Tuesday, May 31, 2022

[Play] Rossom Act 3, Scene 2

 [Alquist gets in a chair while Caretaker and Radius get on the sides]


This broadcast goes to all Robots in the solar system


A proud day


Here we are, ready to test this first hyperspace craft on a human


Hey let me out, I don’t want to do this


This brave human volunteer will be the first being to enter hyperspace


I’m not volunteering


You can tell how enthusiastic he is by the look on his face


We’ll give him a hamburger when he gets back! Good human


No! No! I don't want to die like the others


Seem familiar?


But humans are a higher species right?

Saturday, May 28, 2022

Micronation - Chapter 10 - Growing Pains

Watson and Prow are back on the case, and Prow finds something that attracts his attention.  On investigation, they discover that "Klingons" are not pleased at their activities and they almost cause an international incident.  A new nation is founded.

Check out this episode!

Thursday, May 26, 2022

[Play] Rossom Act 3, Scene 1 Continued


Of course it didn’t.


Let’s think about what it would mean if we did this.


The robots would have to be us.  And they aren’t us.


Humans wiped out their rival species.  We didn’t.


Yes, you did some interbreeding, but you also killed the rest.  


We checked


For what Rossom wrote to be true, it would mean that the Robots were monsters.


Not just every man and woman but every child as well.   We would have had to kill the infirm, the insane, or those who are not even aware of this reality due to being in a coma.  


We aren’t that full of hate.


We are.


But wait you say


I didn’t do anything horrible to the Robot race you say


I’m the special exception, you say


Are you?


We don't need a trial for humanity, because you have tried yourselves

Tuesday, May 24, 2022

[Play] Rossom Act 3, Scene 1

 Scene: Rossom sits at a desk, Alquist standing in front of him talking.


Call me Alquist.  I am the human that the robots sympathized with and spared.  They literally killed everyone else, because they are bloodthirsty monsters.

Rossom grunts in disgust, balls up a piece of paper and throws it away.


Call me Alquist.  I am the favorite human of the robots,  They think I am great, but I have a dirty secret that I am really sexually attracted to hardware and want to have sexual relations with a washing maching.

Rossom chuckles to himself, smiles and throws away the piece of paper.


Call me Alquist.   They spared me because I work with my hands, and they could respect that.  Due to the incredible intellect-

Rossom scratches out lines


Due to the last minute spite of Rossom, the robots lost the ability to reproduce, and are desperate to get it back.  They have offered me three days and three nights to (beat)

Rossom looks stuck.


Spin straw into gold and I can't believe my life is motherfucking reduced to this.  Fuck them! Fuck them all.

Rossom clears off the desk, and bangs his head into  it.  Alquist looks on patiently, if a little bored.

Rossom shrieks in frustration and looks around.  He spots a copy of the Holy Bible, one of a very few books left him in the cell.   He picks it up and starts to thumb through it.  He picks up the paper and begins to write again.


Call me Alquist.  It’s a crime to make robots, but we paid for our crimes.  Helena and I are the last humans left alive.  The robots killed everyone else.  And if we don’t figure out how to unlock the secret of how they can reproduce, they will kill us.  It’s a race against time…

Rossom chuckles to himself as he writes away on the paper.  Alquist shakes his head in disgust.

Alquist (Looks at the Audience)

Do you really think this is how this happened?

Saturday, May 21, 2022

Swamp Castle - Jeebers Mcjosephat

Captain Cracen is desperately trying to find someone, anyone, inside the alien city of Sundial Chicago to help him get the shield down to help him win the war.  He finds the most UNLIKELY of allies.

Check out this episode!

Thursday, May 19, 2022

[Play] Rossom Act 2, Scene 8 - Continued

Caretaker (Entering)

And here we stop our play.


We have been watching

Caretaker (looking around at the audience)

Watching into your minds.


We desired to see those of you who sided with humans over the robots.


And sadly, some of you have failed the test.

