[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Out Of Their League

The League of Christmas Darkness were evil but not bad

So when they saw the North Pole sink 

They hung their heads in sad

With no Santa  there was no ritual to steal

With all drowned elves

Some monsters had no meal

Sure they could survive

But  they defined themselves with Christmas

And while genuinely good people

Were still good

The lack of magic without Drowned Santa

Was random and rare

And so Mirror Universe Santa, and Krampus 

And all the other Christmas Villains

Began to believe presents again

Coopted by the Holiday 

That Would Not Stop

Could Not Be Stopped

Until

You

Are

Fucking 

Merry.

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Borealisg

The Northern Lights inspires

But she is eternally alone

She lights the sky

And brings hope to those in the Long Winter Night

She cannot see her peer

Far far to the south

But she can hear her

They sing at night

Songs only the stars can hear

Until fon one night

A magic spell

Let them embrace in each others arms

Two dancing lovers

Kissing and twirling in the snow

Together at last

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Happy Birthday Jesus

Once upon a time

There was a sweet nigh perfect boy

Born in Bethlehem

Raised in Galilee

Smart, bright and beloved by all

There are those who say 

There is no historical record 

Of Jesus of Nazareth

And 

They are liars

Now

Did this young man have magical powers?

Was he literally a God made Flesh?

Who knows

He was

Per extensive research and the actual bible

Born in April

But Rome put it in Mithras

To make the new state Christian Religion

More Popular

No matter what you believe

About his divinity

Or the synchronicity between gospels

His message is clear

'This I have told you

Love one another'

So

It is kind hilarious

That the Axis of Fascism

Gave plans

Leaked by Trump

To Theocratic Fascists

To Attack Theocratic Totalitarian Imperialists

(I cant call Israel Fascist

Because Fascism requires a cult of personality

And Bibi has none)

To empower Russia

To divide the west

And starve funds

From Ukraine

Weakening Democracy Everywhere

Sounds like a crap plan

But its working

And working well

As we see

In Argentina

In Poland

In The Netherlands

In the Toilet Bowl US House

So this Holy Land

Is awash in blood

Splattered by Bombs

Made by America

For Israel

To Drop On 2.2 million people

Most of whom are under 18

That a plurality approaching majority

In Israel Dont Consider Human

Because Aipac

Because Larry Summers

Because Putin

'This I have taught you

To love one another'

Aint no love

Like that 

Of the fruits

Not known by Christ

But who fake cast Demons Out

In His Name

[Poem] 31 Carols of Christmas - Christmas Appropriation

Milo Mindbender In A Santa Hat

Dry humping A Zip Tied Ball Gagged Krampus

Smacking His Lips On Santa Jerky

Flicking A Platinum Coin

At Tiny Tiny Tim In a Hamster Wheel

To Power The  Organ of Shrieks

From Three Bound Ghosts of Christmas Past Present and Future

To his Demented Musical Delight  

Sits Back on a Genuine Leather Arm Chair Made

Of Dasher Leather

Sipping Hot Cocoa Laced With the Rare Imported Grinch Blood

While Max Looks Out the Window with Sad Wide Eyes

The House Always Wins

And its Good To Be The King.

