[Script] Tossing Grenades at Windmills - Page 72

CHAINSAW FRED

Who are you? 

The Wizard

I am the Wizard. Perhaps you’ve heard of me. 

GRENADEMAN

THE WIZARD OF SPEED AND TIME? 

The Wizard

No. 

GRENADEMAN

THE WIZARD OF WALL STREET? 

The Wizard

No, the other one. 

GRENADEMAN

THE WIZARD OF DEATH CASTLE? 

The Wizard

You just made that one up. 

GRENADEMAN

I DID NOT. 

The Wizard

Yes, you did. 

GRENADEMAN

I

(interrupted) 

The Wizard

It isn’t very super heroic to lie Frank. 

GRENADEMAN

ER. WELL. PERHAPS, I THE COSMOS, BEING AN INFINITE SERIES OF POSSIBILITIES, THUS CONTAINS THE POSSIBILITY THAT SOMEWHERE THERE MUST BE A WIZARD OF DEATH CASTLE. 

Grenademan Vs the Zombies Chapter 6 Part 2

Jarvi makes some Snark Zombies and starts to spread the love around.  His Henchwoman does good work.

Note: Continues mid sentance.

Performed by Matt Franklin, Written by T.C. Ricks, Edited by Fiona Skye

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades at Windmills - Page 71

Hawkqueen

Hmm. On second thought, maybe that was a bad idea.

 

Another major fight ensues. It is a close one, but the heroes manage to defeat the randomly compiled Resident Forces of Evil and reduce them to tiny little bits of meat and shreds.  Chainsaw Fred decapacitates The Evil Elvis Clone. Inoria uses a vial of acid on the Loch Ness Monster. Hawkqueen picks up and throws Frankenstein away and Grenademan gets pummeled by the Wonder Hamster until it accidentally sets off one of the grenades and gets blown away.

Chaos

Congratulations! You win the rest of your miserable little lives, the insignificance and boredom of which will be far more punishment than anything else I could possibly hope to inflict upon you. You may wander as you will.

 

Chaos disappears.

Inoria

Well he does have at least one point… 

HawkQueen

His head? 

Inoria

No, I mean we are wandering as we will. I’m beginning to wonder if we’ll ever get back. We can’t just keep grabbing Frank’s cape and flickering through the universe like some cosmic remote control.

The Wizard appears. 

The Wizard

Perhaps I can help with that. 

GateKeeper Part 2

Hastur has the unenviable job of acting as gate keeper for the IINS for magical creatures that want to emmigrate to the USA.  Then he gets cursed.

By T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin, Edited by Fiona Skye

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 70

Frankenstein, the Lock Ness Monster, Evil Psychotic Elvis Clone and Ralph the Wonder Hamster appear and look very upset. 

CHAINSAW FRED

(to Grenademan)

Remind me to kill you if we survive this. 

GRENADEMAN

AHA! THE FORCES OF EVIL! PREPARE TO BE VANIQUISHED VILE FIENDS! 

Inoria

This is a fascinating collection of random images. I wonder if it has some deeper significance 

Hawkqueen

Inoria, dear, I love you to bits, like a daughter even, but if you try to analyze the artistic meaning of something trying to kill us one more time I really will hurt you. I mean that. 

Inoria

But surely

Hawkqueen tosses Inoria into the approaching crowd of evil. 

Hawkqueen

Here. Take her. 

GRENADEMAN

TALLYHO! 

Guest Poet

Joshua and John
By Redwin Tursor

In Joshua, God sends his chosen people to kill every person not like them
In John, God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son.
These days, it isnt that hard to see which God is in charge of things
Of course, you can say that you love the sinners
As you hack them to bits for wanting to organize
Just like ISIS does to Christian folk with a machate
But to read the trolls on the internet
There sure are a lot more soldiers of Joshua
Than followers of Christ
So on a day that we celebrate him coming back from the dead
Perhaps we can honor the reverse flying zombie best
By honoring his wishing when he said over and over again
"Look man, I am totally not my father"
Maybe there was a reason for that
Maybe there was a reason he said "just because some jackass does something in my name doesnt mean thet are following me."
Maybe he came back
Not to be with his genocidal followers or his killer dad
Happy birthday Jesus
Hope you are enjoying Boulder or Asheville

Grenademan Vs The Zombies Chapter 6 Part 1

Jarvi makes some Snark Zombies and starts to spread the love around.  His Henchwoman does good work.

Performed by Matt Franklin, Written by T.C. Ricks, Edited by Fiona Skye

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 69

GRENADEMAN

IT IS A FAR FAR BETTER THING THAT I HAVE DONE NOW, THAN I HAVE- 

Chainsaw Fred hits Grenademan on the shoulder as they begin to fade from view.

