

DOC SHADOWS

I am. After a manner of speaking. 

Inoria

That’s some manner of speaking.

DOC SHADOWS

In this case, the manner of speaking is directly into your mind.  

Inoria

Come again? 

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 56

Hawkqueen

I remember that. People just kept saying that magic word for days…made him turn into something random every time 

J.R.R. Thorne

The difference between Hopscotch and me, is that I am not some costumed gimp. I am the real deal, and I will be making each and every one of you writhe in agony before I’m done with you. 

Hawkqueen

I fail to see the difference between a costumed moron and a moron who just lives the lifestyle. 

J.R.R. Thorne

The difference is considerable my dear. Considerable. 

GRENADEMAN

AHA! SO YOU REVEAL THE FACT THAT YOU ARE PART OF THE FORCES OF EVIL! WE SHALL DEFEAT YOU! 

J.R.R. Thorne

And how will you do that while you’re tied up? 

GRENADEMAN

I SHALL DEFEAT YOU WITH MY MIGHTY AURA OF GOOD AND PURITY. 

J.R.R. Thorne

I..see…right then.

Thorne leaves.

Inoria

At least he made him stop revealing his plan. 

Oops

Written by T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin

Originally written for the 500 Writing website (http://www.the-five-hundred.com)

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 55

Henchman #1

Don’t bring one!

 

Chainsaw Fred starts to fight the four of them, beating them all until Henchman #1 goes for his gun, and shoots Fred, who goes down.

Henchman #1

Well…what do you know. One that wasn’t bullet proof.

 

Henchman #2

Must have been the sidekick. 

Henchman #3

Can’t be….has a better costume.

 

Henchman #1

Good point.

 

INT. WAREHOUSE WITH DEVICE - DAY

Hawkqueen, Inoria, Frank, and Fred are all chained to a wall. Doc Shadows and J.R.R. Thorne enter. There are gleaming control panels all about. The device they saw before is now in front of them. 

DOC Shadows

Ah, I see you’re awake.  

J.R.R. Thorne

Just in time for me to reveal my evil plan. 

DOC SHADOWS

If you don’t mind, I’ve got things to do. This is nothing I haven’t heard before. 

Inoria

I didn’t think ANYONE revealed their evil plans anymore. Not after Hopscotch made a fool of himself on national television. 

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 54

Henchman #2

He’s even loud when he screams in pain.

 

Henchman #1

Actually in practice I’ve found that most people are loud when they scream.

 

Henchman #2

You’ve got a legitimate point there, hadn’t thought of that.

 

From a distance, a car drives up with its headlights on. It comes to a stop and CHAINSAW FRED comes out dressed in a hockey mask with bullet proof riot gear type armor and a rather large, nasty looking chainsaw. He starts the chainsaw. 

Henchman #2

ANOTHER one? Sheesh, this must be two for one day. 

Henchman #1 takes out the gun and gets ready to shoot.

Henchman #2

Don’t you EVER get tired of paying for more wasted ammo? 

Henchman #1

Right.

Henchman #1 puts the gun away, Henchmen 1-4 proceed toward Chainsaw Fred while Henchman #5 continues to kick Grenademan.

 

Henchman #2

At least this one had the sense to bring a chainsaw-whoa! 

Henchman #3

Well you know what they say about bringing a knife to a gunfight.

 

Henchman #4

What do they say about bringing a knife to a gunfight?

Grenademan Vs the Zombies Chapter 3 - Part 2

by T. C. Ricks

Performed by Matt Franklin, Edited by Fiona Skye

The family comes to the realization that this is all horrifically real.

Now for sale on Amazon.

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 53

Henchman #2

Right. Looks like we do this the old fashioned way. 

Henchman #4

Kick the crap out of him?

 

Henchman #2

That’s it.

 

The Henchmen proceed to circle Grenademan.  

GRENADEMAN

HAHA! NOW YOU SHALL FACE THE WRATH OF THE MIGHTY –(interrupted)

The henchmen begin to clobber him and then stop. 

Henchman #2

What was that?

 

GRENADEMAN

THE MIGHTY FISTS OF –oof (interrupted again)

 

The henchmen begin to clobber him again.

Henchman #1

The mighty fists of oof? So is that your name? The Mighty Oof….funny, swap a letter there and I get oaf. 

Henchman #3

Hey, his grenades tinkle when I kick him…it makes kind of a musical sound.

 

Henchman #4

Say you’re right-it does. 

GRENADEMAN

OW! 

Henchman #2

He’s even loud when he screams in pain.

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 52

Henchman #3

Yeah? You remember that job we did for Deathroach? Captain Potato showed up, we must have unloaded at least what? 

Henchman #2

Half a dozen bullets into him and (interrupted)

Henchman #1

Whatever.

Henchman #1 shoots his gun at Grenademan. Grenademan successfully lobs the grenade but also gets knocked back. 

Henchman #1

There, see?

 

Grenademan stands back up.

GRENADEMAN

HAHA VILE FORCES OF EVIL! I CANNOT BE-

 

Henchman #1 shoots the gun again and Grenademan goes down again. Grenademan stands back up. Again. 

GRENADEMAN

BEHOLD FORCES OF EVIL! I CANNOT BE DEFEATED!

 

Henchman #1 starts walking up and points the gun inches from Grenademan’s forehead, cocks it one more time.

Henchman #1

Bounce this…

(interrupted)

The grenade explodes behind him, a blinding flare goes off. The shot goes wild. 

GRENADEMAN

HAHA! ONCE AGAIN THE FORCES OF GOOD TRIUMPH OVER THE FORCES OF EVIL! 

Update and Forever West

The first few chapters of Forever West are now available online.

I am ill today so not sure how much writing I'll get done.  The story a week thing isn't going to work.  It's too much too fast, and even though I've got some neat tricks, I believe the cycle will require 8 business days with a story being edited, a story being planned, and a story being written.  Planning the short story out in advance makes a titanic difference.  I divide it into five parts, now thinking four, and add to them in the story so I know where the story is going before I even start writing the second part, I know where I'm writing TO.

I'm at 4000 words on "Making Hitler"
2000 words on "Becoming a Demon"
The story being preplanned is "Rash Decision" where a father uses gene theraphy on his children to make them less 'wimpy' with predictable results.  Will likely be short, but I love the premise to the point I'm going to write it.

Weekends are going to be for scripts, and assuming I'm still not disastrously ill, I'll be starting this weekend.

Getting it Right

by T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin

Originally written for The 500 writing site (http://www.the-five-hundred.com)

Check out this episode!