[Poem] The 31 Carols of Christmas - Dickens

Christmas existed before Christmas

Saturnalia and Mithras

Christmas existed before what we conceive of 

As Christmas

A holiday that celebrated the birth

of The Desert Messiah

But

But

But

The mythology of a better world

A world where Samsurra or Satan 

Or the tyranny of the Demon Deceiver

Wrapped us up in our personal hells

That the mirage of banality the Skeptic bane

Made to only fantasize  that we could escape to a simulation

A world where 

Even only for a month

The promise of the New Testament

Of The Beatitudes

Of a Better World

Were True

And

In Some ways

Ironically

Christmas Is Real 

The Man Who Invented Christmas

Is Real

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

Is Real

Dickens

Im His Story of Three Ghosts scolding a Capitalist

For BEING a good Capitalist

And he listens

And actually gives a shit about humanity

That part sadly

Is most definitely fiction

And capitalists have been Capitalizing on Christmas

Ever since

But the spirit of the thing

A better world

It is real

Love it or hate it

Everyone in the world is touched by it

Every religion has created or adjusted their holidays

To capture or mirror that feeling

That very real magic

The Nightmare Before Christmas Skeleton Jack

Where we all laboratory our Tinsel

Boiling Toiling the Wonder

Of How

How

How

Do we make it real

Ironically

No Invisible Power can enslave us

If we dont have enough people willing to be assholes

To each other

Why cant every day be Christmas?

It can

I believe

Eventually

It will

Dickens saw it first

We literally just have to believe

And

I do

Emphasis on

Eventually

......

Very

Very

Very

Eventually

[Poem] Developer User Interface

Few professions

Are as wonderful

Or as Stupid 

As the Developer

Give them a lever large enough

And they will move the world

Give them a problem

and they are the ultimae wizards of 

HOW

But for What Why When

Or Gods Help Us All

Why

They are Circus Clowns

Every stupid button

Every annoying slider

Or garbage crap

If it wasnt enshittification for money

It was an idiot developer

Trying to automated something

They shouldnt

Probably

Due to Hubris

Or Laziness

https://mastodon.social/@rticks/111455743716265288

[Poem] Poem of the Third

This one is gonna be weird

Not gonna share it

So if the weird or disturbing stuff

Sets you on edge

Or makes you feel

Like you are chewing tinfoil

This is one to skip 

Gentle reader

Ahem

And he spoke to them in Parables

Because he did not want to be deplatformed

Go read the Parable of the Ten Talents

In the Bible

I will wait

Good

That guy

Went and used his 1000 talents of gold

(Side fact ladies and gents

A talent is kinma close to 66 pounds

Or 1.5 million dollars

So the king 

Made him a fucking nillionare)

And made himself 

A science comoany

(I warned you this gets weird)

And performed a Human Centipede style experiment

And grafted the head of the King onto his son

While they were both alive and screaming

The nillionare Gold Guy (we will just call him the nillionare now)

Then took the second talent guy

And stole all his talents

And scattered him to the four corners of the Earth

And then he cloned

The king/prince again and again

Rebooting his memory

Like that movie The Island

And still paraded clones

Of the King Monster around

Until some rando showed up

And claimed that All Gold Guys stuff

Belong to him

And sporked Gold Guy

And they Sporked each other 

While the clones crawled back to the lab

And tried to put Humpty Dumpty 

Back Together Again

And the Prince was OK

And slightly normal

But he was the Prince

Not the king

Amd then the army of clone kings

(Army of Kangs?)

Went nuts

And randomly distributed gold

Randomly

And then said second talent guy

And his descendants

Got the kingdom for a while

And then Batman showed up

For...

Reasons.

Yeah this isnt a good story

Its just an accurate one

If you know what is going on

Which you dont want to

Trust me

Why are you reading this again?

Anyway Batman goes and finds...

Er...

Superman

And superman looks at the Army of Mad Kinds

And rounds em all up

And puts em in Arkham

But some kings are mean

And some are  evil fucking Jokers

And this one king that gave the kingdom back

To second talent guy

Along with several other kings

Were evaluated by Superman

To see if they could be rehabilitated or not

Anyway

Remember that obscure Bat Villain

The Ventriloquist?

Who had a dummy that killed people

But 'forgot' what the Dummy did

Why the fuck are you still here?

Anyway the Ventriloquist was really really fucking suprised

To be in the same category as Joker and Riddler

And a bunch of Kangs

But there he was

And he was not there

To keep Gotham PD

From taking Gotham

Back for the original owners

Turns out

The gold the king gave

Wasnt his to give in the first place

And

Superman

Gave

It

Back

See if I dont