Thursday, November 30, 2023

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Pericuolo Narr

An anarch vampire turned just prior to the Treaty of Thorns

He fought with the underdog and against Empire

Against small evil for centuries

Always on the side of Liberty

He spotted a zip tied Santa 

And cut him free with a rip of Gangrel claws

But they still had Santas magic bag

Distributing bags of blood

To all the naughty Sabbat vampires

So he took this new fangled Hot Air Balloon

And poured gallons of whale oil on the barn

And lit the  match

And enjoyed a nice toasty Christmas bonfire

While a horrified Santa looks on

Peri always got to pick on house 

That Santa visited every Christmas without fail

Worthy or not, believing or not

So far he has 'Saved Christmas' 237 times

And he intende

To do it 237 more.

Wednesday, November 29, 2023

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Gimpl Santa

If a magical being is affected by our portrayal

Like statues making Zeus

Then think of the number of times

Santa has been kidnapped


Zip Tied

Hey baby

He likes it

Hes into that

Every December 26th

He gets down With Mrs Clause

In a Rabbet Suit

The eleves all join in

Tuesday, November 28, 2023

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Out Of Their League

The League of Christmas Darkness were evil but not bad

So when they saw the North Pole sink 

They hung their heads in sad

With no Santa  there was no ritual to steal

With all drowned elves

Some monsters had no meal

Sure they could survive

But  they defined themselves with Christmas

And while genuinely good people

Were still good

The lack of magic without Drowned Santa

Was random and rare

And so Mirror Universe Santa, and Krampus 

And all the other Christmas Villains

Began to believe presents again

Coopted by the Holiday 

That Would Not Stop

Could Not Be Stopped






Monday, November 27, 2023

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Borealisg

The Northern Lights inspires

But she is eternally alone

She lights the sky

And brings hope to those in the Long Winter Night

She cannot see her peer

Far far to the south

But she can hear her

They sing at night

Songs only the stars can hear

Until fon one night

A magic spell

Let them embrace in each others arms

Two dancing lovers

Kissing and twirling in the snow

Together at last

Sunday, November 26, 2023

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Happy Birthday Jesus

Once upon a time

There was a sweet nigh perfect boy

Born in Bethlehem

Raised in Galilee

Smart, bright and beloved by all

There are those who say 

There is no historical record 

Of Jesus of Nazareth


They are liars


Did this young man have magical powers?

Was he literally a God made Flesh?

Who knows

He was

Per extensive research and the actual bible

Born in April

But Rome put it in Mithras

To make the new state Christian Religion

More Popular

No matter what you believe

About his divinity

Or the synchronicity between gospels

His message is clear

'This I have told you

Love one another'


It is kind hilarious

That the Axis of Fascism

Gave plans

Leaked by Trump

To Theocratic Fascists

To Attack Theocratic Totalitarian Imperialists

(I cant call Israel Fascist

Because Fascism requires a cult of personality

And Bibi has none)

To empower Russia

To divide the west

And starve funds

From Ukraine

Weakening Democracy Everywhere

Sounds like a crap plan

But its working

And working well

As we see

In Argentina

In Poland

In The Netherlands

In the Toilet Bowl US House

So this Holy Land

Is awash in blood

Splattered by Bombs

Made by America

For Israel

To Drop On 2.2 million people

Most of whom are under 18

That a plurality approaching majority

In Israel Dont Consider Human

Because Aipac

Because Larry Summers

Because Putin

'This I have taught you

To love one another'

Aint no love

Like that 

Of the fruits

Not known by Christ

But who fake cast Demons Out

In His Name

Saturday, November 25, 2023

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Christmas Appropriation

Milo Mindbender In A Santa Hat

Dry humping A Zip Tied Ball Gagged Krampus

Smacking His Lips On Santa Jerky

Flicking A Platinum Coin

At Tiny Tiny Tim In a Hamster Wheel

To Power The  Organ of Shrieks

From Three Bound Ghosts of Christmas Past Present and Future

To his Demented Musical Delight  

Sits Back on a Genuine Leather Arm Chair Made

Of Dasher Leather

Sipping Hot Cocoa Laced With the Rare Imported Grinch Blood

While Max Looks Out the Window with Sad Wide Eyes

The House Always Wins

And its Good To Be The King.

Friday, November 24, 2023

[Poem] The 31 Carols of Christmas - Dickens

Christmas existed before Christmas

Saturnalia and Mithras

Christmas existed before what we conceive of 

As Christmas

A holiday that celebrated the birth

of The Desert Messiah




The mythology of a better world

A world where Samsurra or Satan 

Or the tyranny of the Demon Deceiver

Wrapped us up in our personal hells

That the mirage of banality the Skeptic bane

Made to only fantasize  that we could escape to a simulation

A world where 

Even only for a month

The promise of the New Testament

Of The Beatitudes

Of a Better World

Were True


In Some ways


Christmas Is Real 

The Man Who Invented Christmas

Is Real

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

Is Real


Im His Story of Three Ghosts scolding a Capitalist

For BEING a good Capitalist

And he listens

And actually gives a shit about humanity

That part sadly

Is most definitely fiction

And capitalists have been Capitalizing on Christmas

Ever since

But the spirit of the thing

A better world

It is real

Love it or hate it

Everyone in the world is touched by it

Every religion has created or adjusted their holidays

To capture or mirror that feeling

That very real magic

The Nightmare Before Christmas Skeleton Jack

Where we all laboratory our Tinsel

Boiling Toiling the Wonder

Of How



Do we make it real


No Invisible Power can enslave us

If we dont have enough people willing to be assholes

To each other

Why cant every day be Christmas?

It can

I believe


It will

Dickens saw it first

We literally just have to believe


I do

Emphasis on







Wednesday, November 22, 2023

[Poem] Developer User Interface

Few professions

Are as wonderful

Or as Stupid 

As the Developer

Give them a lever large enough

And they will move the world

Give them a problem

and they are the ultimae wizards of 


But for What Why When

Or Gods Help Us All


They are Circus Clowns

Every stupid button

Every annoying slider

Or garbage crap

If it wasnt enshittification for money

It was an idiot developer

Trying to automated something

They shouldnt


Due to Hubris

Or Laziness