CHAINSAW FRED

Get you own line. 

GRENADEMAN

OW. 

EXT. SEA OF LOST SOCKS – DAY

An island in a sea of socks. A demigod sits at a podium game show style. The heroes fade into view. 

Chaos

Hello, welcome to the Sea of Lost Socks. Where’s that you ask? It’s a hole between dimensions, a place where things go when they haven’t got any other continuum to go to. Who am I? Glad you asked-My name is Chaos. I am a resident demi god bored out of my mind. Why am I answering your questions for you? Because every one asks the same thing. Like the inevitable next question… 

GRENADEMAN

WHERE ARE THE RESIDENT FORCES OF EVIL THAT WE MIGHT SMITE THEM? 

Chaos

Hmm. Actually, no, the question that most people ask is usually something like ‘How did we get here?’ or ‘Can you send me home?’ or the occasional ‘My you are a snazzy dresser, where did you get that fabulous wardrobe’. But I can do Resident Forces of Evil. Meet Frankenstein, the Lock Ness Monster, The Evil Psychotic Elvis Clone and Ralph the Wonder Hamster. 

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 68

Grenademan races through the assembled crowd of French People and French Knitting Women and blows up the guillotine, freeing the woman. 

FRENCH PERSON #1

What is this?! 

FRENCH PERSON #2

It is the silly people we saw before! They’re trying to free the prisoners! 

Inoria

Oh crap. 

Hawkqueen

We’d better get back to that cape or we’re toast. 

CHAINSAW FRED

Why didn’t you two help the girl? 

Inoria

It would have –OW! 

A major fight ensues between the French people and our heroes. Grenademan is surprisingly successful, doing well for a change, freeing prisoners who run away. The other three fight with more French people and close in on Grenademan. 

Inoria

This could be very bad for the space-time continuum 

CHAINSAW FRED

(Starting Chainsaw)

Alright, enough of this…. 

Fred cuts a swathe through the French People and assorted psychotic knitting French people and they touch Frank’s Cape. 

Gate Keeper Part I

Hastur has the unenviable job of acting as gate keeper for the IINS for magical creatures that want to emmigrate to the USA.  Then he gets cursed.

By T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin, Edited by Fiona Skye

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 67

GRENADEMAN

ER…EXCUSE ME…. 

Inoria

It’s utterly fascinating, why, there could be such a world for every hope and dream ever conceived by mankind…there really could be a Narnia, or a Shangri-La, or a place where trickle down economics really works. 

GRENADEMAN

SOMEONE IS ABOUT TO GUILOTEEN THAT WOMAN OVER THERE…SHOULDN’T WE BE ACTING WELL…SUPERHEROIC, SEING AS HOW WE’RE WELL…YOU KNOW…SUPER HEROES? 

Inoria

Oh no. Any action we take here might affect the cosmic balance of our own dimension. Why, who knows what disturbed dreams that children might be having back in our own world.

Hawkqueen

Those things seemed pretty disturbed as it was without any of our help. 

CHAINSAW FRED

Do you people ALWAYS talk like this? Is there some special school you go to? 

Inoria

Where is Frank? 

GRENADEMAN

TALLYHO!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 66

FRENCH PERSON #2

Madrigras was last week you silly people. 

FRENCH PERSON #1

Perhaps they are simply celebrating the Revolution? 

FRENCH PERSON #2

That must be it. 

Hawkqueen

Where in the HECK are we? 

CHAINSAW FRED

I think the question is more when…somewhere around the time of the French Revolution 

Vengeance

Therese! Who has seen her?

Therese Defarge! 

Inoria

I know that name… 

Knitting French Woman

She never missed before. 

CHAINSAW FRED

Ancient ancestor of yours? 

Hawkqueen

No. It’s the name of one of the characters in Charles Dicken’s novel, “A tale of Two Cities” 

Inoria

No, don’t you understand, somehow we’ve been transported not to another time, but another dimension entirely. I would suspect it a reflection of the collective unconscious. 

Grenademan Vs the Zombies Chapter 5

Written by T.C. Ricks

Read by Matt Franklin

Edited by Fiona Skye

Given the organized response against them, Doc and the Circle seek to gain more recruits in the safest way possible...a science fiction convention.

 

 

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 65

Fred, Hawkqueen and Inoria grab Grenademan’s Cape. 

GRENADEMAN

YOU DON’T TUG ON GRENADEMAN’S CAPE. YOU DON’T SPIT IN THE EYE OF THE OLD LONE RANGER AND YOU DON’T MESS AROUND WITH MY CAPE. EMPHASIS ON THE CAPE PART. HINT, THAT’S MY CAPE. 

