by Emmit Other
There is power in belief
But so few consider the consequences
Such reckless belief might make Santa and his reindeer fly
You might not even mind the Krampus
Revived by a raft of Christmas horror movies
But now the existential Christmas Dilema
Is part of the Mythology
Like Mr Magoo
Santa needs constant saving
His head stuck in a bucket
Or jail
Or kidnapped by Martians
Or trapped in an office complex during am elaborate heist of Nakatomi Plaza
Like Camelot being invaded
By every rando and his aunt matilda
Incompotent Santa needs constant help
It makes Christmas ours
Democratizing the magical distribution of presents
Though by new the sleigh smells like a used restroom in the Back of Fucking Beyond
The elves really cant get the smell out
So when you see Santa
With his neck stuck in a plastic six ring beer holder
By all means help the poor bastard out
But let him do his job
Poor man has self esteem issues
Let christmas save itself for once
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