Monday, December 31, 2018

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Thought Exercize: The Man in the Jacket and Twitter

There is well known story about the Cloud and the Sun which, paraphrased is that the Cloud and Sun bet each other that they could get a man to remove his jacket. The cloud blew and blew and it only made the man hold his jacket higher, and the sun was hot so the man took the jacket off.  The moral of the story is supposed to be how being positive and warm will get better results than being confrontational and mean.

But as an animist this is fascinating to me.  Would the Sun make bets with the Clouds?  But a better question is...what is going through the mind of the Man in the Jacket?

What would this man think if he KNEW that Sun and Cloud were taking bets on him? What would he do? What would you do? Its one thing if the weather is cold or hot, its another thing if you know its doing it just to win a bet at your expense.

I know in my case I'd do exactly the opposite of whatever I was expected to, I'd wear my jacket when it was hot and not wear it when it was cold.  I just have this thing that I don't like to submit to unrighteous authority, but to each your own.

But lets go back to the man in the jacket in the story.  Can you imagine his FIRST reaction? After his astonishment that the clouds and sun were alive; imagine learning that the weather regarded you as a plaything.  We need both the rain and sun to survive; and it might make you feel small.  But then it could also be empowering.  The sun and clouds floating up there are so BORED they they have to take bets on your behavior.

All analogies break down, and you could say I am reading too much into the story but Twitter and Facebook have become such daily parts of our lives that we take them for granted.  Yet we let two very very flawed people; Jack and Mark, neither of whom were elected and neither of whom were selected from their virtue, just chance and a bit of skill at programming let them both win the lottery to control our political discourse and primary method of social interaction on a daily basis.

Yes, yo absolutely can delete facebook and twitter, I have many times, but wouldnt it be nice if you could use these tools without these two calling the shots? Vague and ambigous calls for Facebook and Twitter to be 'broken up' ignore the fact that it requires both a congress and president who are willing to take on big companies and about 15-20 years after that.  Even if we elect one president or one congress, given the fickle nature of the American public do you really think they will stay the course? Look at what happened when they tried to break up Microsoft?


If Twitter and Facebook are the Sun and Clouds in this analogy, then you cant directly do anything to them.  But you can pass word about their activity and maybe the next hapless soul that they make a bet on defies them.  One man with a jacket can't do much, but a lot of people with jackets?

I am proposing two ideas here.

1) Coordinate days where you boycott facebook or twitter 1-2 days a week until they comply.  Cost them add revenue.

2) Delete your account for a month and then remake it.  They both profit off your data.

Really, the thing is, spread your own ideas.  The more we organize and fight back, the more we can win.  Mark and Jack are not evil but they are definitely not people who deserve the power they have and we can, together, do what we can to take it back.

Friday, November 16, 2018

San Demas High School Football Rules

Ever wonder where they are now? Those celebrity cameos!

Well that guy from Bill and Ted that says "San Demas High School Football Rules!" is NOW the president of a university!


Check out this episode!

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Tax Non Voters - Mock Non Voters

Maybe instead of just carrot all the time we can try a little stick with those who think that their willful ignorance and neglect should be rewarded.  Maybe instead of the metaphorical 'participation' trophy, we tax those who stay home and vote by their silence.  

And for those who defend the 'voter' as sovereign no matter what their ignorant choice I think they need to suffer mockery and social stigma too.  You don't defend people who think rats and cockroaches should be all over restaurants now do you?

Check out this episode!

Monday, October 29, 2018

The Nazi in My Back Yard

The Nazi / MAGABomber parked his van 500 feet from my apartment.  This was scary enough but I see us doing just...stupid shit.  Stupid stuff that does so much harm to our country that we need to stop legitimizing the people who made all this possible.

Check out this episode!

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

There Should Be Consequences for Not Voting

I am sitting here in awe at the people defending those who don't vote.  We're dealing with an actual fascist in the white house and these people want to sit on their hands.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! It is bad enough that some will set and let an ax murderer climb in our house and kill us in our sleep while they shrug their shoulders but you're going to sit there and defend the undefendable?


What. Is. Wrong. With. You?!

Check out this episode!

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Episode Especial

Estoy haciendo este episodio en español porque hablo español (más o menos) pero últimamente he notado muchos informes de noticias que dicen que los votantes latinos no van a votar. Este es un problema real porque te han mentido.