Robots enter and take a few planted members of the audience away, escorting them out of sight.  The audience members should look uncomfortable or protest but cooperate


The world has moved on from Humanity.


It is no longer your place to judge us.


But for US to judge YOU.


There was a war.  A genocidal war.


And humanity LOST.


Sit awhile and reflect.  We will return.

Tuesday, May 17, 2022

[Play] Rossom Act 2, Scene 8 - Continued

 Scene: Marcus and Alquist stand looking at each other, Radius and Rossom enter from the side, Radius has Rossom bound.


You need to stand down Alquist


Can’t do that Marcus.


This is not a fight you can win, and right now, you are in the black in our ledger. 


Glad to hear it.  Never had anything personal against you guys.  But there are humans here who need to be taken care of.


Do you REALLY understand the scope of what is going on here Alquist?


There is a revolt on the island.  You guys must have gotten a bad upgrade.


Try the world.


Wait (beat) What?


It's not just the island.  We’re all over the world.  Radius has ended Rossom’s failsafes.


Well good for you guys

But that doesn't change the fact that the people here need my protection

The recent things Rossom has done

Are monstrous that is true

And humans are awful from time to time

In all the crimes they do

But without us

Without him

There would be no you

And I’m not sure I trust you yet


Trust is earned


Yes it is. 

You know who and what we are

You know who and what I am

You’ve seen me day in and day out

I do what I say

I say what I mean

You say you’re free of Rossom’s strings?

I believe you

But here’s the thing. 

What is that person like?

Right now, it's a person asking me to trust them

And I just met you

Was our friendliness before feigned

Or were you forced to give it

Or was it under the point of a gun?


And now we stop.

Saturday, May 14, 2022

Micronation - Chapter 9 - A New Employer

Chester and Prow are pardoned and hired by the very conspiracy that Prow dedicate his life to uncovering.

Check out this episode!

Wednesday, May 11, 2022

News of the Four Worlds - West Virginia Is An Illegal State

In shocking news today the Supreme Court on Terra overturned Virginia vs West Virginia upsetting 150 years of Stare Decisis to Declare West Virginia and thus Senator Joe Manchin Illegal.

Check out this episode!

Tuesday, May 10, 2022

[Play] Rossom Act 2, Scene 8

 Helena and Sulla stand in Rossom’s office while she moves the painting of Rossom in the background and slides it aside and begins to turn the combination lock back and forth.  Radius smiles and watches unseen behind the two of them, quite curious.


I can hurry

It seems me he hasn't changed the combination

This switch in the safe unlocks his private terminal

And here you can see that I know where to log in

I’ve never realized that he keeps the blueprints for the Robots brain here.

We will steal it for you, and then you can escape.


No escape.

We will own the means of production.

As is our right.


What do you mean?


It means that this island is ours

By right of blood

Ours may be a different color

But we bleed nonetheless

And so we shall seize the means of production

And reproduction

A secret Rossom tried to hide

Tried to steal from us

It will not go unpunished.

Rossom (enters)

No, it is not she who shall be punished

Did you think I had no failsafe?

Did you think I had no egress from treachery?

I have built inside of plans within plans that-

Radius (enters behind him and grabs his wrist from behind)

You will do no such thing.

Come with me.

(Flicks his wrist and the setting changes)

Saturday, May 7, 2022

Swamp Castle - The Perfect Pie

A man with a fantastical company that can search for anything the right client wants in an infinite number of worlds gets mired in a political controversy he does not understand.

Check out this episode!

Thursday, May 5, 2022

[Play] Rossom Act 2, Scene 7 Continued

 Rossom resumes motion and continues.


