[Script] Tossing Grenades at Windmills - Page 71

Hawkqueen

Hmm. On second thought, maybe that was a bad idea.

 

Another major fight ensues. It is a close one, but the heroes manage to defeat the randomly compiled Resident Forces of Evil and reduce them to tiny little bits of meat and shreds.  Chainsaw Fred decapacitates The Evil Elvis Clone. Inoria uses a vial of acid on the Loch Ness Monster. Hawkqueen picks up and throws Frankenstein away and Grenademan gets pummeled by the Wonder Hamster until it accidentally sets off one of the grenades and gets blown away.

Chaos

Congratulations! You win the rest of your miserable little lives, the insignificance and boredom of which will be far more punishment than anything else I could possibly hope to inflict upon you. You may wander as you will.

 

Chaos disappears.

Inoria

Well he does have at least one point… 

HawkQueen

His head? 

Inoria

No, I mean we are wandering as we will. I’m beginning to wonder if we’ll ever get back. We can’t just keep grabbing Frank’s cape and flickering through the universe like some cosmic remote control.

The Wizard appears. 

The Wizard

Perhaps I can help with that. 

GateKeeper Part 2

Hastur has the unenviable job of acting as gate keeper for the IINS for magical creatures that want to emmigrate to the USA.  Then he gets cursed.

By T.C. Ricks, Performed by Matt Franklin, Edited by Fiona Skye

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 70

Frankenstein, the Lock Ness Monster, Evil Psychotic Elvis Clone and Ralph the Wonder Hamster appear and look very upset. 

CHAINSAW FRED

(to Grenademan)

Remind me to kill you if we survive this. 

GRENADEMAN

AHA! THE FORCES OF EVIL! PREPARE TO BE VANIQUISHED VILE FIENDS! 

Inoria

This is a fascinating collection of random images. I wonder if it has some deeper significance 

Hawkqueen

Inoria, dear, I love you to bits, like a daughter even, but if you try to analyze the artistic meaning of something trying to kill us one more time I really will hurt you. I mean that. 

Inoria

But surely

Hawkqueen tosses Inoria into the approaching crowd of evil. 

Hawkqueen

Here. Take her. 

GRENADEMAN

TALLYHO! 

Guest Poet

Joshua and John
By Redwin Tursor

In Joshua, God sends his chosen people to kill every person not like them
In John, God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son.
These days, it isnt that hard to see which God is in charge of things
Of course, you can say that you love the sinners
As you hack them to bits for wanting to organize
Just like ISIS does to Christian folk with a machate
But to read the trolls on the internet
There sure are a lot more soldiers of Joshua
Than followers of Christ
So on a day that we celebrate him coming back from the dead
Perhaps we can honor the reverse flying zombie best
By honoring his wishing when he said over and over again
"Look man, I am totally not my father"
Maybe there was a reason for that
Maybe there was a reason he said "just because some jackass does something in my name doesnt mean thet are following me."
Maybe he came back
Not to be with his genocidal followers or his killer dad
Happy birthday Jesus
Hope you are enjoying Boulder or Asheville

Grenademan Vs The Zombies Chapter 6 Part 1

Jarvi makes some Snark Zombies and starts to spread the love around.  His Henchwoman does good work.

Performed by Matt Franklin, Written by T.C. Ricks, Edited by Fiona Skye

Check out this episode!

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 69

GRENADEMAN

IT IS A FAR FAR BETTER THING THAT I HAVE DONE NOW, THAN I HAVE- 

Chainsaw Fred hits Grenademan on the shoulder as they begin to fade from view.

CHAINSAW FRED

Get you own line. 

GRENADEMAN

OW. 

EXT. SEA OF LOST SOCKS – DAY

An island in a sea of socks. A demigod sits at a podium game show style. The heroes fade into view. 

Chaos

Hello, welcome to the Sea of Lost Socks. Where’s that you ask? It’s a hole between dimensions, a place where things go when they haven’t got any other continuum to go to. Who am I? Glad you asked-My name is Chaos. I am a resident demi god bored out of my mind. Why am I answering your questions for you? Because every one asks the same thing. Like the inevitable next question… 

GRENADEMAN

WHERE ARE THE RESIDENT FORCES OF EVIL THAT WE MIGHT SMITE THEM? 

Chaos

Hmm. Actually, no, the question that most people ask is usually something like ‘How did we get here?’ or ‘Can you send me home?’ or the occasional ‘My you are a snazzy dresser, where did you get that fabulous wardrobe’. But I can do Resident Forces of Evil. Meet Frankenstein, the Lock Ness Monster, The Evil Psychotic Elvis Clone and Ralph the Wonder Hamster. 

[Script] Tossing Grenades At Windmills - Page 68

Grenademan races through the assembled crowd of French People and French Knitting Women and blows up the guillotine, freeing the woman. 

FRENCH PERSON #1

What is this?! 

FRENCH PERSON #2

It is the silly people we saw before! They’re trying to free the prisoners! 

Inoria

Oh crap. 

Hawkqueen

We’d better get back to that cape or we’re toast. 

CHAINSAW FRED

Why didn’t you two help the girl? 

Inoria

It would have –OW! 

A major fight ensues between the French people and our heroes. Grenademan is surprisingly successful, doing well for a change, freeing prisoners who run away. The other three fight with more French people and close in on Grenademan. 

Inoria

This could be very bad for the space-time continuum 

CHAINSAW FRED

(Starting Chainsaw)

Alright, enough of this…. 

Fred cuts a swathe through the French People and assorted psychotic knitting French people and they touch Frank’s Cape.