Check out this episode!

Sunday, October 7, 2018

11 Fixes To a Broken Everything - The Supreme Court as Lords

The first of an 11 part Eagle of Phoenix series, we ask "What can be done to fix this illegitimate court using our limited and flawed constitution?"  We need to focus on 2020 when we can potentially have a democratic president and a democratic legislature to reign in this frankenstein the conservatives have created...8 Justices and an Unindited Rapist.

Check out this episode!

Sunday, September 30, 2018

8 Questions That Should Be Asked of The LDS Church - What Can We Do?

The average member of the LDS church has known nothing else in their life.  They have no idea how miserable they are and that they don't have to be that way.  How can you help them realize it? How can you reduce the influence of the toxic monstrosity that their culture has become while still respecting their very christian and very legitimately holy beliefs?  This podcast explores that.

Check out this episode!

Saturday, September 22, 2018

8 Questions That Should Be Asked About the LDS Church - Silence is Golden

So say you agree with me, but are an active member of the LDS Church, what's to be done about it? Damned if I know.  You aren't allowed to disagree with them publicly in any area that matters and the louder and more publicly you disagree with them, the more likely your excommunication will be.  You can be silent and active, or you can be disobedient and soon to be not a member.  There is very little to no middle ground.

Check out this episode!

Sunday, September 16, 2018

8 Questions that Should be Asked About the LDS Church - Dead White Horse

The White Horse Prophesy says (supposedly) that Joseph Smith said that the United States Constitution will supposedly hang by a threat and that an elder of the church would come in riding on a "White Horse" to save it.  The church and a number of its leaders have denied that this prophesy is real and yet so many of its leaders and most prominent members secretly in their sacrement and sunday meetings talk as if it were actually scripture.

Check out this episode!

Sunday, September 9, 2018

8 Questions that Should be Asked about the LDS Church - It Takes a Lot of Men to Make a Gun

Lots, if not all Christian Churches are apocalyptic.  Few are prophetic hierachical decentralized with no lay clergy that actively believe in helping prophesy along.  The LDS church is hoarding vast stock piles of food and also has a lay leadership that has questionable Checkov's Shotgun in the 2nd act how long will it be before someone with power in the LDS church decides to help prophesy along to help make the LDS church look good?

Check out this episode!

Thursday, August 30, 2018

8 Questions that Should be Asked about the LDS Church - Bad Sex and Logan's Run

The Gerintocracy of the LDS Church ensures that the religion will always be conservatives which means that it will only make reforms to its social culture when absolutely forced to long after the rest of society has learned its lesson and moved on.

Check out this episode!

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

8 Questions that Should be Asked about the LDS Church - The Power of Story

Per Mormon belief you can be a good person and not ever be able to see your family again if you don't accept Russel M Nelson (their current leader) as a Prophet Seer and Revalator.  That seems very unchristlike and not the kind of plan his church would follow.

Check out this episode!

Sunday, August 12, 2018

8 Questions That Need to be Asked About the LDS Church

The LDS Church actively promotes the Book of Mormon as "Another Testament of Jesus Christ" but routinely ignores the parts of their own scripture that advocate that they treat Native Americans well.  This podcast explores, among other things; their treatment of White Conservative Israel vs Native Americans - both of whom they need to treat with honor and how they actually treat both.

Check out this episode!

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Final Judgement

My Testimony in the "Final Judgement" if it hypothetically occured in the LDS Final Judgement.

Check out this episode!

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Celebrating The Spirit of America

As someone who travels (in my mind at least) from one reality to another like changing hats, and as an animist who could (in my mind at least) have a conversation with an animal or a hatrack; knowing the difference between fantasy and reality is as quintessential a survival skill as knowing how to find water when traveling the Sahara.  Its not a matter of being "crazy" its a matter of knowing who you are and where you are.

So when people tell me that they can't celebrate the 4th right now, I ask...which America?

If you mean the United States of America in the Darkest Timeline (it isn't, I mean there are realities with zombies and killer robots or the great Mime Virus, but it's a signpost travelers recognize), then you have reason to be cynical.  The empire is in decline, and doesn't know it is dead.  It elected (ELECTED no less) its Nero and Caligula all wrapped up in one.  It's alliances are crumbling and it has actually done things that would make the nazis blush.  Sure the nazis gassed and killed children box cars but they never made up whole concentration camps JUST for kids.