Fred

So what are we supposed to be doing here? 

GRENADEMAN

MY CAPE PLEASE. 

Inoria

Honestly…I have absolutely no idea, but it makes about as much sense as everything else that’s been going on.

GRENADEMAN

YOU ARE GETTING COOKIE CRUMBS ON MY CAPE. WAIT, SORRY, THAT’S FROM DEAD GINGERBREAD MAN.

Inoria grabs Grenademan’s cape. There is a large flash of light and they all vanish.

EXT. REVOLUTIONARY FRANCE - DAY

The four appear inside a rowdy crowd in revolutionary France. A large guillotine sits to one side. No one immediately pays attention to them.

FRENCH PERSON #1

I hear they are up to thirty seven today! 

FRENCH PERSON #2

That’s nothing. Last week they got rid of two hundred and fourteen. 

FRENCH PERSON #1

Let’s get a good front seat. Last time I could see the veins in his neck still pumping. 

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 64

GRENADEMAN

THE SUPERHEROIC WORK IS A GLORIOUS WORK. 

Inoria

Actually, it’s times like this that I really wonder why I get up in the morning.

 

They blow up the last of the gingerbread men. The Candy Queen cries and runs away.

Hawkqueen

This is almost enough to make me give up chocolate…almost. 

FRED

Right. So how do we get out of here? 

Inoria

That’s a very good question. 

Hawkqueen

You’re supposed to be the technical expert. 

Inoria

Look, I don’t have any idea what was done to us, that doesn’t make it easy to replicate. 

FRED

We know it had something to do with Frank’s cape.  

Hawkqueen

It was of the same formula Thorne was looking for.

Inoria

That’s it. It’s just crazy enough that it might work. Quick, everyone grab hold of his cape… 

My live journal has long served as my poetry blog

but it seems to by dying.  I tried posting this there seven times and it wouldn't stick....

Only it turns out they both survived.....

But I was going to post the poem here.

Instead I will post link 1 and link 2

The Fires of Prophesy Part 2

A story of what happens when the ambitious try to meddle in the affairs of True Gods.

 

By T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin, Edited by Fiona Skye

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 63

Inoria

Well, we eat them, it’s only natural they try and eat us. 

A fight ensues between denizens of candy land and the heroes. The gingerbread men charge them. Grenademan tosses grenades. Inoria shocks them, Hawkqueen cleaves them in two with her talons (retractable), and Chainsaw Fred liberally applies his chainsaw to them.  

GRENADEMAN

FEEL THE WRATH OF MY GRENADES OH FOUL DEMONS OF CANDY! 

FRED

Look, Frank…since there is a remote chance we might not get out of this, seeing as how we’re out numbered by about-well the entire population of Candy Land to four, I wanted to apologize for hitting you. 

GRENADEMAN

NO APOLOGY IS NECESSARY FELLOW SUPER HERO CHAINSAW FRED. WE ARE ALL WARRIORS ON THE SIDE OF JUSTICE, SOMETIMES WE MUST SMACK FOR THE FORCES OF

(interrupted)

 

Chainsaw Fred cuts more gingerbread men in half while Grenademan tosses more grenades.

FRED

Look, I realize that there might not be much left of you in there right now, but someday you might come back. I love you, you’re my brother. But this super hero stuff, people that get mixed up in this. Well, I mean, look around, I don’t want this sort of thing happening to my kids. 

Writing Update

So far so good. I'm behind where I wanna be, but I've got three stories complete so far, Skip's story, Making the Demon and Raising Timmy.  Raising Timmy seems to have the most potential of the three but it will require some rewrites.  All of them will.  I'm sitting on em for three months, then I'll do an edit, and then wait for three more before another edit pass and submitting for publiciation (ie rejection) but I'm learning from past improvements and time helps a lot.

Working on two more stories that I just started. I'm trying to do them both at the same time, and I'm mainly trying to write more during the day and night to get myself ready for NaNoWrMo and..failing miserably.  I'm mainly writing at night and weekends, which just won't do for....you know, that name is a pain to write, let's call it Death Month, shall we? Anyway, I'm gonna start notes on characters and plot outline here likely in April.

Podcast is chugging along nicely.  I sometimes have 10 people listening to it. I think my voice actor has some fans :D He is good at reading for GMVZ.  I'm getting a mike delivered this week but will likely resume reading sometime in April.

Finally, since I have a goal to write 3 scripts this year and Tossing Grenade Vs Windmills is going to run out in April or may, I'll need SOMETHING to replace it for the blog....Unfood will last a while, but I do  plan on doing another short film some time next year, and I'll likely start with the strongest of the three scripts I write this year.