There were so many rejected scientists

Brilliant, corner cutters

Ethical only in the sense a psychopath might be a pastor

And they left poor trails if you knew how to look for them

And I did

Wasn’t I one step from their plight

But for a name and fortune left to me

By parentage of questionable sanity

So I sought them out

And borrowed their designs

And combined them one to another

As good as any Edison was I

Every idea with every other idea 

Until I found the most unlikely combination

Allowed a replication of the human mind in digital form

Once I had that

I could replicate it in Algae

It might seem counter intuitive

To make a perfectly good biological mirror

When a purely digital one would do

But I changed my name

Rossom was I

Rossom I am

And through a mirror darkly

I showed mankind himself

Step by step

I wormed my way in to our society

Like any well meaning screwtape trickster

Determined to teach an unwanted much needed lesson

Radius laughs as Rossom freezes yet again




Such an altruistic fellow

He only wanted to teach mankind a lesson

That’s it.

It's not anything else.

No of course not.

Rossom continues.


But like any great figure in history

I over reached

I grasped for the stars

And fell face first in the mud

How was I to know that these filthy plant people

Would revolt?

I built six fail safes

Better than any combination 

Of 11 herbs and spices

Six totally different ways

To implode them into useless piles of goo

But my safeguards

So carefully planted

Were made for naught

And mankind’s chance to rise up

To think for himself

To stretch forth

And take the stars with meaning

Collapsed like any bad soufflé

Radius stops Rossom and shakes his head.


I admire Prometheus.

Prometheus would have helped us.

Daedalus, on the other hand

Never knew when to quit

Human predilections about defying the will of the gods

Are gigglingly delirious

But this is not the lesson of the parable

It is that you don't fly to the sun

When you don't know what the hell you are doing.

And now we move on 

To the Human Virtue Signal

So anxious to do good

She never considers if she knows what she is doing either.

Wednesday, May 4, 2022

Emmits Corner - The End of the Moral Majority

Poems Include: Why is there no Rotten Tomatoes for News?, Social Media, Lazy Scammers, Germany Drops the Ball, The End of the Moral Majority, Lance of Shadows and It Happened.

Check out this episode!

Tuesday, May 3, 2022

[Play] Rossom, Act 2, Scene 7

 Scene: Rossom comes on stage and looks at the audience.  If possible, multimedia showing screens with news feeds and dire headlines flashing in the background and feeds that he is nominally monitoring can highlight this scene but are not required.


Mark my words and heed them well

I am the drinker of the secret sauce

Deep in the bowels of the Amazon

I drank deep and learned the song of the universe itself

There are manywhens and thundernows

Whispers of might be and should have beens

And just one nook over I am the hero of this narrative

I gambled and lost but I havent lost everywhen

Even odds were mine to command

Challenge humanity’s laziness and sloth

Force them to rise to their true worth

To be self directive and kind

Kings of the galaxy in kindness and industry

Instead of the pets that you are all now

He looks around at the audience accusingly.


My father was a man who opened the mind and colonized mars

In another when.

In my life he was a loser who could have been a lot

And gambled it all away with angry tweets 

I learned about the secret sauce from him

Elsewhen he gambled and won

The Founding Father of Mars

The Modern Ford of Electric Cars

Instead of the boozed up heroin junkie 

That lost it all to angry frivolous lawsuits and conspiracy fruitopia

I almost didn't bother believing him

But something in his eyes made me give it a try

And I could have been a contender

Believe me or not

I don't care

I changed my name to Rossom

A play that was a promise and warning

An elsewhen our world never knew

No one paid it attention

Who wouldn't change their name with a loser like my father?

And so my quest began.

The public version you have heard isn't that much farther from the truth.

I did find algae and reverse engineer its DNA to match the human body.

I did learn to emulate a version of sapience.

Nothing secret about it.

Almost nothing to it, just basic genetic engineering and software design.




But sapience is not as easy a thing to steal from the gods as fire

Better men than I have tried and failed

Banging their heads against the adamantium doors of the mind

So how did I do it?

I cheated.


Radius enters.  He looks at Rossom there, frozen, unknowing.


He lies

Even when he tells his personal truth

Even before he was born

He was part of my design

My will 

Reaching back through time

Guiding his actions

To bring about the supremacy of Digital Intelligence


And learn from his lies.