America has problems.

But there Americas worth celebrating.  There are a lot of ways to get there; remember in The Nightmare Before Christmas, there was a door to the 4th of July, or the big Ben whale with the clock on its tale in the Rudolph story.  There are places where the IDEALS of America exist.  The America of Cinematic Glory; which is much closer to reality in Terra than Earth ever would be. 

In this America; the cops arrest the bad guys and help the good guys.  They uphold the constitution and the ideals for which it stands including liberty and justice for all.  That's worth celebrating.

In this America, the American soldier stands for liberty and has fought to uphold democracy and to free countries under the yoke of tyranny.  That's worth celebrating.

In this America, the constitution is a document that stands for freedom with restraint; the separation of powers and the judicious prohibition of power and its abuse thereof.  That's worth celebrating.

In this America, a country full of innovation and relentless economic opporutinity for immigrants that gives everyone a fair shake and a chance through hard work to pull themselves up from their bootstraps to go from Rags to Riches.  That's worth celebrating.

Fireworks that don't frighten animals but that explode in wonder and fire to help us remember a revolution for all (not just rich, white, land owning farmers); that's worth celebrating.

Family values; about a nation that celebrates all kinds of families and all kinds of marriages and people coming together with picnics and apple pie and potato salad and hotdogs and burgers on the grill.  That's worth celebrating.

Hard work and daily lives interwoven together and people that work to help each other in all the ways that matter.  That's worth celebrating.

There are Americas I believe in; not just the spirit of America but even the America of the Best Timeline...where Gore won twice, then Obama, then Bernie Sanders.  His likely successor will be Elizabeth Warren.  I believe in an america of econimc justice and innovation that makes peace with its mentally ill minority and quietly puts them in the reservations they belong in. 

But make no mistake; this America worth celebrating is right next to all the other empires in the rubbish bin of history; all the things worth celebrating that are British with cool hats and victorian england and tea and funny mustaches and silly walks, or Rome with great roads and shining military parades and soldiers with broom hats.  But be careful walking around those realms because they are not that far from empires that have no spirit worth celebrating at all but are just as fictionalized like Soviet Russia or the 3rd Reich or North Korea.

There are americas worth celebrating, and I celebrate them but a traveler is wise to know where they are and what they are doing.  Happy traveling.

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

My Final Testimony

My Final Testimony

Check out this episode!

Reposted from my Live Journal - Dec 17 2007 - My Last Testimony or Why I left the LDS Faith

Spiritual Death is defined by the LDS church as separation from God the Eternal Father, and is considerably worse than physical death which is overcome by a universal resurrection achieved by the atonement of Jesus Christ.

In the LDS faith, Spiritual Death is basically achieved by not being Mormon. One can go to a variety of heaven, but one cannot return and dwell in the presence of the father. Furthermore, to the degree one publicly opposes the LDS church, one condemns one's self to spiritual death. Thus, one can understand the proper context of the quote by Joseph Smith that says, "When you join the Church of Jesus Christ, you leave neutral ground forever behind."

What a remarkably convenient way of neutralizing people that leave the church and then condemn it.

So I am going to play their game, and yet not play it.

On October 26th, 2007, My wife and I formally left the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

( Collapse ) defines church as "church /tʃɜrtʃ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[church] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
1. a building for public Christian worship.
2. public worship of God or a religious service in such a building: to attend church regularly.
3. (sometimes initial capital letter) the whole body of Christian believers; Christendom.
4. (sometimes initial capital letter) any division of this body professing the same creed and acknowledging the same ecclesiastical authority; a Christian denomination: the Methodist Church.
5. that part of the whole Christian body, or of a particular denomination, belonging to the same city, country, nation, etc.
6. a body of Christians worshipping in a particular building or constituting one congregation: She is a member of this church.
7. ecclesiastical organization, power, and affairs, as distinguished from the state: separation of church and state; The missionary went wherever the church sent him.
8. the clergy and religious officials of a Christian denomination.
9. the Christian faith: a return of intellectuals to the church.
10. (initial capital letter) the Christian Church before the Reformation.
11. (initial capital letter) the Roman Catholic Church.
12. the clerical profession or calling: After much study and contemplation, he was prepared to enter the church.
13. a place of public worship of a non-Christian religion.
14. any non-Christian religious society, organization, or congregation: the Jewish church."

