Monday, May 30, 2016

On the Beach in Terra

So, I have been asked (no I haven't, I mean its not like you can send letters to another dimension, though if you email one to redanvilcreative@gmail.com and there is a good chance that TC will be able to telepathically transmit it to me, but he has almost a perverse sense of humor as EP Blingermeyer so he might randomly replace words...I digress....) what the beach is like in Terra.

It's pretty.  I mean, the beach in Miami on the right day is gorgeous on Earth, but in Terra we haven't had Captain Planet villains try to destroy the world, and we solved the climate change problem a while ago (again, because while we might have Super Villains, we don't have totally nihilistic morons....) so its even more gorgeous.  The water is crystal blue, the sky is even bluer and the air is so crisp and clean it will make you want to weep.  It will especially want to make you weep if Ed's Onions and Onion Rings Emporium is open.

There are a few difference.  Since our oceans are not dumping grounds for all the chemicals that you can get away with, there are less Jellyfish, which means a better swim, and because the earth was pulled slightly closer to the earth by a Terran Mage (because he could), so we also have better waves for surfing.  Surfer culture plus Miami is pretty interesting.  The most interesting colored surf boards that you ever saw...

Still, even paradise can have its hazards.

The hidden soviet submarine base is a major tourist attraction, especially since the city refuses to acknowledge it exists which means hoards of toursists randomly snorkeling every year trying to find it. About one in ten does, and they have to be ransomed all over again by the Shadow State Department.  You thought the email server thing was a big thing in your world..imagine if it actually contained information about the hidden world.  I mean, for Christ's sake, you had the Guardian exposing information on the Nazi base on the dark side of the moon.  Fortunately, our populace has been selectively bred by vampires and fairies over the ages to deliberately ignore things that They Are Not Supposed to See, so most people ignored it...but our version of Elon Musk is currently planning an exploratory mission to the moon to see if its there.  I think that one way or the other, in years to come, Terra will resemble Earth less and less.  I am still mastering the techniques of Astral Project but I think this might make it prohibitively difficult to find you.

I will miss Earth, for all its abject stupidity.  I think all humans, no matter what world they live in, need stories and need to be part of stories.  Its a shame we can't meet somewhere in the middle between Terra and Earth...

Of the 9 in 10 that don't find the hidden soviet submarine base, there are about 1 in 20 who are eaten by Deep Ones.  The local Deep Ones have considerably more taste than Insmouth.  They are almost human looking and they tend to have perfected meticulously practiced Jersey accents.  In fact, the better the Jersey accent, the more likely they are to be a deep one.  More than half of them are pretty decent and really don't try to eat people.  They just accept that the world will end when the Stars are in Alignment and just party until it ends.

I am slowly preparing for an expidition to Carcosa to learn about my family heritage.  I dread this, but don't want to speak more of it at this time.  Until later faithful reader.

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