[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 56

Hawkqueen

I remember that. People just kept saying that magic word for days…made him turn into something random every time 

J.R.R. Thorne

The difference between Hopscotch and me, is that I am not some costumed gimp. I am the real deal, and I will be making each and every one of you writhe in agony before I’m done with you. 

Hawkqueen

I fail to see the difference between a costumed moron and a moron who just lives the lifestyle. 

J.R.R. Thorne

The difference is considerable my dear. Considerable. 

GRENADEMAN

AHA! SO YOU REVEAL THE FACT THAT YOU ARE PART OF THE FORCES OF EVIL! WE SHALL DEFEAT YOU! 

J.R.R. Thorne

And how will you do that while you’re tied up? 

GRENADEMAN

I SHALL DEFEAT YOU WITH MY MIGHTY AURA OF GOOD AND PURITY. 

J.R.R. Thorne

I..see…right then.

Thorne leaves.

Inoria

At least he made him stop revealing his plan. 

Oops

Written by T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin

Originally written for the 500 Writing website (http://www.the-five-hundred.com)

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[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 55

Henchman #1

Don’t bring one!

 

Chainsaw Fred starts to fight the four of them, beating them all until Henchman #1 goes for his gun, and shoots Fred, who goes down.

Henchman #1

Well…what do you know. One that wasn’t bullet proof.

 

Henchman #2

Must have been the sidekick. 

Henchman #3

Can’t be….has a better costume.

 

Henchman #1

Good point.

 

INT. WAREHOUSE WITH DEVICE - DAY

Hawkqueen, Inoria, Frank, and Fred are all chained to a wall. Doc Shadows and J.R.R. Thorne enter. There are gleaming control panels all about. The device they saw before is now in front of them. 

DOC Shadows

Ah, I see you’re awake.  

J.R.R. Thorne

Just in time for me to reveal my evil plan. 

DOC SHADOWS

If you don’t mind, I’ve got things to do. This is nothing I haven’t heard before. 

Inoria

I didn’t think ANYONE revealed their evil plans anymore. Not after Hopscotch made a fool of himself on national television. 

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 54

Henchman #2

He’s even loud when he screams in pain.

 

Henchman #1

Actually in practice I’ve found that most people are loud when they scream.

 

Henchman #2

You’ve got a legitimate point there, hadn’t thought of that.

 

From a distance, a car drives up with its headlights on. It comes to a stop and CHAINSAW FRED comes out dressed in a hockey mask with bullet proof riot gear type armor and a rather large, nasty looking chainsaw. He starts the chainsaw. 

Henchman #2

ANOTHER one? Sheesh, this must be two for one day. 

Henchman #1 takes out the gun and gets ready to shoot.

Henchman #2

Don’t you EVER get tired of paying for more wasted ammo? 

Henchman #1

Right.

Henchman #1 puts the gun away, Henchmen 1-4 proceed toward Chainsaw Fred while Henchman #5 continues to kick Grenademan.

 

Henchman #2

At least this one had the sense to bring a chainsaw-whoa! 

Henchman #3

Well you know what they say about bringing a knife to a gunfight.

 

Henchman #4

What do they say about bringing a knife to a gunfight?

Grenademan Vs the Zombies Chapter 3 - Part 2

by T. C. Ricks

Performed by Matt Franklin, Edited by Fiona Skye

The family comes to the realization that this is all horrifically real.

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[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 53

Henchman #2

Right. Looks like we do this the old fashioned way. 

Henchman #4

Kick the crap out of him?

 

Henchman #2

That’s it.

 

The Henchmen proceed to circle Grenademan.  

GRENADEMAN

HAHA! NOW YOU SHALL FACE THE WRATH OF THE MIGHTY –(interrupted)

The henchmen begin to clobber him and then stop. 

Henchman #2

What was that?

 

GRENADEMAN

THE MIGHTY FISTS OF –oof (interrupted again)

 

The henchmen begin to clobber him again.

Henchman #1

The mighty fists of oof? So is that your name? The Mighty Oof….funny, swap a letter there and I get oaf. 

Henchman #3

Hey, his grenades tinkle when I kick him…it makes kind of a musical sound.

 

Henchman #4

Say you’re right-it does. 

GRENADEMAN

OW! 

Henchman #2

He’s even loud when he screams in pain.

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 52

Henchman #3

Yeah? You remember that job we did for Deathroach? Captain Potato showed up, we must have unloaded at least what? 

Henchman #2

Half a dozen bullets into him and (interrupted)

Henchman #1

Whatever.

Henchman #1 shoots his gun at Grenademan. Grenademan successfully lobs the grenade but also gets knocked back. 

Henchman #1

There, see?

 

Grenademan stands back up.

GRENADEMAN

HAHA VILE FORCES OF EVIL! I CANNOT BE-

 

Henchman #1 shoots the gun again and Grenademan goes down again. Grenademan stands back up. Again. 

GRENADEMAN

BEHOLD FORCES OF EVIL! I CANNOT BE DEFEATED!

 

Henchman #1 starts walking up and points the gun inches from Grenademan’s forehead, cocks it one more time.

Henchman #1

Bounce this…

(interrupted)

The grenade explodes behind him, a blinding flare goes off. The shot goes wild. 

GRENADEMAN

HAHA! ONCE AGAIN THE FORCES OF GOOD TRIUMPH OVER THE FORCES OF EVIL!