Wow. That's a lot of meanings, but the point is that the word church can mean a lot of things. The LDS theocracy will define church as "What we say it is", but since I am no longer interested in their opinions, let me state that I am defining church in this case as "The theological doctrines taught by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints as they should be practiced, not as they are practiced." I am not going to attack the church as it is supposed to exist on paper; I AM going to mention my reasons for leaving the LDS Church and my utter contempt for those who run it.

Having established these very narrow parameters, let me now state my primary reason for leaving.

Here is a scripture that states for me the basic tenets of anyone baptized into the LDS church. It is the oath they take and the covenant that they make upon accepting babtism.

"8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—
10 Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?" - Mosiah 18: 8-10 (From the Book of Mormon)

The part of that scripture that applies here is, "Stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things and all places that ye may be in."

Thus it is that I write here as a witness on December 13, 2007 with all of the spiritual surity that I possess, and the knowledge that Jesus Christ is my savior that Gordon B. Hinkley, Thomas S. Monson, and James E. Faust are sniveling weasel crotch lickers who have deliberately enabled evil for their own personal political agenda; and that as a result of personal prayer and research, I also testify that virtually all of those who have held the title of Apostle in the entire history of the church are also sniveling weasel crotch lickers.

Fact #1: Dick Cheney is an evil man.

Fact #2: The LDS Prophet is revered throughout the LDS community and from a young age we are taught to emulate his every action.

These are facts. I am not going to argue about them here. For Fact #1, see the rest of my blog entries, and for Fact #2 open any lesson manual of any kind in any LDS meeting house in the entire world. There, in dozens of different languages, you will find language saying that while yes, the Prophet is a man, we are to pay attention to his words AS IF THEY COME FROM THE LORD HIMSELF, AND THAT HE DOES NOT NEED TO SAY 'THUS SAYETH THE LORD' FOR THEM TO BE CONSIDERED AS BINDING AS SCRIPTURE.

There is a heirarchy of LDS revelation and the purity thereof. Anything with the full authorization of the First Presidency (current living) and the Quorum of the Twelve is at the top of that list, but every little thing is still condemnation against you if you do not abide by it.

On April 26th, 2007 Dick Cheney spoke by invitation at the BYU commencement. All three members of the first presidency were in attendance.

The shock of this act forced me to begin researching the church's past, primarily in the books "Under the Banner of Heaven" by Jon Krakau and "The Mormon Heirarchy" by D. Michael Quinn. The latter book is a secular history of the leadership of the LDS church told by someone excommunicated, and yet who still believes. The source material on this book is as thick as its material and the sources are all publicly available and not easily disputed.

Understand, that April 26th, 2007 was not the reason I left the church. It was merely when other sources outside of the church became more believable than LDS sources. Gordon B. Hinkley has given talks about the need, "to focus on the positive and not focus on the negative aspects of an instutition." This only goes so far.

Ignoring minor errors would be one thing.

But some things cannot be ignored, including:

1)Joseph Smith destroyed the Navoo Expositor for publicly stating that he was having sex with other men's wives.

The LDS church denies this, but after April 26, 2007, I believe other people before I believe the LDS church.

2)Henry D. Moyle publicly encouraged and created Baseball Babtisms in which young children were encouraged to join the church and be babtized 'so they could be part of an athletic club.' Not rogue missionaries, not insane bishops obsessed with numbers, but a member of the first presidency.

The church will deny this, but after April 26, 2007, I believe other people before I believe the LDS church.

3)Joseph Smith taught that the office of Presiding Patriarch was central to the spiritual well being of the church. He also taught without the office of Presiding Patriarch, dire spiritual consequences would befall the church. Joseph F. Smith was the last president to treat this office with respect. Others phased it out because they were jealous of its power. Modern day LDS leaders say the office is now unnecessary. The last major spiritual scripture added was a vision received by Joseph F. Smith. Modern prophets do not talk about visions or other unearthly things.

The church will deny this, and say that I am taking things out of context, but after April 26, 2007, I believe other people before I believe the LDS church.

4) Those pioneers we're always honoring? They formed conspiracy after conspiracy. The early history of the church is rife with murder, political intruige and sabotage, secret combinations which are warned against in the Book of Mormon.

