The Caretaker comes on stage. Everyone else freezes.
Caretaker: (embarrassed)
This part of the record has been...corrupted.
As the record fell from hand to hand
Medium to medium
Over tens of thousands of years
We know by careful analysis that only parts of what you shall see are true
Between now and the end of the second act
But the story is sacred
The record is important
And it is the last written record of an original evolved human
A great and final debate occurred
What you shall see was
decided by committee
We did the best we could
[Caretaker Exits the Stage]
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