[Script] Unfood - Page 2

Cleanup Crew Leader, Tech 1&2: Three people who have to clean up the mess that is left after Governor - The Governor of Shitworld. A petty beuracrat who has too much power for his own good. ACT 1 SCENE 1 - EXT WIDE SHOT OF THE MARGARET FLYING THROUGH DEEP SPACE – NIGHT A large chunk of metal just randomly flies off of the ship and floats into the camera. INT – CONTROL ROOM OF THE MARGARTET – DAY FREIGHT, Aaron and Kendra sit at their various control stations talking. The cockpit is cluttered with posters and other random brickabrack that make a very tight space more livable for the three of them as they travel the vastness of space. FREIGHT Are you sure? KENDRA Yes. We’ve got about 50000 coins worth of repair work. At the least. FREIGHT Well...that sucks. That is going to cost us about a third of the run. (beat) Damn it. We are this close to being able to retire. You know we can just let the ship rot. KENDRA Don’t talk about the Margaret like that. She’s home. FREIGHT Any home can’t last forever. Freight looks at the ceiling and rolls around in his chair. He gazes at Kendra who frowns and then he moves his head toward Aaron. Aaron imitates Freight’s actions but parodies to make them even more extreme. Then Aaron begins to weep and wail. He knocks over a nearby ash tray and spreads the ashes over his shirt. He rips it and appeals to the heavens. (CONTINUED)

[Script] Unfood - Page 1

Unfood by Tom Drake Dramatis Personae Freight Kasniket – He is an overly ambitious starship captain willing to cut some corners to make a quick buck so he can retire. He is very loyal to his crew, but he is willing to gamble with their lives to risk it all by smuggling one last big score. The Blob - Petty, Stupid, Fat. He has more money than God and less idea what to do with it. He has little to nothing to live for except his money and his various excessive ways to display it. He is everything that Freight isn’t...unambitious in every way. Without his weight, he will be even more lost. He is desperate for any edge he can give himself to keep it, and so is willing to pay to keep it. Whatever it takes. Also a bit somewhat accident prone. Kendra Sunmire – Navigator for the Margaret and First mate. She plays the straight man to the awesome trio, and is also somewhat responsible. But she also doesn’t put up with bullshit on their parts. She is often the Cassandra of the group where her warning are unheeded or ignored. On better days that means she’s there to post bail for them in the morning. On worst days, it means that Freight helps to ruin her life. Aaron Bilay – The ultimate stoner and also a kind gregarious fellow. He’s funny and he knows it. However there is the sensitive soul of a poet underneath the snarky exterior. Too much hardship will destroy him. Bob – He is the second maintenance robot in the Fatship. He knows how to find things and knows how to make his mission shine. Bob doesn’t talk but sometimes you can still swear he’s saying something by the way he clicks. Gerald Danes - A spokesman hired by the Confederation to do an industrial video about how the laws regarding health care are going to change for the sector. He is charismatic and charming. The Judge - A member of the confederation and a genetically modified human. He is very large and intimidating but speaks with a very gentle voice. He is calm and rational despite the fact that he looks like he could crush anyone before him like an insect. Ship’s Computer - The Fatship’s computer isn’t really intelligent. But it does a very good job of pretending like it is. It is extremely friendly because it has to be. Friendliness and customer service are mandatory citizen. Warrior - A confed warrior who serves as bailiff to the judge.

The Dangers of Too Much Story

So I'm not about to start doing politics in this world or yours; everyone knows how most politicians are, why add to the wind?

But if you compared something dangerous, like say the Cult of Death in the middle east.  I suppose I should come up with a name for my world...maybe Esperanza?  It's totally random, but it'll do just the same.  Where was I? Ah yes, Esperanza.  The Cult of Death hear believes in spreading itself as far and wide as it can, and they're crazy.

In Wonderbread Land it is the Korialailieleehahaha Robbers.  The language in Wonderbreadland is very Hawaiin sounding, but they're not actually Hawaiain.  They're supposed to be native American or something, I guess.  But both the Cult of Death and the Robbers are badass insane guys, but they don't need to blow up monuments because they're not really religions and their stories are weaker.


Then you have your world, we'll call it Library...because of how much story you have.  It's a spin off of Islam called Isis, which is an Egyptian Goddess,even though that isn't what they're about.  They're recruiting people all over the internet, blow up monuments and have to go to the most extreme of any extreme they possibly can.  Why? Because of the reputation and story that have developed as the new Caliphate.  Stories are dangerous.  Stories are powerful.

I'm interested in learning more about your world and telling more and better  stories, but live there?

NOOO thank you.

Technical Difficulties

So...our process is still improving but rather than have another 'hole' we found a rather...unorthydox workaround....should be back to normal next week.

Check out this episode!

Oops

Pay no attention to that page 7...yet...finally figured out how to get celtx to output in a format for the blog...

Under Construction

Clearly this will be more difficult than I thought. There will need to be some procedural changes and potentially the purchase of a Pre Amp. Changes coming soon. Look for it.

The Guy Who Pays The Nickle

When I spoke about a nickle, I really meant metaphorically.

The guy who buys the bulk of my services is EP Blingermeyer, a guy who loves a thrill.  He bungie jumps, sky dives, kite surfs, runs, jumps, etc etc.  You get the idea.  He has extremely skewed luck, but it is so extremely skewed that when he is up he is able to get rich rediculously fast, but he doesn't keep it long.  Like me, he's fascinated by your world, but unlike me, he doesn't astrally project.

He physically goes there.  He'll take the bridge.  He waits for it to come at the break of day or at sunset, then rushes right backward toward Wonderbreadland and then half way through leaps off of it and into the nearest river.  Like TC did when he was escaping to home, once.  It messed him up quite well, you can only imagine what it did to EP.

It's a self fulfilling cycle, the more he does it, the more he wants to.  He loves the stories in your world, but also loves the venues where they exist; bookstores, plays, movies, poetry slams, museums.  You name it, he wants to experience it.  He's quite an affable fellow and has made several very good almost friendships.  Of course, TC was a native.  EP isn't and when he goes there, he's often forgotten immediately afterward.  He's a fictional character from your perspective after all.

TC tried to help once with a trick he read in a book about helping to invent a non existant person, but it didn't take.  You will never find a person who claims that EP Blingermeyer is a real person.  Though, your reality is strange enough that you might actually find an EP Blingermeyer.  Only it wouldn't be the one who pays me.

Most people who are determined to see the bridge on a thrill, I will, in fact, charge a few samoleans for my time, teach them how to see it, how not to get run over and more importantly how not to get eaten by whatever comes from the other direction.  Most people, most SANE people simply want to see a Sasquatch, or a troll or god knows what. 

That isn't the case with our friend.  So I charge him for it.  He wants details, precise details about what comes and goes, stray broadcasts, dropped artifacts.  He collects and catalogs all of them you see.  Its quite lucrative, even if I have no idea what he does with all the things he collects. One of these days he won't come back from your world. I'm amazed every time he does actually.  When he stops, I'll have to get a real job.