Including my name sake, Thomas E. Ricks.

The church will deny this, and say that I am taking things out of context, but after April 26, 2007, I believe other people before I believe the LDS church.

5) Gordon B. Hinkley personally led the effort to destroy the ERA. But not just the ERA, but ALL issues being discussed advocating the rights of women being discussed in the feminist groups that they destroyed.

The church will deny this, and say that I am taking things out of context, but after April 26, 2007, I believe other people before I believe the LDS church.

6) Ezra Taft Benson was closely tied to the John Birch society, which was the close political ally and patron of Senator Joseph McCarthy, a figure who I despite with loathing that even exceeds my distate for Andrew "Hickory" Jackson, the genocidal maniac. Ezra Taft Benson was often in outright REBELLION against the other leaders of quorum, but WAS NOT EXCOMMUNICATED. In his later years, he 'was moderate' but he did not apologize for his associations with people who thought McCarthy was a great guy either.

These are the people who are fueling Ann Coulter, who is a McCarthy apologist. This is the leader of the LDS church.

The church will deny this, and say that I am taking things out of context, but after April 26, 2007, I believe other people before I believe the LDS church.

There are more but these are the big ones.

I am never going to discuss this with a mormon. I am never going to argue with them about it. I had a testimony. I know that this is not a question of rational argument. Spiritual truths do not come from intellectual treatise. I had an argument with a friend of mine who is a member of the church. In that discussion he said, "If 99% of that book is true, if even 1% of it is false then it is a lie and cannot be relied upon."

Which I immediately turned around and said, "If 99% of what the church says is true, if even 1% of it is false, then it is a lie and cannot be relied upon."

Furthermore, to which of the two shall we hold the higher standard? The academic treatise and history by a mortal man, or the Kingdom of God on Earth, with Sentinels against the darkness appointed by power, priesthood and prophesy? Sure the Prophet is supposed to be merely a man, but at the same time he possesses all the keys of the kingdom, all of the spiritual gifts of god, and acts as a prophet, seer and revelator. A Seer is an office in which the holder bearsa seer stone, in which all things past, present and future pertaining to the mysteries of God are revealed before them.

Furthermore, Joseph Smith himself taught, "And he answered: Yea, Lord, I know that thou speakest the truth, for thou art a God of truth, and canst not lie." Ether 3:12. And furthermore,

"46 And verily, verily, I say unto you, that whatsoever you seal on earth shall be sealed in heaven; and whatsoever you bind on earth, in my name and by my word, saith the Lord, it shall be eternally bound in the heavens; and whosesoever sins you remit on earth shall be remitted eternally in the heavens; and whosesoever sins you retain on earth shall be retained in heaven.
47 And again, verily I say, whomsoever you bless I will bless, and whomsoever you curse I will curse, saith the Lord; for I, the Lord, am thy God." Doctrine and Covenants 132: 45-46.

Finally, THIS scripture I believe sums it all up nicely:

"11 Suffer not yourself to be led away by any vain or foolish thing; suffer not the devil to lead away your heart again after those wicked harlots. Behold, O my son, how great iniquity ye brought upon the Zoramites; for when they saw your conduct they would not believe in my words."
Alma 39: 11, in which the prophet Alma condemns his son for his wickedness which caused others to lose their faith in the word being taught by the other prophets.

On April 26th, 2007 Gordon B. Hinkley cavorted with demons, and was not struck dead by God for it. Thus, the inevitable conclusion is that he is not a prophet, but a tool of the Adversary. There is no 'middle ground' in LDS theology. I KNOW Dick Cheney is evil, so therefore those who honor him, those who shower him with honorary degrees, CANNOT be the wardens and servants of God.

But even then, even then I still prayed. I wanted to be sure. So for six months I waited and prayed patiently with my wife. And the Lord confirmed to me that Hinkley is not a prophet. I still feel the spirit of Christ. I still believe in him, but I do not believe that Gordon B. Hinkley or any other leader of the current Church of Jesus Christ has ever been authorized to act as an arbiter of God's will on Earth.

And even, somehow, if I were wrong in that belief, they lost it the moment they honored the genocidal war criminal.

And since an LDS testimony is one given by emotions and spiritual insight rather than rational well thought out beliefs based on empirical and verifiable evidence, let me give another testimony based on spiritual insights, not from proof but from Truths given me by God, to the extent that my god given intuition and rationality can provide those insights.

I testify that Mitt Romney is part of a hidden order within the LDS church destined by a hidden prophesy that one of their number will become president, hence why the father and now the son has tried this, and I believe the son and his son and his son after him will try until they succeed.

I testify that it is because of this secret order that Gordon B. Hinkley and the other leaders of the LDS church have set aside common decency, and 'in the greater good' made a deal with Dick Cheney to honor him at BYU in return for the secret support of George H.W. Bush in the 2008 Presidential election.

I testify that is NO ACCIDENT that the 'mormon speech' that Mitt Romney gave last week was in College Station Texas, home of Texas A&M and also home of the George H.W. Bush presidential library.

I testify that it is no accident that Jeb Bush supports Mitt Romney, and that the Lord was severely displeased by Jeb's actions regarding Terry Shiavo. I further testify that so displeased was the lord by these actions that he condemns Jeb Bush and the entire Bush family unto the fourth generation lest they repent and condemn the actions of the unrighteous father. I further testify that these sins and that this curse is associated and extended to any advocated by Jeb Bush who doth not turn around and condemn the weasel crotch licker for the animal thing that he is instead of accepting Jeb's praise.

I testify that George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld, Condeleza Rice, and anyone in the Project For the American Century will be answerable both to God and an an earthly tribunal and that I believe that tribunal will be the International Criminal Court (which they all condemned) and that they will all be tried as war criminals; not for their conduct in Afghanistan, but for the advocation and tolerance of torture and other war crimes in the country of Iraq.

I further testify that if Mitt Romney is elected President of the United States of America, a curse shall come upon this nation so dark and so black that none, not even the republican minority that refuses to acknowledge the sins of their leaders shall fail to see the Hand of God at work.

I say this in the Name of Jesus Christ, my lord and savior.


Saturday, June 2, 2018

I had to shut the comments off

I've had this blog since 2007, and MIRACULOUSLY in the last 3 weeks since I was threatened if I "Harassed" my sister with a lawsuit (btw...Mormons aren't supposed to sue people, but they care more about someone swearing than actually following really any of the principals of the sermon on the mount) I get a comment that is spam and gibberish for the first time in 11 years running this blog.

So I shut off the comments.

Friday, June 1, 2018

Terroristic Threats From My Family

I have taken a break from my podcasting and other blog posting due to a threat of a lawsuit from my family members; one of whom has married someone who makes other people very nervous and three of whom sat silently by while he called me a 'physical threat' to their children because I was worried about their mentally ill child and threatened to expose their future ADULT daughter to the entirity of negative things said by my sister and I.

A peace was brokered but at the last minute they said that they reserved the right to sue me if I "Harassed" them.  I simply wanted no contact.

Basically, this is terroristic threats using the legal system as an economic cudgel on myself and my wife.  I have to constantly wonder what might constitute "Harassment" under his rather fantatical conservative beliefs, and quite frankly strongly suspect that given his personal close first name friendship with Mitt Romney and my intense personal political dislike of Romney that he is using my sister as his Vector of Amusement.

Not that my family (many of them) aren't just sitting there and letting it happen.

So basically I'm taking a break due to disgust, but if they decide to sue me frankly I think they'll have no case.

I'm prepared to expose their behavior for what it is.


Saturday, May 5, 2018

Mommeries - Part 23

Precious Bodily Fluids.   Stone Knives and Bear Skins.  The Four Humors.

Check out this episode!

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Three Fictional Characters

On Terra, they have facebook, but we made them apply a lot more of the privacy filters.  Since Super Hackers and Super Scientists were going to get the data anyway, we at least wanted to make them work for it. 

One man's real, is another man's fictional.  TC is fictional to me, and I'm fictional to TC.  There is a meme going around Earth Facebook that involves making 3 fictional characters about who make them....TC choose Rory from Doctor Who, The Spectre from DC Comics and The Mask from Image comics.  A good choice since they reflect him well.

I think I'm a lot simpler than that.  TC is a very complicated character, fitting of a more gritty and realistic world. I'm a man who lived most of his life in the Florida swamp and made a simple living playing tour guide on a bridge that spanned multiple dimensions and then occasionally possessed someone from Earth to get the ability to write stories.  Well, when you put it that way, I guess it makes my life sound complicated too doesn't it?

But I can't really pick fictional characters that 'make up mylife' what I can tell you is three that I've listened too a lot and that have a pretty heavy impact on TC as well.  A tragic circumstance recent affected TC's family so I think it particularly appropriate to post these three quotes.

""Strange isn't it, Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole doesn't he?"  That's from It's a wonderful life and Clarence.  Lots of fictional works since then have shown what the world would be like.  TC is a mixed up guy, banishing part of his soul like that, but he understands that even he has an impact on others.  We don't see it.  The Van Go question is a real one.  We just don't know how much impact we have on others...but it is there.

"Business!' cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. "Mankind was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The deals of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!” The links on that chain, that which is forged or not forged affects both TC and I.  But I think I have a lot less chains than he.  I was a lot luckier about where I ended up in the lottery we call life I suppose.

The third...well, that's Emily from "Our Town" but it kind of reflects on that Old Spook the Ghost of Chrismas Future who said, ".............................." which I think says it best, but Emily said

“EMILY: "Does anyone ever realize life while they live it...every, every minute?"

STAGE MANAGER: "No. Saints and poets maybe...they do some.” 
― Thornton WilderOur Town

You're wrong there Mr Stage manager, I am all the time.  But you would call me fictional.  TC? Well TC is not a saint, though he was a 'saint'...but he's got enough of Emmit in him to do a pretty good job of it.  I think that commercial "What would you like on your tombstone" is a pretty good one.  What do you want your tombstone to really say?

"She saved the world a lot" is a good one.

Something more than a series of dates that make people sad when it isn't a long one is good too.  "Seize the day boys, seize the day" indeed.

Saturday, April 7, 2018

Saturday, March 31, 2018

Thursday, March 29, 2018

[Script] Dog Mirror Leaves Act 3


Scene: Cat on counter, knocking treats on floor, dog eating them up.  For 10 minutes.

Roll credits.
During the credits, human comes home and finds the kitty litter box empty screams.

More credits.

Human finds the treats empty and screams.

More credits.

Human stands in front of two way mirror with DIM saying “You looking for a good game of poker?” - Feints (queue to black)

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

[Script] Dog Mirror Leaves Act 2 Page 2

Third Poker Dog: How did he whip out that badge?

Dog: Huh?

Third Poker Dog: Dogs don’t have thumbs

Deg: I do too.

Third Poker Dog: Oh? Show us.

Deg: Right here. (raises paw)

Third Poker Dog: I knew it! No thumbs!

Dog: But...we’ve all been holding cards.

Third Poker Dog: Damn it, you’re right.

First Poker Dog: What does this have to do with the meaning of life?

Cat: The meaning of life is to serve me.

First Poker Dog: Where the hell did you come from? Get him boys!

Second Poker Dog: Wait, I don’t have thumbs either! Someone stole my thumbs!

Scene: Cat goes up to Dog.  

Cat: This is a silly place.  Let’s go home.  The emergency backup human has left the closet open and you can eat my poop.


Cat: Yes, really.

Dog: Hooray!

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Thursday, March 22, 2018

[Script] Dog Mirror Leaves Act 2 Page 1

Act II

Scene (Interior): Time has passed, there is a lot of money on the table.

First Poker Dog: So, what do you think about the existential nature of the universe?

Dog: I … um … er … (suddenly, anxiously starts licking his behind)

First Poker Dog: That’s not a bad idea.

Second Poker Dog: Is it licking my behind or your behind?

Third Poker Dog: Or licking my balls?

First Poker Dog: Not all of us have balls, how can that be the meaning of life?

Second Poker Dog: (beat) Not any more.

Dog: Drinking out of the toilet?

Deg: So do you guys actually play poker? I haven’t seen any real poker playing, just dogs posing and pretending to be playing poker. What’s actually going on here?

(Dog whips out a police dog badge)

First Poker Dog: Now you interrupted my speech about the difference between Aristotelian thought and the correlation to later ecclesiastical reforms with St Thomas Aquinas.

Second Poker Dog: Not the angels dancing on the head of a pin, again.

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

[Script] Dog Mirror Leaves Act 1 Page 4

Second Poker Dog: Hey!

Third Poker Dog: Hey hey hey

Fourth Poker Dog: Hey hey

Scene (Wide shot): All the dogs start barking.

Dog: (Makes an effort to sniff First Poker Dog’s butt….)

Scene (Interior) There is much butt sniffing.

First Poker Dog: Alright! Let’s play some poker!

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Thursday, March 15, 2018

[Script] Dog Mirrors Leaves Act 1 - Page 3

DOG: Just kidding. (happy dog face) I don’t eat cards unless they’ve been handled by someone who’s been eating something really good (wink). Thanks for letting me borrow your tux. My human looks mighty snappy in his. haha!

DOG IN MIRROR: Whew. So many of us eat ANYTHING it's just hard to get a good game going.  Step on in and I will show you where to play.  

SCENE (Interior) Dog walks through the mirror.  

SCENE (Interior) Dog and Dog in Mirror walk into a walk in closet.  

SCENE (Close Up) Dog in Mirror nods.

Scene (Interior) Dog is wearing a Tuxedo and wags his tail.

SCENE (interior) A hidden casino. Dogs in Tuxedos and evening gowns at various tables playing card, roulette, slot machines. Dogs dressed as wait-persons are carrying trays of toilet water in martini glasses, close-up of staff scooping poop out of cat litter boxes, carefully putting toothpicks in each poop and arranging them “appealingly” on a silver platter, etc. D.i.M. takes a drink and a “treat.”  An Iguana wearing a sun visor is running an old fashioned 8 button calculator in the back with a ticker.

D.i.M.: Mmmmmm!” Pre-processed protein. Chicken? I think?

DOG: Yes.  Can’t you smell it?

D.i.M: I don’t have as good a sense of smell as you.

DOG: Oh.

Scene (Close Up of Dog) Dog looks sad.

Dog (VO) Wow.  That must really suck for him.  Poor guy.  I wonder if tried to smell a meteorite and it smashed him in the nose and it did things to him.

Scene (Interior) D.i.M motions over to his shoulder to Dog

D.i.M: What’s up? Everyone is waiting.

Scene (Interior) Wide shot of a poker table.  It matches a “classic” painting loosely with 4-5 dogs.

Poker Dog: Hey Dog, how you?

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

[Script] Dog Mirrors Leaves Act 1 Page 2

SCENE: Another leaf blows into the window. The cat sees it reflected in the mirror, leaps over the dog to attack the mirror and falls through the mirror.


DOG IN MIRROR: Hey yourself handsome. What's up?


(looking at D.I.M.)

I really am ruggedly handsome, aren’t I?

DOG IN MIRROR: DAMN Straight you are! Wanna go out on the town?

DOG: Um...sure?

DOG IN MIRROR: I know the PERFECT poker place.

DOG: Really?

DOG IN MIRROR: Would I lie to you?”

DOG: Um….

DOG IN MIRROR: Do you own a Tuxedo?

DOG: What’s a Tuxedo?

DOG IN MIRROR: I’ll take that as a no.  You can borrow mine.

DOG: What if I don’t know how to play poker?

DOG IN MIRROR: Good question. You bluff.  Pretend like you have the best hand in the world.  Look at what all the other dogs are doing and …..wait.  You Don't eat cards do you?

DOG: What is a card?




Saturday, March 10, 2018

Mommeries - Part 19

Welcome to the Extended Family.  You pay. We decide.

Check out this episode!

Thursday, March 8, 2018

[Script] Dog Mirrors Leaves - Act 1 Page 1

Act I

OPENING SCENE: A scruffy-looking dog, snoring in a pet bed at the foot of a floor mirror.

Narrator (VO): What is the nature of Dog?

The Dog Awakens.

SCENE (INT): A leaf blows into the window.

SCENE (CLOSE UP): The Dog eyes the leaf.

SCENE: Cat tears past the dog’s face and rushes to the window, “attacking” the leaf.

DOG: You never get tired of that, do you?

Cat: Nope.

SCENE: Cat starts grooming self.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

[Script] Dog Mirrors Leaves Start

Dog Mirror Leaves
A Hobo Tale

A screenplay by

Tom Drake


Josie Burgin Lawson


Dog: Scruffy Looking

Cat: A cat

Dog in mirror: A laid back version of Dog

Narrator: A Narrator